Going Gold
by Shinsun
Summary: SEQUEL to Not In A Million Years. Being a kid is tough. Being the son of two all-powerful Super Saiyans who've saved the universe a dozen times is much tougher. Tess has a lot to live up to, and he's determined not just to surpass his brother and ascend, but to go even further. Life's not always easy, and if you happen to be Saiyan; to get to the top, you just have to go gold.
1. Chapter 1

Going Gold

INTRODUCTION

((First of all, this is a SEQUEL to Not In A Million Years. If you haven't read that story, do that NOW or you'll be totally lost by this story.

Still reading? Either you're stubborn or you have already read the story. Good for you.

For those of you who haven't read NIAMY or those of you that need a refresher, I'm going to give you a little (or HUGE) summary before I start. So here's the story thus far...

First and foremost, Vegeta is very different in this story than he is in the original anime. His personality is very different, but more important is the fact that he is a hermaphrodite (sort of) and can get pregnant. I guess the more fitting term is pseudo-hermaphrodite because he's physically exactly like a male and his genetics are much the same. It hasn't been explained exactly how he can conceive, leave it that he can. This was discovered early-on in the original story when he and Goku had anger sex one time and he accidentally got knocked up with his first pure-blooded son Tesserot. Goku was angry at Vegeta for a while, mostly because he was confused and conflicted and because his wife had recently divorced him. Later he accidentally made Vegeta his mate, but it was one-sided and they both suffered from it. Goku struggled with his possessive urges and Gohan took a beating, in short, everybody was miserable. After an incident where Goku nearly killed Vegeta, though, the conflict was put behind them and they became mutual mates when Goku realized just how much the prince meant to him. Vegeta found out he has two pleasure centers, one of them a G-spot, though why that is or what relevance it has to the plot is unknown. Bulma is totally cool with Goku and Vegeta's relationship and with Vegeta being the way he is, and she's dating Yamcha now, but we don't care about that because...well... he's Yamcha. ChiChi is an insufferable, evil, abusive bitch who used to shun Goku but is now trying to steal him back (what's up with that...?) And we DEFINITELY haven't seen the last of her. Yes, she should just give it up and jump off a cliff, but that's besides the point.

Anyway Tesserot was born a little early, but was no worse off for it, and Vegeta learned through experience that it's not possible for him to give birth naturally and he has to be cut open to deliver the baby. The first birth was really stressful, but it left a lot more mental scars on Goku than it left physical ones on Vegeta (Goku had nightmares for 3 straight months after the procedure, but kept them secret from Vegeta). Tess grew extremely quickly, being Saiyan, and he calls Vegeta "_tӫtka_" (the Saiya-go word for "mother") instead of "mom" (for obvious reasons). Long story short, Vegeta went into heat six months after Tess's birth, and (being the over-dominant, super horny male he is) Goku got him pregnant _again._ The second pregnancy only lasted a month and ended in a rather devastating miscarriage, however. Six months later, Tess aged a year and Vegeta went into heat for a third time, and this time Goku was very considerate and caring and said he was "willing to try again". Side-note; Goku sometimes calls Vegeta "_shi-kḁdria_ " (the Saiya-go word for "love") and vise versa, just to prove how much they love each other.

The third pregnancy was less traumatic (mostly because Goku and Vegeta's relationship was a lot more stable and they knew what to expect) and Vegeta learned – through an incident involving a LOT of alcohol (which doesn't affect Saiyans the way it affects humans) – that he could reach SSJ3 and is even stronger than Goku... Only involuntarily though (we still don't know where that is going to lead...yet). Vegeta's second full-blooded son Veito was born way too early (seven months into the pregnancy) and we soon learned that an early birth was the _least_ of his problems. Turns out Veito's chromosomes are YY, meaning his genetics are extremely unstable and he is not by any means "normal". He was very quiet to begin with, but the full scale of his genetic disorder wasn't revealed until he was older. He sometimes has "attacks" which are a lot like seizures and can range from temporary paralysis to extreme variances in his ki and even stopping his heart. Tess inherited a lot of Goku's dominant traits and sometimes gets jealous or possessive, but we all know he cares deeply about his brother's safety and would do anything for him. In the epilogue of the story, Tess is almost 12 years old, Veito is 10, Gohan is married to Videl and has a three-year-old daughter Pan, and Vegeta is pregnant again for the final time with a daughter of his own.

Good Gods, that summary took up a WHOLE PAGE! Any longer and it would be a novel of its own. That's what I get for writing a 54 chapter story, I guess.

And now... the sequel can begin.))

X

Going Gold

Chapter 1

**Tesserot**

Call me Tesserot. Though just about everyone calls me Tess nowadays and I've been known to answer to "Son", "Brat", "Shorty" and "Sport"... you get the idea. There are two things you should know about me; I'm a thirteen-year-old Saiyan alien... and both of my parents are male.

I grew up thinking that was normal, but I soon learned otherwise. Around the same time I "left the nest" as Dad put it and ventured into the outside world (otherwise known as school) I noticed that I got a _lot_ of weird looks, and not just for my appearance or my tail. And it was then, at the age of four, that I learned the meaning of the word "gay"... and rewrote my definition of normal. I've been adding to that definition ever since; every time I learn something new that my parents _conveniently_ forgot to mention. Like the fact that if I hit a human child the way I would hit one of my brothers, I'd break their jaw; as was the unfortunate case of my classmate Liam in third grade. He still hasn't forgiven me for that, and it's been almost five years.

Another thing I had to learn on my own was that if I didn't keep my tail guarded, it was sure to get hurt. And I don't mean it's going to get stepped on; which had happened more times than I can count, or that it would get snagged on something... again, more times than I can count... No, apparently humans have _such_ an insatiable curiosity that they will just _reach out and grab_ anything they don't understand. Like my tail. And I also learned that if they did grab said tail, it felt like it was being clamped between iron pincers. Why did my parents leave their own tails so unprotected? Didn't they get the same unwanted grabs and touches from random passerby? No of course they didn't. They were untouchable. Invincible. Like living gods.

I know most kids look up to their parents and think they know everything, or look at their dad and think he's Superman or something... but my parents are _literally_ like gods. Don't believe me? Let me break it down for you.

My mother is a Saiyan prince, Vegeta, ruler of an entire dead race and heir to a long-forgotten throne. He's also a Super Saiyan, which were said to be lost to legend, but are very _very_ real in my world. Not only that, he is a Super Saiyan _two, _and I heard rumors that he even reached _three_ once. Also he's brilliant. He could solve any problem in the blink of an eye and comes up with these theories and strategies that just make my head spin. How can he _think_ that fast? Where does all that knowledge _come_ from?

My dad... don't even get me started. My dad is a literal _living legend_. Ask just about anyone of significance across the world and they could tell you a tale or two about Son Goku. Even just _standing_ in his _presence,_ you can feel his power, just _radiating_ like waves. Super Saiyan. The first to exist in a thousand years. Ascended Saiyan. Super Saiyan three. He's saved the world more times than he could count on both hands, and not just _this_ world, but others as well; even the whole _universe._

Talk about some big shoes to fill.

And it's not like I'm even able to live up to their massive shadow alone. I have four brothers. Three older than me; one of the three by a _long _shot. Gohan, Goten, and Trunks. All of them Super Saiyans, the eldest at level two and beyond.

My younger brother Veito is another story. He's younger than me by almost two years, and while he might not relish a fight like I do, like a _true_ Saiyan should, his power level is even _higher_ than mine. My dad predicted he'd be a Super Saiyan by the end of the year. Right in front of me. And of course everyone loves Veito. It might just be an _obligation_ because he's so unstable and unpredictable, but I can tell when my mom watches him fight, he's proud. He never shows that same spark of pride when he looks at _me._

And Veito isn't even the youngest. I have another sibling, a one-year-old sister named Kísta. And of course she's the baby. Everyone adores her. Being the only daughter in a long line of sons, even _she_ has something special, and she's not even out of diapers yet.

Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I should be grateful that I have what I have. Still... I wonder what it would be like... to be normal like everyone else. Or to at least be special like my siblings and my parents. I don't know, sometimes I just feel... unnecessary. Or left out. Or something.

Maybe I'll get answers when I'm older, but then, I've been telling myself that for years.

X

"Tess, roll up your sleeves, you're smearing the ink." Dad admonished me. I grit out a frustrated growl and did as he said before focusing back on my work. In addition to the near-mountain of homework rolling in from school, I also had to my Saiya-go studies every Friday. Just copying down runes and translating and such. It seemed kind of pointless to me. At least I didn't have to do them by myself, but of course Veito was _so_ perfect and never made mistakes like I did.

"What's the point?" I muttered under my breath, "No one uses this language anymore. No one has for years."

My dad looked at me for a few seconds, and then laughed a little.

"Hey, Vegeta!" he called. A few moments passed and the prince entered the room with a questioningly raised eyebrow.

"What?" he asked.

"_E__ƶ__c fash__á__n re__қ__a Tess gh__ä__ta. N__ỷ__k sch'iro a virsh n__ê__ta?"_

Vegeta blinked, and then smirked, "_N__ê__ta, Kakarot. Virsh n__ê__ta."_

I watched the exchange, slightly irritated, slightly intrigued.

"Dad said you were questioning your studies and asked whether he should punish you with more work," Veito said from next to me, without looking up from his paper, "And _Tӫtka _said he didn't need to yet. I guess you're lucky."

I swallowed a snarl that my little brother knew so much more than me, but said nothing.

"Get back to work, okay son?" Dad muttered as he passed me, flicking my shoulder with his tail, "Then we can spar if you like. All four of us," the glance he shot at Veito and the implication of including my mother too explained which four he meant.

I sighed and turned back to the slightly smudged sheet in front of me.

I might never live up to the huge standards my parents and siblings had set. Even some of my friends were more powerful than me by a stretch. But, like the Saiyan I was, I was stubborn. And I wasn't about to back out of a challenge without giving it my all.

One day I'd surpass my brother. I just knew it. And maybe from there I could go even further, and become a Super Saiyan. And then I'd finally see the unfiltered pride in the eyes of my parents that I'd been searching for for as long as I could remember.

TBC

_((First chapter. Not too shabby, I think, even if most of it was just review from the first story. I just wanted to start this because it's been nagging at me in the back of my head. The Saiyan words in this were difficult, and I'd like to thank Alithiel (Erin) for inspiration...even if she's no longer with us. Thanks for reading, you beautiful little people. Next chapter is from Vegeta's POV and you know what that means. Hell yeah, sex! No but seriously._

_-Shinsun))_


	2. Chapter 2

Going Gold

Chapter 2

**Vegeta**

I knew this feeling. The feeling that my skin was burning up and that I craved sex like nothing else in the world. Dutifully, I swallowed my pills to erase the scent beginning to thicken the air and to temporarily halt my conception abilities. Gods, I hated being in heat... but at the same time...I loved it. Loved it because soon I would have the completely undivided attention of my mate all to myself. Even if Kakarot couldn't smell that I was in season, he'd know before long.

Six months ago when this had last happened, there had been a rare divergence from our usual routine. Kísta had still been so young, and that in addition to her brothers needing almost constant attention meant we actually _didn't have time_ to satiate the desire crawling through my veins. Because there was no scent to lure Kakarot in, my need was ignored. Worst seven days of my life.

But this time it would be different.

All of the kids – and I mean _all_ of them – were spending the day at Gohan and Videl's house today. Kísta would be happy because she could spend time with Pan, who was practically her idol; and Tess and Veito would be happy because they could actually get out of the house and do something. I hoped it would lighten the mood between them to have some time away and see their three older brothers – who they hadn't seen in a while - lately there just seemed to be some kind of _tension_ between the two pure-blooded boys. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was up.

I resolved to ask Kakarot about it when I got the chance, but for now, I had more pressing matters in mind.

Kakarot was half-sitting on the sofa, writing something down with the pen in his tail, his gaze completely elsewhere. I crept up behind him, suppressing my energy, and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my nose in the nape of his neck to inhale his addicting scent. He jumped, predictably, and the pen he gripped in his tail swerved, scribbling hectically as he tensed.

"Oh, it's just you," he muttered eventually, his ki coming back down from its initial alarmed spike.

"Is that any way to greet your mate?" I purred sensually.

"Stop it, Vegeta. Not right now," he protested, lightly pushing me away.

My hands slid over his smooth, hard shoulders and I leaned closer, "But you're _always_ horny, Kakarrrrot."

I rolled the r's into a purr that I knew he couldn't resist.

"Yeah, but right now I have to work," I noticed he didn't deny what I said, nor did he try to mask the faint rattle of desire in his voice, "So leave me alone, please."

I ignored him and trailed lingering kisses down the side of his neck, purring all the while.

I gently scraped my teeth across his mating mark and he expelled a shaky breath.

"Vegeetaah," he pleaded, "Not now. I promise when I'm done I'll -"

I interrupted him by turning his head to the side and kissing him deeply, feeling his objections melt as he gave a short moan and his tongue played with mine. I released him after a moment, my continuous purr echoed by his deeper one.

"Vegeta, are you in heat again?" he asked, tail flicking slightly.

"You can't even tell when I am anymore?" I purred, crawling onto the sofa with him and straddling his chest, capturing his mouth again leisurely as he lay back to accommodate me. The pen he'd been holding slipped from his tail's grip and fell to the floor. I knew I had won.

"Fuck, Vegeta," he groaned as I rolled my hips against his sexually, feeling his arousal awaken at the contact.

I smirked, "That's _exactly_ what I want you to do, Kakarot."

"Damn heat cycle," he muttered halfheartedly, tipping his head back so my lips could have access to his throat and chin. Baring one's throat was a blatant act of trust, and I swore on my life to never abuse that.

"Heh." I snickered into the sensitive skin of his neck, "You know you love it."

He released a pent-up breath shakily, "Whatever."

"Now hush," I said, "Let me concentrate."

Another breath-stealing kiss and he was responding to the steady grind of our hips, panting against my mouth and giving wordless, moaned commands to try to direct my touch where he wanted it most.

Thirteen years of this and he was still as lief and erogenous as the first time; and I wondered if he would never tire of it, if he'd never tire of _me._ I hoped he wouldn't, I most certainly would never get enough of _him._

Both of us nearly fell off the couch when Kakarot arched against me as I stroked his tail, his arousal straining against my own. He licked the side of my neck with a low chuckle.

"We should probably do this somewhere else," he said breathlessly.

I nodded shortly and he teleported a short distance, both of us dropping four feet from the air in which we rematerialized and landing in our own bed. He pinned me down, invading my mouth aggressively with his ardent tongue as he crushed our mouths together. Now _there_ was the eagerness I was looking for.

Everywhere our skin touched I burned, and his clothes met a gruesome fate at the shredding of my fingers, just for more of the overwhelming heat that was my mate. His hips undulated fluidly against mine, and he was shivering just slightly. Outwardly, he was silent as he peeled my clothes from me, but in his mind he was screaming his desire, throwing any lingering inhibitions to hell along with his facade of calm.

Perfect.

Twice a year, I needed him like this. Needed the lack of restraint and primal dominance that lay just under the surface of Kakarot's steel trap of a mind. I _needed_ him to dominate me, to snarl and scratch and bite like an animal just to help me find the release my body needed. It was too raw and borderline masochistic to be called something as gentle as "making love".

Twice a year, I needed him to just fuck me.

Don't get me wrong, Kakarot was no sadist. He didn't enjoy causing pain and certainly would never raise a hand against me in any violent instance with the intention to cause harm. But sometimes, he just let himself lose control. And I was the only person who could take all of him; he didn't have to hold back around me.

I threw my head back with a shout as he slowly entered me, soothing any discomfort with a gentle kiss on my shoulder, just below my mating mark. I feathered my tail down his spine lightly, making him tremble as a purr rumbled from his chest. He kissed me briefly, and then drew back, almost all the way. I braced myself, and he slammed forward, exploding to Super Saiyan as I cried out in sheer ecstasy. He stroked a strong hand across my turgid arousal as he moved, and beneath my skin, my blood ignited.

"More," I pleaded, locking my arms around his neck and pulling him down to my level.

He grunted a response and his burning lips arrested mine. I let myself ascend to match his power, and the heat and intensity and pressure skyrocketed as our combined energy swirled in a golden inferno around us. The rhythm of our bodies became a dance, a languid, fluid movement that gradually increased pace as we vocalized the rush together.

Kakarot lunged forward and buried his teeth in my mark, growling possessively. My throat strained as I voiced the pleasure in a ragged cry, my blood flooding into my mate's mouth. A deep moan rose from his throat, his blonde hair tickling my chin as he drank me hungrily.

My fingers clenched in the sheets and as he hit home again, I cried out as white-hot bliss roared through me; my mind going completely blank as I came like an act of the gods, Kakarot following a few strokes later, throwing his head back and groaning with the release. His arms shook to hold himself up and not crush me, and he withdrew gently and lay by my side, his hair and eyes fading to black. I let go of my transformation as well, trying to catch my breath and slow my racing heart.

X

"So I've been watching Tesserot lately," Kakarot began, tossing a shirt over his head and shaking water from his recent shower from his hair like a dog. How did he manage to look so hot just drying himself off? I blinked away the thought and resumed toweling off my own moisture.

"I know," I said, "so have I. What about him?"

"He seems troubled," my mate said, pulling on some loose sweatpants and threading his black tail through the hole.

I nodded, "I've noticed. But we already knew he was going to get jealous of his siblings, right? All we can do is show him we appreciate him just as much."

Kakarot shook his head slowly, "I don't think that's it. He seems... _frustrated._ Like he's trying to accomplish something and he keeps failing."

I looked at him, slipping on my own pants, "How so?"

"Well..." Kakarot said, "Actually, he reminds me of you. Back when you were obsessed with becoming a Super Saiyan and 'surpassing' me. He's so driven and determined, but he's also kind of wild, like he doesn't care. And he tries really hard to show off all the time."

I laughed shortly.

My mate's eyebrows rose, "What?"

I threw on a shirt and stepped over to him, flicking my tail slowly.

"That's not like I was at all. Well... sort of. But that's kind of normal for a Saiyan. In fact, he's actually a lot more like what _you_ would be like if you didn't hit your head as a child."

He blinked, "Really?"

I nodded, "I was never really a dominant person. I tried to be, but that's just not who I was. Tess on the other hand... well, he's got all the makings of an alpha male."

Kakarot winced just slightly, "Doesn't that mean he's going to eventually challenge me? I've seen what happens in nature, Vegeta."

I thought about it. I knew what happened in the wild too. I wasn't sure how much like the animals Saiyans actually were, but they were a lot closer to their primal roots than humans, that's for sure.

"I don't know." I admitted, "Maybe when he comes of age, but I don't think he'll pose a threat to you."

The beginning of a snarl cornered my mate's mouth, and I wondered if he actually _did_ view Tess as a threat. My mind was put to rest with what he said, though.

"That's not what I'm worried about," he growled, "What if he tries to fight me? What if I hurt him? What if I can't control myself and I...?"

I put a hand on his shoulder gently, "You won't. You love Tesserot, right?"

"Of course." he said with conviction, "Of course I do."

"Then answer me this, Kakarot, can animals love? The way we do?"

He started to say something, and then broke off with a sigh.

"I don't know."

"Kakarot, look at me," I intoned, he did, and I saw how much this really was bothering him, "We are not _animals._ We can rationalize and make sense of things. And I know that if you and Tess end up in a power struggle of sorts, you'll work it out."

I barely heard the next words my mate whispered, "I don't want him to hate me."

I didn't know what to say to that. Kakarot had always counted on his sons caring for him with the same depth that he cared for them, and the uncertainty of Tesserot's future must have cut a hole in what he once knew to be true no matter what. I don't think he'd ever thought that one of his children would ever be truly angry with him.

I embraced him comfortingly, twining my tail around his and purring soothingly.

"It'll be alright. You'll see."

I hoped I spoke the truth. As much as I hoped things would turn out alright, I couldn't predict the future any more than my mate could.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Going Gold

Chapter 3

**Tesserot**

Gohan was a great storyteller. I'd listened to his tales about the past hundreds of times before, but he always managed to make them sound new and exciting every time he told them. Ever since I was a little kid, I was amazed by the stories he spun from a confident voice and a long, long memory. Everything. He remembered everything. He remembered the exact color of Perfect Cell's eyes, what it had felt like to stand in his father's presence the first time he went Super Saiyan on Namek, even the sound of the door hissing shut when he was thrown in a pod by his sadistic uncle Radditz. What was the most riveting about these tales was that they were a hundred percent true. I knew most of them by heart now, but I pleaded along with my little brother and sister to hear them again when we visited Gohan that day. It was a semi-rare occurrence that all five of my siblings and I were in one place at one time, but today we were staying at Gohan and Videl's house. Why? I have no idea. That's just what my mom had planned today.

But I wasn't complaining. It was cold today, winter was definitely coming, and it was nice to stay indoors with my family and listen to Gohan's many stories.

"Everyone comfortable? Pan, you have enough room, there's no need to push Kísta, okay?" Gohan said easily while crammed between the two young girls with barely any room to move. Veito sat on the edge of the sofa and I perched on one of the armrests. Goten and Trunks were even there, leaning against the back of the couch casually as if they could leave anytime, but I knew they'd stay to hear whatever tale Gohan was about to tell. Even if they _were_ in their early twenties, one never grows too old for a good story.

"Now... which story do you want to hear?"

"Tell us about Frieza and the first time Dad went Super," I suggested.

"No, I've heard that one a million times; tell us about fighting Super Buu when you got your Mystic powers!" Pan pleaded.

"Trunks and I were there for that one," Goten muttered, "What about the Cell Game? That's always a good story."

Then Veito spoke up quietly, and I had to agree with him on this one.

"Tell us how Mom and Dad met."

Everyone agreed enthusiastically.

"Okay, but I'll warn you, it's not a very romantic story."

"Good." Trunks said. Goten slapped him.

"It all began when I was about four years old..." Gohan intoned; that faraway look coming into his eyes that showed up whenever he was about to recount his distant memories.

The scene he spun painted a picture in my head.

"...I woke up and found out Dad was dead. I was alone with Piccolo, and he wasn't such a nice guy back then. I had no idea where I was; but all around me were huge plateaus and endless wilderness, and I didn't know it at the time, but beyond that was a savage desert, and a violent sea. Piccolo told me that the world was in danger, and he'd taken me on as his unwilling student to train me in one year's time to be able to defeat the threat coming closer to Earth with every day. He told me the Saiyans were coming, and they wanted to kill us."

"That was _Tӫtka_, right?" Kísta piped up, her little black tail flicking excitedly.

"That's right. Back then, he was a deadly enemy, and I didn't like my chances as I trained day in and day out not just to fight, but to stay alive in such a wild, cruel place. Every day it was a struggle just to keep food in my belly, and to keep pushing on, trying to get stronger. And somewhere in the back of my mind I knew the worst was yet to come, and I dreaded the day that that short year would come to a close. Knowing I had a very slim chance of survival against these Saiyans.

"But eventually, that day came. We knew the Saiyans were going to come, and I felt so strong after the rigorous training and life in the rugged land I'd been stuck in for a year. Little did I know my strength wouldn't be enough. None of our strengths would be enough. But I didn't have to fight alone. Piccolo, Yamcha, Krillin, Chaotzu, and Tien were there too. There were only two Saiyans; Vegeta, and a much larger Saiyan named Nappa."

"What did Nappa look like?" I interrupted, wanting to add to the picture in my head. I'd heard the story before, but since I'd never _seen_ Nappa, I still had a hard time picturing him without the aid of a description. Of course I could picture Mom, but I doubted he'd looked the way I visualized him back then. He would be far younger, of course, and much less experienced. And back then he wasn't one of the good guys; in fact he was about as bad as you could get without being pure evil.

"Nappa was really bulky and tall, with broad shoulders... I remember his shoulders really well. He wore the same yellow and blue uniform that all of Frieza's flunkies wore, though we didn't know that Frieza even existed back then. He wore gloves, but they didn't cover his fingers, and boots that were enormous. He had no hair,"

Kísta giggled, probably trying to picture a bald Saiyan. It wasn't easy, I'll admit, most Saiyans were defined by their distinctive hair.

"And he had a blue scouter. I told you what those are right?"

I nodded and so did my siblings.

"He had a thin mustache too, and a dark brown tail around his waist, like a belt."

"Like what we do when we're keeping up our guard?" I asked.

"Exactly."

Gohan paused a moment, closing his eyes as if trying to draw up the memories from so long ago.

"But despite Nappa's size and power, it was your mother that scared me the most."

"Why?" Veito asked.

Gohan chuckled shakily, remembering an old fear.

"Vegeta was just... there's no word for how he was back then, and I'll do my best to compensate for that. He was so much smaller than Nappa. Smaller than Piccolo and even Yamcha and Tien. But there was this _fire_ in his eyes that was just terrifying. He was so confident, and his power radiated from him so heavily that I could almost feel it. I knew he could kill me as easily as a housefly. And the scariest part was that he knew it too."

He drew a deep breath and went on.

"He wore gloves back then. That was something that really defined Vegeta until more recent years. Every time I saw him, he had the same elbow-length white gloves. Every time."

"Why not now?" Goten asked from behind the couch. I'd almost forgotten he and Trunks were there.

Gohan shrugged, "I don't know. He still does sometimes, but I think Dad managed to get him out of the habit somehow. Around the time Dad made him his mate, Vegeta stopped wearing gloves. So I think that's why. He wasn't as insecure anymore."

"Was he insecure back then?" Pan queried.

Gohan looked thoughtful, "Maybe. I think he always had some of those inhibitions. He never let them show, though, and the first time I met him, I would have sworn he feared nothing.

"Anyhow, Nappa fought us first. Actually, the Saibamen did, but that's another story. All of us fought with everything we had... well, most of us. I was too scared to even move. And I knew I was letting them down, when Yamcha, Chaotzu and Tien died. I would have died too, I was right in Nappa's sights, but Piccolo saved me. And he paid for that with his life. And _then_ I really got scared. I knew I still had Krillin there, but I knew if Piccolo couldn't stand up to the Saiyans, I didn't have a chance. And then the most amazing thing happened."

"Dad came?" I asked.

"Dad came," he nodded, "He saved my life and Krillin's, and beat that guy Nappa so hard he couldn't even stand. Being near him, when he was so angry and powerful... it was amazing. Of course, it was just a sliver of his true potential, but back then, it was the most incredible thing I'd ever seen. Dad could beat these guys. I knew it. I was sure of it."

"What happened to Nappa?" Kísta inquired.

Gohan smirked, "Vegeta blew him up. I have no earthly idea why, even now. Probably thought he was useless if he couldn't fight, and I'll bet he just got annoyed by the big lug. I was more afraid of him at the time than annoyed, but looking back, I think I should have been more the latter.

"And Dad knew he had to fight Vegeta. Knew it right from the beginning, there was no reasoning with him. And I think, maybe Dad was excited a little. I might never understand it, but it was Saiyan psychology. The stronger the opponent, the more of a rush he gets trying to defeat them. And Dad knew he either had to defeat Vegeta, or die. There was no middle ground.

"He told me to run. Told me and Krillin to go home and leave him to fight alone. I remember I was afraid again. But this time it was because I wasn't sure if I'd ever see my dad again."

I tried to imagine what that was like, but my imagination failed me. I always counted on my parents being there for me, and I couldn't even think of life without them there. And Gohan was barely five years old back then, it must have been terrible.

"I didn't see most of their fight, but I could sense it. And even though Dad had gotten so strong in Otherworld, Vegeta was still stronger."

"Mom was stronger?" I asked.

"Yes. Back then, his power was almost double what Dad's was. It seemed unlikely that Dad would get out alive, especially when Vegeta created an artificial moon and transformed."

"He could _do_ that?" Veito sounded startled.

"Yeah, and he probably still can. Don't ask him to, though, I don't think anything good could come from five full-blooded Oozarus rampaging all over the place. One was bad enough.

"And the next time I saw Dad, he was being suffocated by the giant ape's huge hands. Squeezed almost to death like a child's toy."

"I bet you felt angry," I said. I know _I'd_ be.

"I was definitely more afraid than angry. I just wanted all of that to be over. I just wanted Dad to be okay. And I just wanted Vegeta to leave. I didn't care if he died or not, I just wanted him gone.

"Then Vegeta lost his tail, and he returned to normal. I was lucky, he was about two seconds from stomping me into the ground. And even then, even with the combined and weary efforts of my beaten, broken father, my friend Krillin and my terrified self, it was all we could do just to hold him off. Dad couldn't even fight anymore, but even he gave us some kind of advantage."

"How?" Pan asked.

"He had already collected a lot of energy from the Earth with the hope of creating a Spirit Bomb, but he'd never got a chance to use it. He gave the energy to Krillin, and when the ball of energy missed, it fell to me to bounce it back and hopefully hit our target.

"I didn't know if it would work. I was almost positive it would sear right through me until I was nothing but dust. Instead I deflected the bomb and it flew straight at Vegeta. Hit him head-on. And when he fell to the ground and stayed there, we thought it was over.

"But he got back up. Saiyan endurance. Somehow he was _still_ able to fight even after taking a hit like that. But he didn't get far. The fake moon he'd made turned out to be our salvation. And I don't remember why I got my tail back, but I turned Oozaru and attacked that Saiyan with the kind of senseless violence only our most primal form can inspire. He cut off my tail, and I landed on top of him, losing consciousness but managing to crush him nonetheless, winning the day in the action of falling."

"And then what happened?" Goten asked.

"I was unconscious. I didn't see what happened. But I remember Krillin filling me in later when I was in the hospital with him and Dad. He said Vegeta tried to run away, calling his space pod with some kind of device. And Krillin wasn't about to let him go so easily. He threatened to kill him, and I think he would have without blinking if Dad hadn't intervened."

"Dad saved Mom?" Kísta asked.

"That's right. I'm not entirely sure why... it's a mystery, how his mind works. Most everyone thought Dad was an battle-hungry idiot who just wanted to fight him again and test his strength, but I don't think that was it. I think he saw something in Vegeta. Something worth saving. I think he saw a piece of himself, in the last breathing member of his old race that had all but died out. And maybe he hoped somewhere deep down that Vegeta would become our ally someday. I guess his intuition was right, or none of you would be here now."

I smiled, knowing the story was over. It was always fascinating to listen to my parents' shared past. It was interesting when they spoke of it, but it was amazing when Gohan did. He just had a way with words that caught the attention of listeners and held it.

I hoped someday I'd have that ability too.

X

Algebra is hell. Actually, scratch that, school is hell. Veito's lucky. He has tutors that come to his house and teach him and he doesn't even have to leave home to go to school. I asked Dad about it once, and he said Veito couldn't go because he could have an attack during the day and no one would know what to do. So Veito gets to stay home with his parents and study, instead of forcing himself to at least remotely fit in in a place full of ignorant humans that look at him like some kind of odd bug with lots of antennae. That's what they do to _me._

Anyway. The day seemed to drag by, and I was already sore from sparring with my mother and Trunks yesterday. I'd gotten a black eye from the older of the two, and it hadn't faded today. Oh well. So what if I got strange looks because I look like I got hit with a sledgehammer in the face? At least I'd managed to elicit a proud smile from my birth parent. One of the few I'd seen from him. And I'd managed to let out some of my frustration during the physical exercise that made my muscles sing with adrenaline and made my mind quiet itself. There was something about battle that I just loved. I guess that's because I'm Saiyan.

I had to see the social worker today. Something about showing up to school with bruises that looked like I'd lost a fight with a gang. I muttered my excuses and left to return to class, though I'd get no relief from the questions and nervous glances there.

Somewhere between trying to solve for _x_ and trying not to literally kill half my team in volleyball, I thought about Gohan's story. Of course I'd heard it tons of times, but it made me wonder... What if I'd grown up the way he had? What if I'd faced those hardships and fought those battles? I would be a very different person. But hell, I barely knew who I was right now. I was just starting to figure it out, and judging from the fact that even my father had admitted he wasn't sure who he really was, I had a long way to go.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

_((BTW, one X means time-skip, three X's means perspective switch_

_Just thought you'd like to know. _

_This chapter's really long._

_-Shinsun))_

Going Gold

Chapter 4

**Vegeta**

There were parent-teacher conferences at Tess's school today. He got the day off, so he must have been thrilled, but I faced it about as enthusiastically as I would an execution. Idiot humans. Idiotic questions. Idiocy all around.

But I couldn't ask Kakarot to go in my stead. He had enough to do without subbing in where I was supposed to just suck it up and go. Whatever.

All I really remember was that I was bored out of my skull, and that one of the idiot humans said they'd be sending a social worker to my house soon. At that I stopped cold. Someone I didn't know... _in_ my house? Asking me questions and gaining advantages I didn't want to give them? Why?

Of course I knew why. Something had happened and they had to investigate to make sure it wasn't serious. But _what _had happened? Had Tess gotten in a fight? Was he being bullied by the other kids? Gods, for the first time ever I wished I had gone to some kind of schooling in my youth; then I'd at least have some experience in this regard. I had no idea what I was doing and it was hard to pretend I did.

X

A few days went by and the alleged "social worker" showed up. It was a middle-aged woman with boring brown hair tied back in a bun and boring brown eyes. I almost slammed the door right in her face, just to see how she reacted, but I suppose it was in my best interests that I played along with whatever she'd come for. So I let her in, despite my reluctance. I knew Kakarot wasn't far away; he was upstairs where Veito was studying with his math tutor. Tess was at school and Kísta was sleeping, so I had no barrier between myself and this human woman. No one to deflect any assumptions she decided to throw at me. Alright, I was socially awkward, but I didn't like this woman and I wasn't about to pretend otherwise.

I didn't catch her name, and I doubt I would have remembered it anyway. I introduced myself as well, though wishing I could just shoot a ki blast at her and be done with it. I feigned politeness; knowing what these social worker people were and what they could do upon asking Bulma about it earlier.

She asked me a couple of dumb questions, like how long I'd lived here and how long Tess had been in school. I knew this was about Tess, but some of her questions didn't even seem related to him at all. The woman took a seat eventually without being invited, and I was tempted to tell her to get off my couch, but I held my tongue and remained standing for whatever height advantage it would give.

Then she asked something I wished she wouldn't.

"Can I speak to Tess's mother, please?"

Just as I thought. She assumed I was the boy's father. I contemplated lying, but I wasn't sure how far that would get me, and the truth wouldn't hurt anything... I hoped.

"You already are." I muttered.

"What?" Now she was confused, it was gratifying to see that haughty I'm-better-than-you look leave her face, "What do you mean?"

"I am Tesserot's birth parent. I suggest you don't question it, or I'll bring his father in here to explain it more _thoroughly._"

She still seemed beyond perplexed. Stupid humans. Couldn't see past their own skinny noses to save their lives.

"Well... alright then," I could tell she didn't believe me, but I didn't care, "I just wanted to ask about something."

"What." I said the word like a command instead of a question.

"Sometimes Tess shows up to school with bruises and cuts all over him. Do you know anything about that?"

I shrugged, "He's exuberant, and he jumps in with both feet without thinking sometimes."

She said something else, but I barely listened, and I only caught the end of her statement.

"...I'm sure I don't have to explain the seriousness of child abuse to you..."

I snapped to attention, startled, "What are you talking about?"

She looked at me sideways, in an almost calculating way that made me wish I hadn't sounded so frantic. But deep down, I was.

"Has Tess's father ever... punished him with physical contact?"

"No! Of course not!" I was slightly shocked she would even suggest that.

"Have you?"

"I would _never_ -!"

"Mr. Vegeta, I've seen a few cases of children being beaten by their parent or parents as a form of punishment, I just need to be sure."

I struggled to rein in my panic, but this wasn't going anywhere good.

"Well then be sure of this. Never in my life would I raise a hand against any of my children, and I can assure you Kakarot is no different. Tess is perfectly safe where he is."

"I'm just supposed to take your word for it?" she sounded doubtful.

"Are you implying I would _lie?_" I snarled.

She waved me down in a placating way, "Sometimes the victim or mother can be threatened into silence, and this is a very serious issue with young teens..."

"Kakarot is a good father to Tess," I said with conviction, "I don't think he's ever even raised his voice at him before -"

"You _think_ or you _know_?" she said sleekly.

I swallowed a growl, "I _know._ This is ridiculous, why would anyone even _think_ to -?"

There was a moment of silence after I cut myself off.

"I don't usually get involved with the students' personal lives anymore than I need to, but I suppose I have an obligation to tell you what I've heard."

"What? What happened?" Why would she even...? I couldn't fathom it.

"Tesserot had a black eye the other day, and when asked about it he said he'd been punched."

I remembered the sparring session I'd had with my son a few days ago. I remembered a rather hard hit he'd taken to the face, and I remember how proud I'd been that he hadn't backed down after that.

I winced. I couldn't deny that Tess had taken a punch, but it wasn't what the woman thought it was.

"That's not... it's different, he was _sparring..."_

"'Sparring?'"

"Training. Martial arts. It's not _real_ fighting." I said desperately, just trying to explain to a human what only Saiyans could understand.

"The black eye was real enough," she said easily.

I stopped with my mouth ajar, trying to find a comeback for that. Any justification. My hesitation might have made this worse, but I forced myself to speak anyway.

"It-it's something we do as a _family_." I implored, "How could that possibly be abusive? Ask his brothers, ask Kakarot, ask Tess himself; it's just for _fun._"

"How many brothers does Tess have?" she completely changed the subject. I was confused; what was she playing at?

"Four. And a sister." I said bluntly.

"Are any of them in school with Tesserot?"

"No. The eldest three are adults, Kísta is only a baby, and Veito... is home-schooled."

It took me a second to realize I'd divulged _way_ too much information that she didn't need to know.

"Why's that?"

"Are we still talking about an accusation of child abuse here?" I shot back.

"Please don't avoid the question." she said smoothly, with a kind of practiced ease that freaked me out.

"Veito has... _special needs _that keep him from attending regular school," I said through gritted teeth.

"How so?"

"That is none of your concern," now she was digging too deep, "Have you finished interrogating me about my children yet?"

"Mr. Vegeta, we are only trying to help."

"There's no need for your help here. Nothing's wrong."

There was another long moment of unbroken silence.

"Do you think I could ask Tesserot's father a few things?"

I suppressed a snarl and forced out nonchalance, "Be my guest." _'Kakarot, come down here please.'_

A few minutes passed and Kakarot came downstairs, pausing on the bottom step to survey the company, tail flicking slowly.

_'Who's she?'_ he asked.

_'A social worker from Tess's school. She asked to talk to you.'_

I was glad humans couldn't read minds, and even more glad that Kakarot and I could communicate telepathically.

Kakarot moved his bangs out of his face with one hand and sat down across from the woman. I forced myself to join him, missing my height advantage.

"You are Tesserot's father?" the woman asked.

"That's right." Kakarot nodded.

"And... Vegeta... is his _mother?"_

I rolled my eyes impatiently, "We've established that. Do you want to ask Kakarot your questions or not?"

_'Relax, Vegeta.'_ Kakarot soothed, '_It's a little hard to understand, you can't ask her to suddenly be on board with it.'_

He looked at the woman across from him, and I felt him quash a surge of the dislike that he felt towards her. At least I wasn't alone there.

"Yes, Vegeta is Tesserot's 'mother', if you would."

The woman's penciled eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

"I still don't... how is that possible?"

My frustration peaked and I snarled, "How could I _not _be? Kakarot gave the component for life, I carried the child for eight months, I -!"

"Hush." Kakarot said gently, "You're overreacting, Vegeta. It's fine; you've done nothing wrong."

'_You don't have to prove yourself to this woman, she's not important. Just give her the information she wants and she'll leave, okay?'_

I nodded and Kakarot turned back to the social worker woman.

"So why did you want to talk to me?"

She looked slightly unnerved.

"I just wanted to meet Tess's parents because of some concern for his wellbeing at school."

"'Concern for his wellbeing'?" Kakarot quoted, "Why? What happened?"

I couldn't silence a low growl, '_She thinks we've been abusing Tess because he shows up to school with bruises sometimes.'_

"Mr... 'Kakarot', is it?" the woman prompted.

"Goku." Kakarot corrected. He only ever let me call him Kakarot anymore, and I think it's pretty obvious why.

"I see," the woman mumbled, "Mr. Goku, I'm not _accusing_ anyone of anything. I'm only here to make sure Tess is safe and happy here."

"Well then why don't you just ask _him?_" Kakarot asked, sounding confused.

"The word of a child can be somewhat unreliable. Kids, especially young kids, tend to exaggerate to get attention."

"Tess isn't a young kid anymore, he's almost fourteen." Kakarot protested. He kept up his calm mask, but inside he was irritated.

"Please, just bear with me. Would you mind answering a few questions?" the woman asked, tapping a pen against the clipboard in her lap. I hadn't noticed it before. Had she been _writing all this down_?

Kakarot set his teeth and said shortly, "Fine."

"Where does Tess sleep?"

"Upstairs," Kakarot answered, "In the second bedroom," he gestured with a hand to the room Tess shared with Veito. It used to be Goten and Trunks's room, but since they'd moved to their apartment in West City and Kísta needed the nursery, the two boys had been moved there.

"And where do... you two sleep?"

I couldn't guess where she was going with this, and I sighed.

"Down the hall from the boys' room," Kakarot said smoothly, again gesturing.

"Why do you ask?" I queried, confused and wary.

"Does Tess ever mention... hearing noises?"

Instantly I understood and I shot to my feet with a snarl.

"Are you suggesting we'd -?" I shouted, furious.

"Vegeta, calm down." Kakarot said.

"No! This... this... _woman_ is suggesting we'd just... _expose_ Tesserot to... I won't stand for it! What the _hell_ do you think we are?"

Unless I was mistaken, and I doubted I was, the woman was suggesting Tesserot could hear when Kakarot and I made love. And she must have thought us perverts who didn't care if their kids heard such things. The only times my mate and I even... did that... the kids would be out of the house or we'd go somewhere else. Or force ourselves to be quiet, which had resulted in some lip-bleeding from biting them to keep silent.

"Does Tesserot know... what you do together?" the woman asked as I sat down slowly. She was scribbling things with that pen of hers, and I cursed that I couldn't read her handwriting upside-down from here.

"He knows about as much about our personal life as any child would about their parents'," Kakarot said steadily. I could tell he was offended too, but he kept in control.

"Do you express affection in his presence?" the social worker went on.

Kakarot's eyebrows furrowed, perplexed, "Well sure, Tess can read body language and he's seen us kiss once or twice, but..."

"Does he spend any time around girls?" complete change of subject, again.

"Yeah," Kakarot said, still confused, "He goes to Bulma's sometimes and visits Gohan and Videl. And his sister and niece are around a lot."

"Niece?" the woman asked, perking with interest, pen poised over the paper.

Kakarot nodded simply, "My granddaughter Pan."

"_Granddaughter?_" Now she sounded disbelieving.

"Uh... yeah..." Kakarot said slowly.

"But... neither of you even looks middle-aged!" she objected, "How old is your granddaughter?"

"She'll be five next week," Kakarot said.

The woman's ugly brown eyes narrowed, "I see." She scribbled something else, and I wanted to slap her.

"Has Tess ever had a girlfriend?" she went on without looking up.

Kakarot looked puzzled, "No, why?"

"Have you ever talked to him about dating?"

"A little bit," my mate's tail twitched with confusion, "And I'm sure he picks up a lot of information at school about that."

Realization slapped through me and I burst out, "Wait. Do you think because both his parents are men that he's... _pressured_ into being gay? That's just... that's preposterous!"

If we both weren't male, she probably wouldn't have even asked about Tess hearing noises or spending time around girls. _Stupid fucking homophobic humans!_ They were _so_ stuck on stereotypes, it was sickening.

"That's not what I'm asking," the woman said, "I just want to know about his social life."

Lies. Facades. Deceit. She thought she was _so_ clever. I wanted to hurt her.

"How is Tesserot disciplined?" the woman asked, changing the subject _again_, "When he does something wrong, how do you reprimand him?"

Kakarot shrugged, "Tell him what he did wrong and send him to his room, usually. He's been grounded a few times when he misbehaved, but that's about it. He's a good kid."

"Has he been spanked before?"

Kakarot blinked rapidly, "No."

"Not once?"

He shook his head, "Never."

"Does he respect you?"

"I'm... not sure what you're asking..." Kakarot said slowly.

"Does he ever refuse to do something or talk back?"

Kakarot laughed to try and diffuse the tension, but it came out like a sigh.

"Well, he's a teenager, so of course he's tested boundaries before."

"And...?" the woman prompted.

Kakarot tilted his head, "And what? What more is there to say? He knows who's in charge and he tries hard to behave himself, that's all that matters."

"Where did the bruises and cuts come from?" the woman snapped, rather suddenly and sharply, as if she'd lost her patience.

"Wh-what?" Kakarot stammered.

"You heard." the woman said, "Has he been purposely injuring himself, or is your idea of discipline not as justified as you claim?"

I heard a growl rumble in Kakarot's throat, "Are you threatening me?"

"Not at all, just answer the question." the woman said too quickly.

"Training, mostly." Kakarot said with controlled calmness, "He's pretty tough, and he can handle a couple of bruises."

"And neither of you have ever struck him?"

"No." I said instantly.

Kakarot hesitated, "Well..."

"Kakarot..." I said warningly.

"You can't spar without some physical contact," he said, "But I've never _hurt_ him. His brothers can be a little rough, but he just shakes it off and jumps back in."

_Damn your honesty, Kakarot._ I was glad he wasn't listening when I thought that. I doubt he would have liked it.

"What do you mean when you say 'spar'?" the social worker asked.

"It's just for fun." Kakarot said, "We practice moves and see who's stronger and how much we've improved."

The woman looked accusing.

"I could be wrong, but it sounds like you're saying you actually _fight_ for _fun._"

Kakarot looked confused again, "Well... yeah. We do."

"You _do?_" the woman sounded shocked.

"Sure. Never for real, though. I haven't actually fought for my life in over fifteen years."

"'Fought for your _life_?'" the woman echoed, "What are you _talking _about?"

"You know," Kakarot said, as if she were missing something, "Against an actual bad guy."

_Kakarot, please just shut up while you're still in a gray area,_ I pleaded silently, knowing he wouldn't hear this time.

_'She doesn't know what you're talking about, Kakarot,' _I said exasperatedly, _'Think human, not Saiyan.'_

_'But... that's about as human as I can put it. What else could I say?'_ he asked.

There was a long stretch of silence.

The woman got to her feet after a while, "Thank you for answering my questions. I'll contact you after this is sorted out with DCFS," she said, "Goodbye."

Kakarot and I muttered our farewells, and I wanted to throttle that woman as she left.

XXX

**Tesserot**

I had never heard my mom and dad fight before. I don't think I've ever even heard them argue, but when I came home from school that day, they were full-on shouting at each other.

I stayed in the foyer so I could listen in, knowing it was rude to eavesdrop but still curious and a little startled.

"...You're such an _idiot_, Kakarot! I thought you were smarter now!" was my mother's enraged shout.

"I am!" Dad shouted back, "What did I do wrong?"

"Because of you that woman thinks everything we _don't_ want her to think!" my _tӫtka _retorted, "Why did you have to be so fucking _honest?_"

"Was I supposed to lie?" Dad yelled, "I thought you said she was here to ask me questions!"

My mom's voice dropped a few decibels, and his tone was biting, but colored with desperation.

"You don't _get_ it do you?" he said icily, "That woman has power, Kakarot. And neither of us will be able to stop her if she decides to do something about this situation."

"What could she possibly do?"

"Use your head, Kakarot!" he was back to shouting again, but the desperate tone remained, "If those people think Tesserot's living conditions are anything less than satisfactory, they will _take him away!"_

I heard the panicked tears in those last three words, in the shuddering breath my mother drew; and it cut me deep. I had never heard him cry before.

And I wondered if I would have been any better off if I hadn't heard that argument. I wondered if I would have felt better if I hadn't decided to listen in.

I wondered if ignorance truly was bliss.

Probably.

TBC

_((I had a little incident with DCFS a while ago, and I thought it would be interesting to put it in here. Gods, im so mean to my characters. Some of them aren't even MINE._

_Thanks for the reviews, as always._

_-Shinsun))_


	5. Chapter 5

Going Gold

Chapter 5

**Vegeta**

I felt the tears pricking my eyes, but I didn't try to stop them. Kakarot was still looking at me with some mixture of frustration and confusion. He was still infuriated, because I'd been. He had a hard time calming down when his emotions got up, and I don't think he'd grasped the seriousness of the situation yet. Beneath my anger, I was terrified; but I focused on the simpler, easier emotion first before letting out the latter. It was easy for me to be angry, I was familiar with that. Terror was something I didn't want to face, and certainly not desperation. Not yet.

"Kakarot, do you even understand what I'm telling you?" I snarled.

He started to say something, then stopped, grit his teeth and shouted, "How was I supposed to _know?_ You didn't _tell _me what I could and couldn't say, how could I fucking know?"

"Have an ounce of common sense, for the gods' sakes!" I screamed, "You left yourself wide open back there... I was _ashamed_ of you!"

I didn't even see him move, but I heard a crack and felt splintering pain splash across the bridge of my nose.

My mate had punched me in the face.

Sucking in a breath and swallowing the pain, I gingerly felt my nose and found it broken; I looked at my hand and it came away bloody.

I looked up at Kakarot; he was shaking slightly, shock and lingering anger etched on his face.

"Vegeta," he whispered, "I... I'm sorry..."

"Kakarot," I began.  
"I didn't mean to," he pleaded. And I could hear the frantic thoughts racing in his head. _'You hurt him. You swore you wouldn't, but you hurt him. You fucking broke his nose. You'd be better off if he hated you, and so would he.'_

"I don't _hate_ you Kakarot, I could never hate you." I said, stemming the flow of blood from my nose with one hand, "I just..."

He sighed, "I know. You were scared, and I let my emotions run away with me again. At least you had _reason_ to be angry."

My son. Those filthy imbecilic humans might take my son away from me. I wouldn't allow it... they weren't going to lay a _finger_ on him.

"I won't let something this _stupid_ tear our family apart," I growled through the blood dripping into my mouth, "Not after we've worked so hard to keep it together."

"You need a senzu," Kakarot said quickly, vanishing for a moment. For all of three seconds I was alone with my thoughts, and those three seconds were terrible.

My mate reappeared and handed me a senzu bean. I chewed it slowly, thinking hard. These days, my family was all that mattered to me in the universe. I'm not sure when that became true, but they were my whole world now. My five amazing sons, my sweet little girl, my spunky granddaughter, and my beautiful mate. I couldn't imagine being without any of them.

The senzu worked its magic, and I felt the pain leave me as the cartilage in my nose rearranged itself.

I noticed Kakarot's eyes were still downcast and he was wrestling with himself, hating himself with a vigor I hadn't known he possessed.

"Kakarot," he either didn't hear me or didn't want to respond, "Kakarot, _shi-kḁdria, _look at me."

His gaze lifted to meet mine as I called him by the Saiyan word for love.

"Look at me," I repeated, "I'm fine. No harm done, okay?"

"They're not going to take him away," I heard him growl, "I won't let them. I'll break their stupid necks if I have to, but they aren't getting near my son."

I could feel the intense protectiveness he was radiating, and despite myself, I smiled a little. What chance did a bunch of pitiful humans stand against that kind of dedication? Kakarot was untouchable, and nothing they could say or do would change that.

I shook my head slowly in amazement, "Gods, I love you," I said simply.

XXX

**Tesserot**

Everything was a blur. Anger, shock and despair warred in me violently as I sped through the sky with a speed only my wild emotions could create. Someone was going to come and take me away. I didn't know why, but I knew _Tӫtka _blamed my dad.

"_Because of you that woman thinks everything we _don't_ want her to think!"_

I remembered his words from before, and I'd left once I heard him say they might take me away. I didn't want to hear any more.

I didn't know where I was going, only that my energy was not about to stop or even slow down. It was like fire, this rage, running through my veins and filling me to the brim. I wanted to hurt something, I wanted to _kill _something. I found myself in front of Capsule Corp, and I had no idea how I'd gotten there.

My eyes landed on the huge metal sphere behind the house. The gravity chamber.

I'd never been inside before, but I wasn't thinking clearly. All I wanted was to find some kind of outlet for my emotions. Inside the chamber, everything was clean and sleek. A dull humming filled the air as I switched on the lights. The floor was cracked here and there and one or two tiles were missing. There was a huge singe mark on the wall and one of the railings was busted, there was a dent in the ceiling and the control panel was a bit smashed. Whoever had used this place last had really messed it up. I inhaled slowly, sorting the scents as my emotions were bottled for a moment. Cleaning fluid, metal, dust, lingering sweat and blood, and a twined combination of identity-scents, clearly Saiyan. One icy and sharp, one fiery and smoky. My parents. I wondered when they had been here; how long ago, and how high they had set the gravity.

I walked over to the control panel, tilting my head to try and figure out the buttons. I'd never been much of a tech savvy, that was my little brother's job. There was a little blinking light on a small screen that read _1G._ Experimentally, I pushed a button and the number changed, _2Gs._ I felt a slight difference in the gravity around me, not enough to tip me over, but it weighed me down. I pushed the button again a few times, and stopped when I reached _10Gs._ The gravity chamber hummed as it adjusted, and abruptly, the air shifted and I sank to one knee with a startled yelp. Everything felt heavy and pressured, as if I was being squeezed by a vise. I drew on my frustration, my anger, my panic, and turned them into a fierce determination that lent me strength. Slowly, I stood, shaking from the effort, and kept my tail parallel to the ground to balance me.

Now _here_ was a challenge. Here was an outlet. No wonder my parents had used this room.

I tentatively raised one foot and took a step. My legs protested and trembled a little, but I soon adjusted and was able to walk into the center of the room. I closed my eyes and concentrated, laying all my emotions out in front of me.

_Someone is going to take me away._ That thought alone gave me a sudden burst of anger which I released in a punch at an invisible foe, slashing with one leg and dropping to a crouch in a slow, but fierce kata. Sweat pricked my forehead, but I kept moving.

_Someone is going to take me away._ The thought triggered something else this time. A wild surge of fear that gave me chills, and I vented that out the same way, attacking a nonexistent opponent violently, my eyes still squeezed shut. I leapt into the air, lashing out with all five limbs, including my tail, and landing lightly on one foot. 10 times gravity was a piece of cake.

I expelled a breath and glanced at the control panel. _Why not?_

I changed the controls to _20Gs_, and this time I reveled in the strain tugging on my muscles and the sweat beading on my skin. I'd already progressed from when I stepped into the chamber fifteen minutes ago, and judging from how high the controls went up to, this was just the beginning.

X

I opened my eyes groggily. Every inch of me hurt, like someone had dropped a house on me. I was surprised to find myself in a real bed, and I glanced around. This was Trunks's old room at Capsule Corp, where he used to live before Mom and Dad had gotten together nearly fourteen years ago. Now it was the guest bedroom, and it was rarely used. How did I get here?

As if in answer to the question, the door opened and Trunks walked in. He blinked at me twice with his unique blue eyes - he was the only one in our family that didn't have black eyes – his lavender bangs shadowing his gaze.

"Ah, you're awake," he said, stepping inside the room and setting something on the nightstand next to me. I glanced at it and saw that he'd brought me a bowl of soup. At his invitation, I ate some of it. I was starving and the warm broth tasted so good I almost passed out.

"That was quite the stunt, little brother." Trunks said eventually.

"What?" I asked with my mouth full of noodles.

"Not even Dad could handle the gravity at 100 times Earth's until he trained for a long time to get there."

I winced. I'd forgotten I'd taken it that far, but it only took half a second at _100Gs_ to knock me flat on my back, and I must have lost consciousness out of shock.

Then something about Trunks's statement sunk in.

"Your dad or my dad?" it was always hard to tell which of the two he was referring to.

"Both, actually."

I thought about this as I spooned soup into my mouth. Both of my parents had made it that far, but I assumed they'd been adults when they did. I knew Mom could handle almost 500 times gravity, and I bet my dad wasn't far behind, if at all. I couldn't remember why I'd been so reckless to set the gravity so high... I was past caring about my own safety then.

"And you got me out of there?" I asked.

"Yes. I felt your ki flicker when you passed out and I shut the machine off. Figured you'd rather wake up in a bed than on the floor."

"Thanks," I muttered, looking at my distorted reflection in the dregs of broth left in the bowl I held. At least my emotions were calmer now, but a worm of worry still nagged at my mind, and I knew it could turn back into chaos without too much prompting. Why were my emotions – especially anger and fear – so hard to control? No one else seemed to have that problem...

"Trunks," I began, looking up at the demi in front of me.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"You became a Super Saiyan before you were nine years old, right?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"How?"

He shrugged, "I'm not sure. Somehow it just... happened. My dad was pretty shocked when he saw me transform the first time; I think mostly because he, Goku and Gohan had to struggle really hard to ascend. Him especially. And I think he was ticked off that Goten and I could transform so easily."

"Why? Why was it so easy for you?"

"I think it's because Goten and I are demi-Saiyans. Gohan is too, but instead of reaching Super really quickly, he was able to push it even further. He reached the second level first out of all of us, and for a time, he was even stronger than your father. And then of course he became Mystic, and Goten and I can go Super Saiyan three when we fuse... But all that power comes with a price."

I waited for him to continue, and he sat on the edge of the bed, looking me in the eye.

"The amount of energy in our bodies burns really bright, but it doesn't last long. Eventually it burns out, and so do we. Because we're half-human, the energy eats up our life force and shortens our lifespans. I doubt Gohan could even reach Super Saiyan now without a struggle, and Goten and I haven't fused in over a decade. It would just be too much strain."

"What do you mean?"

"Full-blooded Saiyans like you and Dad can live for centuries at best, but demis like Goten and me don't live much longer than humans... maybe shorter, I don't know."

He was silent for a moment.

"So don't be in a rush to ascend. You'll get there, especially with your determination. And you'll have a long time to enjoy it, just like your mom and dad."

"What about you?" I set the soup bowl back on the nightstand and looked at him. Suddenly I noticed how worn out he looked, like he'd lived far longer than his age of twenty-some. He still thrummed with strength and energy, but the high point of his life had passed and his youth was dwindling. I bet Goten and Gohan were no better off.

He cracked a smile, "I can't change it. I might as well enjoy what I have while I have it. And I've got a few more years of sparring and beating you and your brother into the ground ahead of me before I retire from that."

I noticed something I hadn't before right then. I hadn't seen Gohan fight since I was little. I thought he'd just grown bored of it, it hadn't occurred to me that he _couldn't_ keep up with us anymore. Now he was content just to watch, and he told stories of the past as if he were an elder. It hadn't scared me before, but it did now. I didn't like to think of my brothers as old.

My parents were almost in their sixties, but they still looked like they were in the prime of youth and they fought like teenagers. What if they actually _did_ live for centuries? They'd outlive nearly all of their friends and half of their children. It was a step short of being immortal, and I wondered how they slept at night, knowing they would have to watch almost all of their friends die before they even saw a gray hair.

And then I realized that _I_ would outlive _them_ too.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Going Gold

Chapter 6

**Vegeta**

Tesserot was damn lucky. He was lucky he hadn't been grounded for life for scaring me like that, he was lucky his brother had stepped in when he had, and he was lucky to even be alive. Foolish boy; trying to train at 100 times Earth's gravity with no prior experience whatsoever. It was all I could do to keep from shouting at him, telling him in great detail how horrifying the injuries could be if the body was subjugated to that much strain so quickly. But more than anything, I was relieved. And I thanked the gods a hundred times as I brought him home from Capsule Corp that he was okay.

X

Later that night, I lay down next to Kakarot, and was a little surprised that he didn't acknowledge me. His gaze was fixed on the opposite wall and his tail was curling and uncurling slowly. I tried to read his expression, but his face was turned away from me.

_'Kakarot?'_ I asked in my mind tentatively.

I counted the seconds until he responded, and I got into the double digits before I heard him mutter, _'What is it?'_

_'Are you alright?'_

He turned to face me at last, and there was some kind of emotion in his eyes that I couldn't decipher. I could sense that he was conflicted though, and I braced myself for a long night.

"Vegeta... are you... are we...?" he began uncertainly, as if unsure what he wanted to ask, "Is this okay?"

"'This' being what?" I asked, confused.

He made an all-encompassing gesture with one hand, "This. The way we are. Everything."

My eyebrows furrowed perplexedly, "Why do you ask?" I couldn't guess his motive right now, and I wasn't even sure if what he'd asked made any sense.

He sighed and sat up, running his fingers frustratedly through his hair, "Sometimes... I think... I wonder..."

I waited for him to sort his thoughts and emotions. I didn't know where this was coming from, or what had caused him to think this way suddenly. It had been a while since he brought up the serious topics out of nowhere in the middle of the night, but I would be lying to say it hadn't happened before.

"Are you... are you mad at me?" my mate asked eventually.

I blinked, sitting up as well. I was about to ask incredulously if he was kidding, but I realized that would sound mocking coming from me.

"No, of course not. Why would I be?"

His gaze dropped to his lap, "I would be, if I were you," he said quietly.

"Well you are not me," I said, "What would make you think I would be mad at you?"

"I just..." his tail flicked once as he thought of how to put what he was going to say, "I'm not... I always get so worked up over everything. Like today, I was so stupid, but even though you were a hundred percent right and I was at fault, I shouted at you just as loudly and punched you in the face... I can't believe I did that."

There was a slight shake in his voice at that last part, and I thought at first that it was a grim laugh, but then I read his emotions and realized he was fighting back tears.

I was just figuring out what I was going to say, but he interrupted me before I could.

"And then," he said, "I remembered a few years ago, after Veito was born... when we were making love and you wanted to take control. I just... I got so freaked out, and I didn't let it show but I would have attacked you if you'd gone through with it. And I just... gods, I'm such an idiot..."

"And why should I be mad at you for any of that?" I asked, "That's who you are, Kakarot, you can't help it; and I wouldn't change it for the world. How can you still doubt yourself – doubt _us_ – after thirteen years?"

"I don't know," he sighed dejectedly, "Sometimes I just think you'd be better off if I wasn't... if I didn't... if..."

"Kakarot, what's this really about?" I asked steadily, lifting his chin with my hand to look into his eyes.

"I was thinking about... that social worker that came today..." he said slowly, "And I thought... maybe she's right." I started to protest and he cut me off, "There was something she said... She asked if Tesserot knew what we did together... if we expressed affection in his presence. It didn't bother me too much at the time, but then I _thought_ about it... and there's just n-"

I broke in before he could finish that sentence, "Are you questioning whether or not I love you, Kakarot? Whether or not it _shows?_ Gods, I can't even... every time I look at you my heart races, I'd do anything to get you to smile, and when you kiss me I feel like I'm flying... I'd die for you, and I'd die if you weren't there with me... If that's not love I don't know what is."

Throughout this Kakarot was shaking his head slowly.

"I'm not questioning that," he said quietly, "I'm not questioning whether you love me. I... I'm questioning whether _I_ love _you._"

My heart stopped dead.

In fact, for a moment I wondered if it would ever start again, and I wondered how long a person could live if their heart was inactive like that.

He started to say something else, but I interrupted, and I was shocked at how desperate my voice sounded.

"Kakarot, don't..." I implored, I inhaled and it sounded sharp, too sharp, "Don't do this."

_Gods, after all these years... what if he...? No... it's not possible, he _has_ to love me back... _

I simply couldn't accept anything else. If Kakarot didn't... I couldn't even finish that thought. How could he even _think_ that?

"It just..." he began slowly, and I could hear a tone in his voice that sounded like something between confusion and pain, "...it's different... for you... And I just wonder... is there something I'm just not getting? Is there something wrong with me... that... no matter how much I have it's not enough?"

I couldn't speak at all. It was as if my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth and my throat was ripped out. And I barely heard what he said, I didn't want to listen for fear of hearing the worst.

"At first I thought it was an addiction, that I needed and wanted you so much that I couldn't get enough... but then, just recently I asked myself... what if it's not? What if I can't get enough of you because you can't give enough?"

I felt like I'd been punched in the chest, or that someone had smashed my heart with something ungodly heavy.

"Kakarot," my voice didn't even sound like my own, and I doubted I could say more than that. My mouth felt like it was full of sand. I tried to speak in my mind, but I realized with horror that he'd blocked his off from me.

"And then I asked..." Kakarot murmured, "What if these last thirteen years were just a mistake? What if none of this was meant to happen? What if I don't actually love you at all?"

I started to protest, and he was getting to his feet, looking down at me with something near contempt.

"You know what?" he said, "I think I was right. I _don't _love you."

Then the worst possible thing happened. He laughed.

"Gods, I messed up. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now. You actually did love me didn't you?"

I stammered something incoherent as he turned away, trying to plead with him not to say this, to tell me he was joking, to apologize and promise he still loved me.

"Goodbye, Vegeta." he muttered, walking away. I couldn't react, I felt completely numb, and I had a dim perception that I was going into shock.

The door shut behind him, and a second of silence fell.

Then it all caught up to me and I burst into tears, screaming my internal torment and feeling a gaping hole rip its way into my chest where my dead heart should be.

I screamed Kakarot's name desperately, and felt a hand shake me awake.

X

"Vegeta, wake up!" I barely heard the voice of my mate as he shook me, "Vegeta, you're scaring me!"

I opened my eyes and inhaled as if I'd been drowned alive, my vision wouldn't focus, and it took me a second to realize my eyes were completely filled with tears and I couldn't see past them as they poured down my face.

"Good gods, Vegeta," Kakarot exhaled, looking at me concernedly. Somehow I couldn't convince myself he was sincere. Something in my mind just insisted the dream was real and he despised me.

"What happened?" Kakarot asked, studying my eyes nervously. I blinked away the lingering tears and almost shied away from him as he traced a hand down my jawline gently.

"That..." I panted, still out of breath. My throat was raw from screaming, and I realized I must have actually been crying out in my sleep, "...Was the mother of all nightmares."

I kept telling myself it had been a dream. I _knew_ it had been a dream. But half of me was dead-certain that it was real and Kakarot wasn't really there and I was just kidding myself. My chest still hurt, right where my heart was, so I had a hard time convincing myself otherwise.

Tears pricked my eyes again as memories of the dream came back, and I was conscious that I was trembling slightly.

Kakarot looked at me for a long time, and then hugged me to his chest, murmuring soothingly and running one hand through my hair.

"It's okay," he whispered, "I promise, it's alright... whatever it was, it's not real."

I breathed his scent in slowly, coughing on the breath as it left me, still shaking with tears.

"My gods, this has really got you worked up," he muttered, brushing his satin tail against my cheek, "What in the galaxies was it?"

I sobbed something meaningless and buried my face against his chest, gripping his shirt to make sure he was still there. I could hear his heartbeat near my cheek and feel his body heat, but something still told me it was an illusion.

"Vegeta," Kakarot murmured sadly, stroking a hand down my back, "_Shi-kḁdria,_ what happened? I don't think I've ever seen you this upset before."

I said something into his shirt, and he tipped my head up gently to meet my eye, asking silently.

"I said you left me," I clarified shakily, feeling even more tears well up but unable to find the strength to keep them at bay, "You were... you said you d-didn't love me. You just _walked away._"

I could feel the presence of his mind in my head, as he carefully sifted through my memories to see for himself. He was very light with this mental touch, leaving no influence and not disturbing anything in my thoughts.

His eyes met mine, and I could see they were unnaturally bright, as if he were on the verge of tears as well. Much of the distraught panic had faded from me, but there was still an ache in my chest that I couldn't force away.

"Vegeta, listen to me." Kakarot said steadily, "No matter what happens, no matter what you say or do, you could _never_ make me stop loving you. Want to test that out? Go ahead, blow up a planet, wipe out the human race, threaten me with death or worse, tell me _you_ don't love _me._ I would be upset, I would be heartbroken and I'd try to convince you otherwise; I'd probably destroy the Earth in my anguished rage. But I'd still love you. There isn't a force in this universe or the next that could change that. You were made for me."

I kept reminding myself to breathe, to keep calm and keep inhaling and exhaling. True, Kakarot's words were a comfort, but it's kind of hard to reassemble your world and your heart when they've been utterly ripped to pieces.

My throat felt clogged and I spat in my hand to clear it. I glanced at my palm and it was stained with red. I had strained my throat to the point of bleeding with my screams of loss. I wondered if Kakarot had been the only one who heard.

"The kids aren't home," he assured me, reading my thoughts, "Don't worry. Gohan picked them up for their weekend visit after you went to bed last night."

I was silent for a long time. My breathing had finally returned to normal, but I still felt like I'd caught a chill or something and my mind was still cluttered with ravaging sorrow.

"Hey..." Kakarot began, cupping my cheek in his hand, "Are you going to be okay?"

I nodded listlessly, "It was only a dream." It was easy to say that, but very hard to make myself believe it.

A line of worry appeared between my mate's eyebrows and his hand drifted from my cheek to my forehead, where it rested a moment.

"You've got a fever," he said, removing his hand from my face and pulling the blanket back over me, "You need to rest. I'll get you something to drink for your throat," he started to get up and my hand shot out to grab his wrist. His gaze lowered to mine and he blinked.

"D-don't..." I stammered, unsure why my voice was shaking, "Don't leave me... please."

Understanding flashed in his eyes and he nodded slowly.

"Alright." he said, lying back down next to me and looping his tail around mine, "But if you need anything, just tell me."

X

So passed the day. My fever broke as the sun set, and Kakarot had fallen asleep next to me, his arm around my shoulders in a loose embrace. I had spent half the day sleeping and half convincing myself that my mate wasn't going anywhere. I had finally soothed myself with his comforting scent and steadfast presence. It was only a dream. And I would do whatever it took to make sure it never became a reality.

Kakarot woke up a few minutes later, half sitting up and looking me in the eye. I leaned across the space between us and connected our lips lightly, not putting any intent other than to reassure and reaffirm into the kiss. I wanted to remind myself that he'd let me do nearly anything, and I wanted to get a taste of my lover before I spoke to him. Just to remind myself I still could.

Kakarot blinked once when I released his mouth, his tail curling in pleasure, "Well that's a way to wake up," he said, a smile resting on his face.

"I love you," I blurted, not responding to his statement, just putting as much conviction into the three-word promise as I could. I wondered how many times I'd actually said it, and how many more times I had left to say it.

The look on my mate's face was understanding personified, "I know. I love you too; I always will."

I cast about for something else to say, but I came up empty-handed.

I looked back up at my mate and was surprised to see a flush coloring his cheeks, his eyes alight with amusement.

"What?" I asked.

"I'll give you three guesses what I was dreaming about just now," he said. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and felt for his intentions. I could sense that he was feeling good, still slightly concerned for me, but there was definitely pleasure in his thoughts. And it took me a second to realize he was actually aroused.

I smirked and whacked him with my tail, "Pervert. Are you ever _not_ horny?"

"Nope," he said shamelessly, the ghost of a laugh in his voice.

I banished the last of my lingering doubts. I wouldn't let a dream ruin my life, or even ruin my day. I had enough light in my life to drown out something that hadn't even actually happened. And a good deal of that light was sitting in front of me, grinning expectantly and flicking his tail.

"Alright Kakarot," I laughed, "What exactly are you planning?"

X

"Vegeta," Kakarot purred, kissing down my neck and stroking his tail along my arm, "You're amazing, did you know that?"

A short moan escaped my throat and I tipped my head back to grant him access. He'd spent the better part of fifteen minutes worshipping me with touch and words, and the dream had finally left my mind completely; all I wanted was him. And I had a feeling I would get what I wanted before long.

One of his hands moved down my bare chest, caressing the skin and making me tremble. He applied a gentle pressure, coaxing me to lie back. My tail was moving so fast it was practically wagging, and I think I slapped him with it at some point, but he didn't seem to mind. I felt his lips and tongue traveling down my abdomen, pausing to lightly kiss each one of the vertical scars etched into the skin. He reached my waistline, but he didn't stop there; and I arched against him with a desperate groan as he touched his lips to the head of my arousal. He'd never done that before, and I wondered what I had to do to get him to do it again.

I didn't even have to ask; and I felt like I would spontaneously combust as his tongue ran up the length slowly, lingering at the head as he seemed to contemplate where to go from there.

My hands fisted in his hair as he swallowed me whole. He was tentative, and I felt his surprised pleasure as I instinctively thrust into his mouth. I was certain now, he had never done this before; not with me, not with anyone. But he more than made up for his lack of experience with talent alone. I'd already paid witness to the skills of his fiery tongue in other regards, and he did not disappoint. The gentle torture of lips and tongue was turning me into molten goo, and I was hardly aware of the sounds wracking my newly-healed throat as I begged him without words for more of that contact. Teeth lightly scraped against the hardened flesh, and something between a whimper and a shout left my mouth.

And then he experimented with suction. I felt like I was being turned inside-out as he sucked hard, his purr vibrating against my aching cock as his tail flicked teasingly under my nose, dizzying me with his musk. The pressure building in me reached a peak suddenly, and I bore up into Kakarot's mouth with a bitten off scream, the tides of orgasm roaring through me as I filled his mouth and throat, my vision flickering as for a moment, I was unaware of anything. Kakarot swallowed slowly, as if savoring the essence, and looked at me with an expression I have a hard time describing.

I tried to catch my breath as he cleaned me, murmuring words of his desire between licks and kisses.

"What about you?" I found myself asking as he lay down next to me, obviously having no intention to go any further tonight.

_'I'm exhausted,'_ he sighed happily, _'I came too, just listening to you.'_

I felt loose and satisfied from the recent and powerful release; and I could barely recall the dream that had all but tore me apart just hours ago. It dawned on me that that had been the point. Kakarot had been deliberately trying to make me forget, replacing that terrible memory with a pleasurable experience.

Damn, he was good. I thought about how uncertain he'd been initially.

"How come you've never done that before?" I asked, my pulse gradually returning to normal.

He shrugged, his eyes thoughtful as a memory sparked in them.

"ChiChi did something like that for me once," he said slowly, "And I attempted to return the favor... she.. ah... she said I probably shouldn't do it again, and I haven't tried since."

I looked at him, how embarrassed he was and how much it had hurt his pride to admit it, and I burst out laughing.

"Kakarot, I think she only said that because she couldn't handle the intensity of that kind of pleasure," I chuckled, "And if she _was_ insulting your talents, she was grievously mistaken."

"You think so?" he asked.

"I know so." I said honestly, "That woman has no idea what she's missing."

I had often wondered why that bitch had never appreciated Kakarot as he well and good deserved. I wondered how she was even able to stay angry at him for as long as she had. I couldn't stay mad at my mate to save my life. When he smiled, I melted. One kiss was all it took to make me forgive him for whatever he did. How had that woman had the heart to divorce him? How had she shunned him for years and shouted at him and called him an irresponsible, brainless idiot?

I smirked;_ It's her loss. Kakarot's mine now, and nothing in the universe will make me give him up._

TBC

_((I wasn't sure whether to add that sexy scene in there since this chapter was like 80 percent angst. But I guess it balanced out somewhat. I dunno. My sister asked for a blowjob scene, so I decided to stick it in here to make her happy. And I'm not sure how that nightmare came to be. That wasn't part of the original plan, it just fell together somehow. Sorry I haven't added a lot of scenes with the kids; the plot needs to catch up with Veito and Kísta soon. Hopefully they'll get some action in the chapters to come._

_Thanks for reviewing, and sorry if this chapter made anyone cry. I know I did. _

_-Shinsun))_


	7. Chapter 7

Going Gold

Chapter 7

**Tesserot**

I was going to be in _so_ much trouble. Today started out fine; I went to school like usual and got an "A" on a test, which is rare for me, and I could barely keep my tail still in class as I thought about the sparring session Goten had promised for the afternoon. Goten was the best sparring partner out of all of my siblings; he was really competitive and had a unique strategy that made him a challenge to beat. Sure, it was a great time to spar with my other brothers and my parents, but they always seemed to either go easy on me or avoid hitting me altogether. Goten wasn't like that, he'd even gone Super Saiyan against me in a spar once.

Anyhow, I was in a good mood, and my worries about my strength and someone coming to take me away had vanished for now. I was barely listening as my Biology teacher lectured on about mitosis of cells or something, and I'd completely forgotten to keep my tail guarded around my waist like I usually did.

I paid for this carelessness dearly. I was just daydreaming about what techniques I would use against Goten today when something wicked pinched the very end of my tail. Immediately, a bolt of agony so intense it was like lightning shot up my spine, and I cried out. I whirled around and snarled at the cruel enemy who had dared to hurt me so, baring my teeth and hissing though I wanted to break into tears at the pain. It didn't stop either, even as my startled classmate fell backwards in his chair, his hands nowhere near me, the agony just kept lancing up the length of my tail all the way into my skull. I ignored the teacher's frantic shouting and brought my tail around to my face to see what exactly had happened.

I don't know if it was a prank or just curiosity, but the person I had just frightened – his name was Jonathan, by the way – had actually clipped a binder clip to the end of my tail. A _binder clip._ What would possess someone to do something like that? I tried to pry the instrument of my torment from my injured tail, but it was tangled in the dark fur and I think in my attempts to loosen it I actually made it worse. I was aware that people were staring and asking questions, but I disregarded them in favor of freeing my tail, which felt like it was going to fall off with the pain it was resonating. Sucking a breath between my teeth, I at last unhooked the binder clip and threw it, disgusted, as far away from me as possible.

"Why the _hell_ would you do that?" I shouted at the paling Jonathan, who was getting to his feet, his saucer-like eyes never leaving me. Usually I'd be reprimanded for swearing, but I didn't care right now. I cradled my sore tail gingerly and inspected it to make sure it wasn't bleeding or anything.

"Well?" I demanded, staring the terrified student down. I was conscious that my power was rising sharply, buffeting the papers on my desk, and I knew I was scaring the stupid human senseless. I had inherited the infamous death-glare from my mother, and I'm pretty sure Jonathan was on the verge of wetting his pants as I used it flawlessly against him.

"Tesserot, what is the problem?" the teacher asked from the front of the class. I turned my back pointedly on the idiot Jonathan and wrapped my tail carefully around my waist, refusing to let it fall into danger again. I didn't answer the teacher though. I remembered Gohan telling me not to give information about Saiyans to any of the humans at school – he'd gone to a human university, so he would know – and explaining that my tail was very sensitive, especially to gripping and pinching, would be doing just that. So I kept my mouth shut. I was given a detention for disrupting class and scaring the ever-loving shit out of Jonathan (though the teacher didn't necessarily use those words) and the idiot who started this and caused the actual physical harm got off scott free. Oh, the justice system of the public middle school is something to laugh at, that much is for sure.

X

"Hey Tess, I know I promised you a spar, want to get started?" Goten said as I came home that day. I had gotten unnerved looks the entire bus ride home, as if the humans thought I was going to suddenly snap and attack them. It had been a rather frustrated flight from the bus stop at which I had been dropped off at to my home... which is quite literally in the middle of nowhere.

"No," I sighed, pulling out a chair at the kitchen table and making sure not to sit on my dully aching tail.

My older brother raised an eyebrow, "Why not? Something happen?"

He knew I didn't usually refuse a spar, especially not with him of all people. Trust him to read me like a book.

"Just an idiot at school doing something stupid," I muttered, tracing an abstract design on the dusky wood of the table in front of me.

Goten sat down next to me and tried to meet my gaze, his black eyes shadowed by the thick bangs he'd inherited from our shared father.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked carefully, keeping the offer loose so as not to scratch my pride. He was one of the few people who did this.

"Not really," I said honestly, "I just don't really feel up to a spar right now."

"Well... okay," the demi said eventually, leaning back in his chair slightly and fixing his gaze on the ceiling.

He and Trunks weren't around here as much as they used to be. Since they'd gotten their own apartment in the city, they only came to visit when they saw fit or when there was some kind of family gathering. I think Goten was more drawn to this place though, since he'd grown up here and still probably considered Mt. Paozu his home.

"Why aren't Mom and Dad home?" I asked after a moment. I could tell they weren't by their ki signatures – or lack thereof - and though Kísta was here – probably taking her nap, I assumed Goten was assigned babysitter today – Veito wasn't.

He shrugged, "Dunno. They didn't say, but I don't think it was too urgent or they would have told me."

I wished I could be so aloof about it. It wasn't rare for both of them to be gone at the same time, but it was for Veito to be missing as well.

"So how was school today?" Goten asked after a while, "Besides the idiot who did something stupid, I mean."

"Same old, same old." I muttered, "I got a detention for disrupting class."

"Again?" Goten sighed, "That's the third time this month, are you _trying_ to get into trouble?"

"No. I guess I'm just cursed," I said tonelessly, flicking my tail in irritation and wincing as it throbbed slightly.

"Better the curse of repeated detention than something worse," Goten pointed out.

"Like what?"

He smirked, "I could list a ton of scenarios. You could have your dad's curse where your life suddenly turns upside-down and you end up with six kids, or you could have Veito's where you're never allowed to leave the house, or you could have your mom's where you're cursed with the ability to get preg-" he cut himself off before he touched that subject, but I knew what he was going to say.

"Or," he went on with a laugh, "You could have mine."

"What's your curse?" I asked.

"The curse of never getting a girlfriend." he said with a teasing note of woe in his voice.

I smiled. It was nice to know I wasn't the worst off, and the fact that Goten could be so cheerful about something that had utterly ruined my day made the incident with the binder clip and the detention seem less important.

"Wanna spar?" I asked, getting up from the table, glad my good mood was returning and my tail didn't hurt as much anymore.

He looked at me and grinned, "Wouldn't miss it."

X

I touched down lightly on a rocky plateau, my breath coming in gasps. The November air had a slight sting to it, but it only made me feel that much more alive as I sparred with my older brother relentlessly. I was bleeding from a cut on my lower lip and the blossoming bruise on my arm would be ugly tomorrow, but I felt rejuvenated.

"Hey guys!" a cheerful voice interrupted my thoughts, and I glanced up as my father dropped out of the sky and landed not far away, jogging over to meet us as Goten raised a hand in welcome.

"Hi Dad," I said, my tail flicking with relief as I put my mind to rest. I'd been worried over nothing it seemed, if Dad was happy then Mom and Veito must be fine.

"Where's Vegeta?" Goten asked, wiping sweat from his forehead, "Where've you been all day, Dad?"

Dad tilted his head a little, "Veito needed a new textbook for his studies, so Vegeta took him to the bookstore. I went to see Bulma because she says I've apparently become 'an antisocial recluse'... Which is ridiculous."

I laughed along with Goten, though I wasn't entirely sure what was supposed to be funny.

XXX

**Vegeta**

Kakarot owed me big for this. I felt like a fool as I stood there in the bookstore with my youngest son, perusing the wide selection of textbooks for the one he required for his schoolwork. Gods, if anyone I knew caught me essentially _shopping_... I was going to have to blow their heads off.

I was scanning over the humans meandering around looking at romance novels and other such crap when my eyes landed on a familiar head of black hair, up in a tight bun.

_I must be the most unlucky person this side of the universe,_ I thought ruefully. Just my luck the bitch ChiChi was here today at the exact same time and place that I was; I hoped I had enough luck that she wouldn't notice me.

But of course, the universe just _loves_ to test my nerve, doesn't it?

"Vegeta?" the woman asked as I attempted to turn my back and ignore her.

I tensed and let out a breath slowly, "What do you want, woman." I kept my tone monotonous so that the question was more like a statement.

"Nothing, I just haven't seen you or Goku in over ten years," she said. I didn't buy it, that woman always had some kind of ulterior motive.

Veito scrutinized the human woman for a moment from next to me, "_Tӫtka_, who is that? Do you two know each other?"

His voice was quiet, like usual, but ChiChi flinched as if the child had shouted. Her black gaze lowered and landed on his, and he met her stare audaciously; as if daring her to judge him, though he couldn't possibly know what for. I laid my tail on his shoulder protectively, drawing the woman's gaze back up to mine.

"_Another?_" though the word wasn't spoken aloud, her mouth clearly outlined it. I glared at her and nodded shortly.

"Veito, this is your father's ex-wife ChiChi," I said slowly, putting particular emphasis on the word '_ex_-wife', reminding the woman of her place here. I couldn't guess what she was after, but I could make my position clear.

Veito's sharp black gaze roved over her, and he wrinkled his nose slightly in distaste. The boy was especially sensitive to smell and aura, and I can't say the woman was particularly appealing for either, at least to a Saiyan. I wondered how Kakarot had been able to stand it for the two decades in which they'd been married.

"Wh... what are you doing here?" ChiChi asked me eventually; sounding just slightly accusing, as if I was stalking her or something._ As if! _

"Buying a schoolbook for my son," I stated coolly, wishing I could just walk away, but not wanting to leave without Veito's book. Wishing I could tell the woman to go away, but not wanting to start up drama in a public place or influence Veito to be any more antisocial than he already was.

"School...?" she trailed off, sounding beyond confused and a little too judgemental for my taste.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, woman. Whatever assumptions you have about Kakarot's disregard for education, _he_ was the one who made sure his sons were properly schooled."

"But - " the woman began, seeming about to argue.

I turned to my son, "Veito, see if you can find that book, I feel I have to speak to this woman alone. Raise your ki if there's trouble, I won't go far."

Veito looked at me for a moment and nodded, swishing his short black tail once. I loathed leaving him alone, even for a moment, and even just to move a few feet away; but ChiChi seriously needed a tongue-lashing, and I didn't want to give it to her in front of a child.

I all but dragged the woman away and fixed her with a steely glare once in solitude, on the other side of a tall bookshelf where no other people were wandering.

"Look, woman," I growled, "I know what you think of me, and what you think of Kakarot; but I really don't need your accusations right now, especially not in front of my son."

She stood there haughtily, looking down her nose at me. I was pretty sure she was taller than me, if only by a little, and that didn't help my battered pride any.

"How many?" she asked eventually. I blinked and forced the fur on my tail to lie flat and not show my annoyance.

"How many what?" I muttered.

She set her teeth, black eyes flashing, "How many of them did you and Goku have?"

I noticed she didn't even have the decency to call them children.

"Three," I said shortly, refusing to fall for any of her crap.

"How old?"

I clenched my hands into fists. She was sounding just like that damn social worker, why was it so hard to accept that Kakarot and I had had a couple of kids?

"Thirteen, eleven and a half, and one," I grit out, wishing with all my heart that I could just blast her head off. The woman had caused more than enough misery on the people I cared about and myself, and it would be damn easy to just remove her from the equation. But I had a feeling Kakarot wouldn't be happy with that. For some reason, he still cared what happened to her, even if he wanted to strangle her as much as I did.

The woman was silent for a long time, and I contemplated just leaving. I didn't owe her anything, and her ideas of logic were seriously flawed.

"And Goku hasn't mentioned me at all?" she asked.

Case in point.

"Occasionally, woman." I muttered, "But don't get your hopes up or anything, he's not coming back to you."

Why on Earth she thought he'd _want_ to was beyond me, but the woman still seemed to think she belonged with her original partner, and he with her. Naivety at work, wasn't she getting a little old for fairy tales and perfect husbands?

ChiChi looked thoughtful.

"You haven't aged," she said after a moment.

"What are you prattling about, woman?" I growled.

"It's been ten years and you don't look like you've aged a day," she said.

"Obviously. I'm Saiyan. We retain our youth so that we may fight longer."

An almost sad glint came into her eyes.

"It's better this way," she said softly.

I stared at her, unsure whether I'd heard right.

"It's better..." she broke off and looked away, "You can do things for him that I'll never be able to do."

Was she pulling some kind of joke? Or was she actually... admitting Kakarot was better off with me than with her? No, she was too haughty for that, right? Her pride wouldn't allow it. She'd fought too hard to try and win her husband back, why would she just give that fight up?

The utter confusion and disbelief must have shown on my face because she almost smiled, in a resigned kind of way.

"I'm getting old, Vegeta," she said slowly, "But Goku's not. He deserves someone who can make him happy and keep up with him, and I can't do that anymore. Maybe I never could. If you haven't grown tired of him after thirteen years, I think it's clear you won't leave him."

"I'll never tire of him, woman." I said boldly.

"I would have liked to see him," she muttered, "Just to tell him he's free. I give up, Vegeta. He's yours."

I could scarcely believe my own ears. Was this some new method of deception? But no, she seemed sincere. I never thought I'd see the day.

I tried to think of some reply, but nothing came to mind. It seemed the woman was attempting to make peace of an old grudge, and I wasn't sure if I should be elated or suspicious.

Suddenly I tensed as I felt a stark drop in Veito's ki, not far away. It felt strange, wavering and saturated, and I knew in that instant that my son was having an attack.

TBC

_((Sorry if i broke the whole ChiChi thing off too quickly, but she's been hounding Goku for like twenty chapters in the past and i think it would be kind of creepy for her to be an old woman and STILL stalking her ex-husband even though he has four kids that arent even hers. Also im sorry if this chapter was awkward. Fillers. Meh. No worries, i have a plan for this story... oh, yes i have a plan._

_Side-note. Have you ever clipped a binder clip to the tip of your finger? It hurts like HELL. Now imagine how sensitive a Saiyan's tail is if even grabbing it hurts, and you have a pretty good idea what it felt like for Tesserot. Poor kid._

_Thanks, as always, for your patience and support, and im sorry this chapter wasn't as engaging as the previous one._

_-Shinsun))_


	8. Chapter 8

Going Gold

Chapter 8

**Vegeta**

"_Veito!_" I shouted, bolting away from Kakarot's ex and closing the distance between my son and me. ChiChi was chasing after me, I knew, but she couldn't compete with Saiyan speed.

Veito was on his knees, his fingers knotted in his hair, eyes squeezed shut, tail bristling and twitching. Several humans had stopped what they were doing and were staring at him, and one brave woman had approached the child, asking if he was alright nervously.

An almost eerily calm state of mind descended on me and I stepped past the woman, brushing aside her questions and kneeling across from my son. I knew he couldn't hear or see me when he was like this, but if I could draw him out of his mind where he'd locked his consciousness away, he'd go back to normal.

I laid a hand on his shoulder gently, using my knowledge with telepathy to extend my senses and try to breach the barrier his mind had thrown up in defense, murmuring soothing words quietly to him, though they fell on deaf ears. I could sense his ki fluctuating insanely, sometimes dropping so low I could barely sense it, sometimes skyrocketing and blowing some of the books around him off of their shelves. I tried to keep my cool when I really wanted to shout to try and make myself heard and shake my son to force him back to awareness; but I knew that that would do more harm than good.

_He hasn't had an attack this bad in years,_ I thought anxiously,_ not since he was seven and it got so bad that his heart stopped beating._

I was aware that ChiChi was shrieking something at me, and, still stroking a flat hand up and down my son's back comfortingly, I raised my head to look at her.

"Vegeta, what the _hell_ is going on?" she demanded, her piercing voice making my sensitive ears protest. I felt Veito's consciousness slip a little deeper into his mind with the stress; this was the opposite of progress.

"Dammit, lower your voice woman," I growled, feeling mentally for the barrier in my son's mind once again. It was like a solid wall, no way in, no way out.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked in a slightly quieter voice, still sounding accusing, as if I'd done something on purpose to hurt the child. I wanted to snap at her, but I forced my voice to keep steady, knowing it was better for Veito to be in the presence of calm ki than anything else.

"He's having an attack," I murmured, coiling my tail lightly around Veito's arm, wishing I could move him somewhere safe, but knowing it wouldn't be helpful, "It's not a frequent occurrence, but if he isn't brought back it can be very serious." _Even fatal,_ my mind taunted me. I shoved the thought aside.

ChiChi started to say something, but was interrupted as an enormous shining ki appeared directly in front of her. I felt relief sweep through me; Kakarot had come.

"I felt his ki change," Kakarot said steadily, ignoring the humans around him who had backed away when he materialized, their eyes wide and startled. Generally people didn't just _appear,_ I reasoned, so they must have been scared.

"Goku?" ChiChi blinked, her eyes moving from the paralyzed child to land on her ex-husband. He ignored her; I wasn't surprised.

Kakarot knelt before his son, gently lifting his chin in his hand.

"Come on, Veito, look at me," he murmured slowly.

Maybe it was in response to the touch, or maybe to the voice of his father, but one of Veito's coal eyes squinted open a fraction. It was hazed with confusion and pain, but the single jet pupil locked onto his father's gaze almost desperately. I could feel Veito shaking, and my tail tightened its grip on his arm.

Kakarot's expression got really intense, and I listened for his thoughts. Every ounce of his concentration was being put into a single point, which he was pressing against the wall in his son's mind. The mental touch was gentle, but strong enough to be used almost like a weapon, drilling into the barrier with single-minded willpower. Kakarot's telepathic abilities had always far exceeded my own; for reasons I didn't quite understand.

"Shit, it's really bad this time," my mate muttered, a line of effort appearing between his eyebrows as he set his teeth and tried again.

"What are you doing...?" ChiChi began from behind me, scrutinizing her ex-husband's face.

I glanced at her, silently regretting that I couldn't banish all the humans from the area so Kakarot could concentrate. It was hard enough to control his thoughts like that, it was twice as hard when the resistance he was up against was so strong, and it was nearly impossible when he couldn't focus with the distractions.

I didn't answer the woman, I didn't expect her to understand something like this anyway.

A small eternity seemed to pass before Veito's ki at last leveled out. He drew a shaky breath and tried to stand, only managing to rise halfway before his strength gave out and he collapsed. Kakarot caught him carefully as he fell forward, picking the unconscious child up gently and holding him like he was a baby again.

I looked at my mate's sweat-pricked face and exhausted eyes. His tail was lashing with worry, and my own wanted to do the same, but I held the appendage still.

'_Did it work?'_ I asked.

His black eyes met mine for a moment, '_Not really. Nothing I did helped. I couldn't get through... the attack just ran its course and let him go.'_

I sighed. I could sense how frustrated he'd been – still was, actually – that no matter what he did, it amounted to nothing. I'd felt even more helpless, there was absolutely nothing I could have done. Every time these attacks happened, blind terror ran through me over and over, and I feared that I would lose my child.

Kakarot took my hand after a while and teleported, and it was then that I remembered almost distantly that I'd come here for a book, and I left without one. I shook off the thought, it didn't matter. At least I didn't have to leave without my son.

We rematerialized at home and as my mate led me up the stairs, he gently placed Veito in my arms, purring softly as the child stirred slightly. I knew that despite the years, I was still Veito's favorite, even if he never said so out loud. Kakarot knew it too, but he didn't seem to mind.

I thought about how useless I'd been when my son really did need me. He had no right to think of me as his favorite; if anything, Kakarot had stood a much better chance of bringing him back from paralysis than I did.

'_When did you get so good at telepathy, Kakarot?' _I asked, genuinely interested, as I laid my son in his bed and covered him with a blanket. I'd meant to ask 'why are you better at it than _me?'_ but I figured that would almost sound offensive.

'_I guess I've always been,'_ he muttered, flicking his tail thoughtfully, '_King Kai communicated with me mentally a lot and I learned how to read minds when I looked at Krillin's memories on Namek, so I guess I had some background experience or something.'_

_'How did you learn to read Baldy's mind?' _I inquired. I knew Kakarot didn't like it when I used that name for his old friend, especially since he wasn't even bald anymore; but it was a hard habit to break after decades of scorn and teasing.

He shrugged,_ 'It just sort of came to me.'_

Typical Kakarot. He could pick something up in a day and be so skilled in it that it seemed like he'd trained for it his whole life. It used to annoy and even infuriate me, but now I just found it interesting.

Veito's eyelid twitched and he mumbled something incoherent, one hand that was visible through the blankets clenching into a fist.

Kakarot purred a sad little purr, '_My poor little Veito,'_ he sighed, almost to himself, '_I'm sorry this ever had to happen to you...'_

It made my chest ache to see my mate so unhappy, to see my son so fragile... I wished there was something I could do, but it was out of my hands.

I'd tried to wish away the genetic disorder and the attacks a long time ago with the dragonballs, but Shenron denied the request, saying it was too complex and vague to solve something like that.

Veito's tail smacked the side of the bed and he thrashed once with a shout before jolting awake, his dark eyes wild with panic. His breathing was rough, and when his gaze found his parents his whole body seemed to relax, relief flowing over his face.

"Are you alright, son?" Kakarot asked quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed. I joined him after a moment on the other side, threading my fingers through my son's black hair soothingly.

"...I am now," Veito said shakily, wrapping his arms around my neck in a gesture of seeking comfort, burying his face in my shirt. I purred for him for a while, holding him to my chest and thanking every god I knew that he was okay. There had been a damn high chance that he wouldn't be.

I felt Kakarot's gaze on me, and I glanced at him. Veito had curled his tail around his father's wrist, a signal of absolute trust, but Kakarot didn't even seem to notice.

'_What if...' _he began unsteadily, '_What if this happens again and one of us isn't there?'_

_'We will be.'_ I assured him, running a hand through my youngest son's hair again, '_You weren't there today, but that didn't stop you from coming to help, did it?'_

He sighed, '_I guess not, but... I just worry that...'_

_'I know,' _I said, '_So do I.'_

X

A week went by relatively uneventfully. It snowed, but it wasn't deep enough to cause a nuisance, just a foot or two. Tess and Veito pelted each other with snowballs and even allowed Kísta to join in the game, despite the fact that her aim was a little off usually. I remembered when Kakarot and I had done much the same years ago, and I debated whether or not to show the kids the "battlefield" in the woods where we'd started a snowball war. I decided against it, letting that place retain its memories untouched.

Goten and Trunks stopped by on the weekend, offering to keep the kids busy if Kakarot and I wanted some – and I quote - "time alone".

It didn't work out quite like that, though. Turns out, Kakarot and I were worn out from taking care of three Saiyan children at once, and after a spectacular tantrum Kísta had thrown the day before – resulting in several pieces of furniture being damaged – all either of us really wanted at the time was the quiet. It was cold upstairs, so we stayed in the living room and Kakarot lit a fire in the fireplace, curling up next to me and purring. Not much was said, but the moment of respite was well worth all the stress beforehand.

I had almost forgotten about the social worker that had come and interrogated us about Tesserot. Neither of us had heard back from her, and the issue was dropped for a while.

I was beginning to wonder if she'd never return. I hoped she wouldn't, but at the same time, I knew the problem wouldn't be so easily solved.

In the meantime, Tess himself grew stronger. I assumed he was still training with the gravity room, under the watchful eye of his brothers, though he was more careful with the settings now. I had to admit, it had loosened him up, to have an outlet to vent his frustrations upon. I was glad, but I still worried about him; making sure none of his resulting injuries were serious and giving him senzu when I could, reminding either Goten, Gohan or Trunks – or some combination of the three – to keep an eye on him when he left to train. I couldn't do it myself or he'd say I was trying to stop him.

I knew I couldn't protect him forever, I couldn't keep shielding him from the universe, but I couldn't ignore the dark premonition that somehow things were going to get a lot worse from here.

TBC

_((Short chapter. Not my best. Whatever. I've got school tomorrow and it's late tonight already, so... yeah._

_Thanks for reading and reviewing, as always,_

_Shinsun))_


	9. Chapter 9

Going Gold

Chapter 9

**Tesserot**

Luck is a strange thing, I guess.

I always disliked the bus ride home. It was too noisy with the human kids chattering and sniggering and throwing crumpled up pieces of paper for me to enjoy. The rattling of the vehicle itself was annoying; I couldn't rest my head against the window without the glass buzzing as it vibrated against my forehead... annoying as hell. And the constant starting and stopping as the bus lurched in front of stoplights sometimes made me nauseous, but the real reason why I so despised these bus rides was that I didn't see the point of them. I could fly all the way home easily, and driving a couple miles to a bus stop so that I could fly from there seemed pretty dumb to me.

It was Friday, I was looking forward to the weekend and the weather was relatively fair for most of the day, contrary to the last few days which were extremely cold and snowy. The sidewalks were slick with melted snow and as I got on the bus home, I could see runoff from the wet slush gathered near the curbs of the street, at least ankle-deep. The trees were dripping and though I could still see my breath swirling before my face in the air, it was warmer today than it had been since fall. It was early February, though, so while the change was pleasant, it was only temporary.

I picked a seat near the back, and, as usual, no one joined me there. I had a reputation as an insufferable loner, and I guess I liked it that way. If I spent my time forcing myself to talk to people, I'd never get anything accomplished, and my grades were dismal enough as it was without the distraction of an actual social life. Some rowdy boys in the seat across from me were laughing about a picture one had taken on their phone of one of their female classmates' bra, which had shown through her shirt. I rolled my eyes at their immaturity, gazing out the window as the bus rumbled to life and took off down the road.

About a quarter of a mile away from the school, and it started snowing again. The windows fogged up as flurries, and then swarms, of the white stuff billowed from the sky and whizzed past the windows. Soon the streets were powdered with snow, and the slush had solidified to ice with the chill. I sighed, I'd been hoping for a warm weekend. Training in the snow was no fun.

I thought about my latest endeavor with the gravity room. I could stand the gravity at 50 times that of Earth now, but I was having a hard time pushing it any higher. I wanted to be able to handle a hundred times gravity for more than just a second, and progress was slow now since I barely had a chance to slip away to train anymore. I knew my parents knew what I did to train, and where, but if they disapproved, they didn't show it. I knew my mother was concerned, but he didn't say anything about it. And though his worrying and forcing me to take senzu when my injuries were more serious than bruises was slightly irritating, I was secretly glad he cared.

I was disheartened that I was no closer to reaching Super Saiyan than I was before. I remembered my _tӫtka's _description of how he'd felt just before he ascended the first time. He could feel the power lying beneath his skin, just out of reach. When he fought Frieza, when he trained at 450 times Earth's gravity, he could feel it. And... I felt nothing. I wondered if I ever would. Dad had said Super Saiyan had sprung itself on him very suddenly, but he'd been extremely powerful at the time too. Maybe I just wasn't strong enough yet. I had to get stronger.

I was jolted out of my thoughts as the bus shuddered to an abrupt halt. It was tilted slightly to one side, and I assumed it had blown a tire. I glanced out the window again and found that we were halfway across the railroad tracks, right there in the middle. Another mile or two and I would have been at my bus stop, why did it have to stop right then? _Stupid human vehicles,_ I thought, my tail lashing in annoyance as I crossed one leg over the other to wait, knowing it would take a while for the driver to replace the tire.

The driver was speaking on the radio communicator, which was crackling with static; he was probably trying to get connected to a mechanic since the bus itself didn't have a spare tire. Some of the kids on the bus started muttering impatiently and one in particular shouted something at the bus driver that I'd rather not translate for its rudeness. Some were standing up to see what was going on, and I wanted to tell them to just sit down. Looking at it wouldn't change it, all there was to do was wait.

About ten minutes later it was snowing harder, and a muted clanging sound touched my sensitive hearing. I looked up, confused. I recognized the double-peal of the bell accompanied with the alternating red lights that announced a train coming. A chill ran down my spine. The bus was directly in the train's path, it would be smashed to bits. Of course, I could probably open a window and fly to safety no problem... but that would leave at least fifty kids stranded here to their deaths. I could hear the bus driver trying to calm everyone down, but the students were in a panic, demanding to be let off first and shoving each other. I never did understand their selfishly blind human terror. '_Take her, take him, take anyone but me!'_ It was just unnecessary.

One of the kids pushed the emergency exit window, trying to force it open, but it wouldn't budge. The melted snow that had been dripping down the sides of the bus had frozen to a sheet of ice, and the windows were immobile. Even if they could get the windows open, I doubted all of them would make it out of the train's path before it smashed the bus to pieces. The frantic atmosphere intensified.

Out of fifty kids, I was the only one who wasn't insane with panic. Even when the enormous freight train came into sight, I wasn't flailing chaotically or shouting like the others. I had run over every scenario desperately in my head, and I'd reached one conclusion that could work.

I stood and flared my ki, raising it as high as I possibly could and tuning it with an urgency that would speak to the person I intended to alert. '_Dad! Help!' _

A few moments passed in which human kids panicked and screamed as the gigantic engine of the train bore down on us. I could hear the rattling roar of its wheels churning against the track; even if the conductor pulled the break, there was no way it would stop in time. The vibration caused the whole bus to shake as the train grew closer, I could feel it all the way in my bones. _I hope this works..._ I thought. If not, I had stranded myself here with a bunch of humans, about to be flattened by a 10,000-Ton freight train.

I stared out the window closest to me in desperation... maybe my call hadn't been heard. All I could see was the skittering of thousands of snowflakes and the immense shadow of the train barreling toward me.

Suddenly a flash of black and indigo caught my eye. A huge ki had just appeared directly in front of the bus, and I pushed aside humans in my rush to get to the front window, hope flooding through me.

It was Dad alright. Standing in midair a few kilometers away from the great monster of a train engine. He looked miniscule next to the enormous machine, like an ant staring down something fifty times its size. The snow-laden wind was tossing his ebony hair this way and that, but I could see his intense expression from here, he wasn't about to move an inch.

"What's that guy doing?" Someone asked next to me in a voice shrill with fear, "He'll get himself killed!"

"Wanna watch him get flattened?" a boy asked from my other side, snickering snidely.

"Idiot! We'll die too, we should be trying to get out!" a girl shrieked.

"Shut up!" I snarled, "Just watch."

I turned my attention back to my father, who had extended one hand straight in front of him, as if he were about to catch a baseball. The thundering train clattered ever closer to him, and despite myself, I winced as the rapidly moving behemoth of metal came in contact with his palm. At first, the touch seemed to have no effect, the train pushing heedlessly on, propelling my dad with it, though he didn't lower his hand. I could feel his ki rising as he struggled to maintain the force behind his hand, pushing back against the giant machine.

"Nothing's happening," Someone said in a hushed voice, shivering with terror.

"No," I said, "Look, it's slowing down."

Indeed the train was slowing gradually, the squeal of protesting iron and steel slicing at my eardrums. Under the unfathomable force, the train actually _lifted_ a few inches off the track as the cars behind the engine caught up with the conflicted inertia. I couldn't hear anything over the scream of dozens of wheels skidding and the roar of the train's motor, but my father's mouth was open in an unheard shout of effort, his hair and tail flashing to gold as the train at last ground to a screeching halt, just a few short feet away from colliding with the school bus.

My dad just stopped a freight train with one hand.

"Whoa, dude, that was awesome," one boy whispered.

"Who the hell is that?" someone else demanded.

"That's Dad," I murmured, "That's my dad."

Dad's tail flicked once with finality and he drifted over to the completely unharmed school bus. He opened the door to the bus – from the outside, which shouldn't have been possible – and glanced at me, his hair flickering back to black.

"Come on Tess, let's go home," he said simply, as if nothing unusual had happened, "I figure you don't want to just sit here until a mechanic comes to fix that tire."

He nodded to the bus driver, who looked at him with something between awe and confusion. Dad acted like he knew everyone, even if he'd just met them, so I could see why.

I didn't give myself a moment to think, and once I'd joined my father outside, I hugged him gratefully, my tail stirring up the snow as it swished.

"Thanks," I said once I let him go.

A smile touched my dad's face and his hand ruffled my hair affectionately.

"No problem."

He was silent for a moment, watching some of the children in the bus get off and run from the scene, even though the danger had passed.

"Why didn't you just fly away?" Dad asked me, "You didn't have to..."

"I couldn't just let them all get killed," I muttered, not really wanting to explain why I did what I did.

He seemed pleased by this response, "Well, maybe you _are_ my son after all."

I blinked. There was something dark about that remark that caught me off guard, and I wondered about it.

"For the longest time I thought you took more after Vegeta," he explained.

I didn't have the chance to ask anything else; I was interrupted as a woman with dark brown hair approached and walked up to Dad, looking him in the eye. Apparently Dad knew her, and she him, but I'd never seen her before in my life.

Dad looked uncertain, tail lashing nervously, "Wh... what do you want?" he asked.

The woman just looked at him coldly, "I was coming back to tell you I filed a report with DCFS and the board reached the decision to take Tesserot into fostering under the charge of parental abuse and neglect..." she began.

Dad started to say something frantic, and I looked up at him in panic; my heart thumping somewhere in the back of my throat. This was it. I was going to be taken away. There was nothing I could do.

The woman hushed Dad with a raised hand, "However," she said, and I felt a niggling of what might have been hope at her softened tone, "As I was driving over there, I was held up by a school bus in the middle of the railway, about to be run over by a locomotive. I thought all those kids were done for. And after what I have just seen... I think it would be an unwise choice to take Tess away from you."

Dad blinked once, twice, confusion slapped on his face, "What?" he asked.

"Well not only are you obviously willing to defend Tess when he's in danger, but I don't think anyone on the board could take him away if you have the power to stop a freight train in its tracks."

"Y...you mean...?" Dad stammered, as though hardly daring to believe it.

"I misjudged you, Mr. Goku." the woman sighed, "I apologize."

"B...but..."

"Unless you'd rather I change my mind?" the woman asked coolly.

"N-no, I just..." Dad muttered, "Uh... thanks."

I stared at the two. I _wasn't _ going to be taken away? What the hell just happened?

"Anyhow..." the woman began, sounding almost nervous, "That... what just happened... that isn't a regular occurrence is it?"

"No," said Dad, "I told you, I haven't fought for my life in fifteen years."

Her brown eyes narrowed, as if there was a lot more she'd like to say. To demand answers and possibly pick apart my father's life story bit by bit for some kind of report. But she held her tongue and reached into her briefcase almost absently.

"This is the form authorizing the seizure of Tesserot from his current residence and the placement of his new foster home," she said, holding up a sheet of paper covered in fine print. She gave Dad a few seconds to look at it perplexedly before she ripped the sheet into halves, then into quarters, and dropped the shredded fragments in the snow.

"I will be keeping an eye on you though," she glanced at us both, "To be sure my judgment is not impaired by circumstance. But as of now, the case will be dropped. I will tell the board about the change of plan shortly. Good day."

And without further ado, she turned on her heel and left, and my curiosity spiked.

"Dad, what was that about?" I blurted, "What was she talking about?"

I knew someone was going to take me away. Apparently not anymore, but many of the details in that exchange just now had made no sense to me.

I noticed Dad wasn't even looking at me. His gaze was on the ground where the torn bits of paper were soaking up the melted slush until they turned translucent and soggy, the ink smudging into an illogical wet smear.

"Dad?" I asked.

He looked up slowly, and said so quietly I barely heard, "Has the whole world gone mad?"

"What?" I said blankly, puzzled.

He shook his head slowly, taking to the sky without another word, apparently intending for me to follow. I launched as well and both of us headed for home.

"First ChiChi gives up on us getting back together," he muttered, seemingly to himself, "Then that social worker drops the charges against us suddenly... Veito's attack, the first one in four years... And Vegeta's nightmare..." he trailed off, a memory sparking in his eyes, a sad one by the look of it.

"Dad...?" I asked uncertainly, "Are you okay?"

He blinked rapidly twice and looked at me, silent for a moment.

"Yeah," he said quietly, "Yeah, I'm okay."

He sure didn't look it.

For the first time in my life... I worried about my father's sanity.

TBC

_((Alright. I think it's about time I started working this story up to the main plot; I've got a few more fillers to get through before I get to the high point of the story. Remember, I said this was going to be a LOT shorter than NIAMY, none of that fifty-chapter stuff. Don't worry, I won't break it off too fast and I have enough plot to make this at least twenty chapters... but unless more inspiration strikes me...that'll be about it._

_Plus, if NIAMY gets 300 reviews (its pretty damn close right now, like 289 reviews...) I might (MIGHT) write a mirror-fic for that story entirely from Goku's POV (You're welcome TFSrules). _

_Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing...This chapter seemed a little unclear; if it didn't make sense or if I rushed it, let me know and I'll go back and edit._

_-Shinsun))_


	10. Chapter 10

Going Gold

Chapter 10

**Tesserot**

"_N__êta e sheka al'tuin kesht'k, Tess?"_ Was the first thing my dad said to me as he followed me inside.

I stared at him, honestly at a loss for words. After all that, I'd forgotten it was Friday and I had Saiya-go studies. Did he really still want me to work after that stressful experience?

"Do I really have to study today, Dad?" I pleaded, my tail swishing. I didn't think I'd be able to concentrate enough to bend over a sheet of paper with a pen and try to decipher a bunch of runes and scrawls without falling asleep in my seat.

He blinked at me and smirked, "If you'd been paying attention you would have heard that I was actually asking if you wanted to take a _break_ from studying for today.Considering you didn't even understand that much, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to let you off the hook, but I guess you've earned a rest."

I sighed with mingled relief and embarrassment. My Saiyan blood did _not_ contribute to me actually knowing the language, and slip-ups like that were actually frequent. On the other hand, the break from studying meant I would get to rest, and after almost getting flattened by a freight train and then stressed out by a social worker, I could use the mental and physical respite.

"Thanks, Dad." I muttered, my tail almost dragging as I headed upstairs to take a nap. I was wiped out, and I hoped I'd have the energy to train tomorrow if the weather was warm enough.

X

I lay in my bed for a while, awake, just thinking about today. It wasn't unusual for trouble to find me like that. It was common for me to get _into_ trouble, what surprised me was how easily I got _out_ of it today. Dad could have shown up too late to stop the train, I could have forgotten to alert him and could have been flattened along with the other kids. The social worker woman could have decided that just because my father was able to stop a speeding freight train with his bare hands didn't mean he wasn't still an abusive parent... or she could have just not been there to see him save me in the first place. A lot of things today seemed to be the result of pure, dumb luck.

I exhaled slowly. If I were a Super Saiyan, the incident with the train wouldn't have even happened, which would have saved my dad the trouble and saved many kids the panic... but that would also mean the social worker wouldn't have seen my dad defend me and admitted she misjudged him.

I bit my lip, thinking. Maybe it was for the best that I didn't keep trying so hard to ascend... maybe I should just take Trunks's advice and take my time getting there.

I thought of how easily my father had halted a freight train with the power he possessed, of how my mother described how determined he'd been to reach Super Saiyan when he was younger. Knowing that kind of power existed, that it was possible for me to claim it like my parents had... how could I _not_ keep trying to ascend? It was in my blood.

XXX

**Vegeta**

"That was very merciful of you, Kakarot." I said as the door to Tess's room closed behind him, "Something good happened today, didn't it?"

His eyes met mine and I could see the smile in them, "Yeah,"

"Are you going to tell me what it is, or are you going to make me guess?"

To my slight surprise, he drew me close to him and hugged me, his lips meeting mine for half a second before he spoke, and I heard how relieved he was in his voice.

"That – social worker - said she – misjudged – us," he said against my mouth, kissing me between each word, tail coiling around mine, "She said – Tess could stay – we..." he paused and looked into my eyes; I was amazed by the amount of sheer happiness in his gaze, "We're good parents," he murmured, briefly touching his lips to mine again, "We're good parents..."

His kisses became longer, deeper, more passionate, and he held me tighter against him, a purr rumbling from his chest. I hadn't seen him this happy in a really long time, and I couldn't help purring as well, responding enthusiastically and threading a hand through his hair gently.

'_Of course we are,'_ I said softly in his mind, '_There was never any doubt.'_

His purr deepened, taking on a more suggestive tone, and he broke away for a moment, his breathing just slightly rougher. I tried to reconnect our lips again, smelling the mounting arousal in the air and knowing where this was going.

Kakarot stopped me, gently holding me at arm's length, tail swishing.

"Not here," he said, glancing around at the living room, "Dammit. There's no one to watch the kids, and that... sparring island got destroyed a week ago."

I liked how he said "got destroyed" as if he'd had nothing to do with it. Both of us knew he'd blown the whole thing up after Veito's attack out of terrified frustration.

"Meet me at the Lookout," I said, "I'll get Gohan to keep an eye on the kids."

He sighed at having to wait that long, but nodded.

X

"C'mon, Vegeta, don't I ever get a break from being babysitter?" Gohan protested when I asked him.

I wanted to whine with impatience, but kept myself silent. I was a prince, and princes did not _whine._

"Please?" I asked, knowing the word was rarely heard coming from me, "It's important."

He rolled his eyes, "If I know you two, it's just an excuse to be -"

I cut him off before he could finish, "Gohan, I'll do anything. _Please._"

He hesitated for a long time; he knew how uncommon it was for me to beg, but what he was doing must have been damn important if he was taking this long to make up his mind.

I bit back a sound of frustration. Judging from Kakarot's good mood a moment ago, this would be one hell of a night, if I could just get Gohan to cooperate.

"Okay fine." The demi muttered, "But you owe me."

I exhaled gratefully, "Thanks Gohan, you're a lifesaver."

"Yeah, yeah," he said sarcastically, "You two have fun." I heard him mutter something about being the only real adult in this family before he gathered his things to leave, and I took that as my signal to take off.

X

I followed Kakarot's ki-signature until I got to the Lookout, and I found him in one of the many rooms in the huge white building there – the purpose of said rooms, I did not know, but I was glad for them.

"Dende said we could use this room undisturbed and he'd keep Mr. Popo distracted," my mate purred as I leaned up to kiss him and he complied, "Wasn't that nice of him?"

I mumbled some kind of response against his mouth, panting with anticipation as he lay me on the solitary bed in the room, his tail swinging to close the door and seal it shut with his ki. Then he joined me on the bed, leaning over me and covering my mouth with his; rumbling that sexual, rippling purr that he used on me and me alone. His tongue slipped between my lips and I heard myself moan at the taste and feel of fire, the heat radiating from his body, the sharpness of his scent engulfing my senses and overwhelming me. His tail snaked around my arm, the fur fluffing out and teasing the skin. I shivered, and a gasp tore from me as he rolled his hips against my pelvis once, just enough for me to feel how aroused he was already. His fingers hooked under the lower hem of my shirt, and he slid the garment up slowly, tasting, nipping and teasing every inch of skin he revealed. He spent considerable time sucking and licking at a nipple, the pleasure he was causing almost painful in its intensity. Once my shirt had fluttered to the floor, he recaptured my lips, and I heard the low groan of appreciation in his throat. I could feel his hands caressing over my shoulder blades, and – knowing it would goad him on – I bit his lower lip, and relished the sensation of his nails raking down my spine, deep enough to leave marks, but not deep enough to hurt.

"Kakar-ot," I moaned softly, the sound slightly broken off as he nuzzled the side of my neck. I could feel his purr vibrating through me, echoed and matched by my own.

He tossed his shirt over his head, kneeling between my thighs and traveling back up my chest with his tongue and lips, eliciting little pants and groans from me.

I cried out and arched against him as his mouth covered my mating mark, sucking on the sensitive skin and running his tongue along the surface, as I panted and shook beneath him. Colors flashed before my eyes, and I let my head fall back in bliss. I coiled my tail around his thigh and stroking it up and down slowly, letting him know I _thoroughly_ enjoyed this. As if the pleading moans and choked off purrs weren't enough to tell him that.

One of his hands slipped below my waistband, tracing over the insides of my thighs and hips as he slid my spandex leggings down, but tortuously avoiding my aching cock. His hands wandered, caressing every inch of skin they could reach with ethereally light contact. I was aware of begging him without words, my vision flickering as he sucked on my mark and touched me everywhere but my attention-starved erection.

"Kaka -" I began shakily, the attempt at speech crumbling into a purr as his tail feathered over one of my hardened nipples; his musk swamping over me, my eyes rolling back into my head with the scent and sensation all around me.

Just when I felt I was about to explode from too much sensory overload, my mate's teeth slid into my mark, his hand wrapping around the base of my erection at the same time as the tip of his tail feathered over the leaking head.

"F-fuck yes, Kakar_rrot!"_ The last syllable came out as a shout that wracked my throat as I arched again and came hard, fire racing through me, touching every nerve with white-hot ecstasy. My vision went white, and I collapsed back into the mattress, breathing heavily, as the throes of orgasm released me.

Kakarot's bloodstained teeth showed between his lips as he smiled, and he leaned over me again to reunite our lips, the copper and fire of blood mingling between us.

I disconnected the kiss for lack of air, still panting from the release, the taste of Kakarot and of my own blood on my lips and tongue.

"Vegetaah..." Kakarot murmured, licking at my jawline and nuzzling my neck and shoulder, "You're so beautiful..." He mapped my heaving chest with his tongue, tasting and treasuring, the places he explored flaring hot before cooling as the air came in contact with saliva and sweat, "...I just want to devour you..."

I could feel myself growing hard again under his efforts, my purr rumbling back to life as his tail fur smoothed in different directions across my abdomen, the teasing sweeping of the appendage moving lower, fluffing and bristling against my groin and growing arousal. Kakarot attacked my panting mouth, delving inside with his tongue as he slid out of his jeans. He was radiating heat, perspiring, and hard as steel as he pressed himself close to me; his lashing tail finding mine, and the two curled around each other. His hips undulated slowly, his erection grinding against my own as both of us moaned.

Slick fingers slid into me, and I purred, throwing my head back as I was stretched, every movement of the digits stimulating my prostate with practiced precision. Kakarot's mouth covered mine again as the contact of fingers vanished, only to be replaced by the overwhelming sensation of being filled as he slowly thrust forward and penetrated me.

My mind was rapidly shutting down, thoughts emptying as the pleasure washed through me again and again. Kakarot waited a moment, and then rocked his hips, his lips moving against mine, joined tails coiling around my erection trapped between us. He sank in deeper, harder, flaring to Super Saiyan as he did; and I almost bit his tongue off at the feel of him, the scent rushing through my nose straight to my throbbing arousal. I ascended as well, reveling in the yellow ki swirling around us as Kakarot's pace increased, his vocalizations echoing mine. His lips brushed mine briefly before his breathing became rougher, as did his movement. I leaned up, kissing his shoulder and neck before breaking the skin of his mark, tasting his blood as it flooded into my mouth.

Kakarot's breathing stopped.

With a bitten-off scream he came, his power skyrocketing as I followed his release with my own, my teeth pulling out of his shoulder as my head fell back against the bed, struggling to bring air into my lungs as the pleasure ripped through me, filling up every facet of my being. Kakarot's arms encircled me and he embraced me, purring unsteadily and breathing hard as he recovered along with me.

'_It's been a while since you were so eager,'_ I murmured, kissing the side of his nose gently.

'_It's been a while since I had reason to be,'_ he answered, lying down alongside me, still close enough that I could feel his body heat.

I purred softly and snuggled closer to him, feeling loose, heavy, and content.

'_Do you think it will stay like this?'_ he asked eventually, his eyes fading to black now whereas mine had long ago.

I thought about it and decided to answer honestly, '_No. Nothing ever stays the same, but I can't shake the feeling that something is going to happen... something bad.'_

"What do you mean?" his voice was ragged from straining his throat, and it was barely a whisper.

"I'm not sure," I muttered, "It might just be paranoia, we both know I worry too much."

He laughed softly, "True, but you're intuition can be pretty accurate. If something is going to go wrong, we should be ready for it."

I sighed. We couldn't be prepared for something neither of us could foresee.

"Shouldn't we be going?" I asked, "I'm sure Dende and that Popo creature wouldn't want us to linger..."

Kakarot purred and held me close to him, burying his nose in my hair as he inhaled my scent.

"No, there's no need." he said reassuringly, "I want to savor this."

If I had known just how drastically things were about to go downhill, I would have been more enthusiastic to join him in savoring this moment of happiness for all it was worth.

TBC

_((A little foreshadowing for you there... Sorry this took so long, I was going to post it last night, but my inspiration was kind of scattered and I couldn't focus long enough to get more than a page or two done. I've said it before, I'll say it again, I've got a _lot_ of stories going right now, so sorry if some are more favored than others and are updated more quickly._

_Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing._

_-Shinsun))_


	11. Chapter 11

Going Gold

Chapter 11

**Tesserot**

You know, I complained about it a lot, but having a little sister was pretty nice. Kísta might be irritating when she cried and she got far more attention than she deserved, but she was sweet and she looked up to me as much as – if not more than – her other brothers. We were stuck in the house with Gohan today, and he tried to keep us all entertained, but we ended up arguing rather than cooperating; and it was too cold to spar. So in short, I was bored, and so was everyone else.

Kísta was curled up in Gohan's lap, but she was in the middle of a conversation with me – about as elaborate a conversation as a one-year-old could have. She was asking if I'd gotten any stronger with my "tough training", and though I'd told her honestly that I hadn't improved much, she just smiled trustingly and said she knew her big strong brother would get there soon. I noticed that Veito didn't seem much up to talking, and I wondered distantly if this talk of strength was uncomfortable for him, considering his level of power was _still _higher than mine even if he'd never set foot in the gravity room or done any rigorous training in his life.

There was a stretch of silence that lasted a few minutes once Kísta got tired and fell asleep in Gohan's lap.

"How come you're always the one who watches us when Mom and Dad take off, Gohan?" I asked after a while. After all Goten and Trunks were both capable of babysitting and there was always Bulma...

He glanced at me and shrugged slightly, "Dad said it was because I was 'the oldest offspring', but I think it's because he trusts me to make sure you guys don't get in trouble... I don't really mind that much..."

He trailed off as Kísta started coughing in her sleep, her tiny chest rising and falling sharply. She sat up after a while, stifling further coughs against the back of her hand and sniffling.

Gohan's eyebrows furrowed with concern and he laid a hand gently on her forehead.

"She's got a fever," he said quietly, "Must be coming down with something. It is flu season."

Kísta shivered visibly, rubbing her nose with her sleeve, "It's cold," she murmured, shifting uncomfortably.

I blinked at her perplexedly. It wasn't _that_ cold today.

"What's the matter, Kísta?" I asked her, my tail swishing slightly.

She looked at me blearily, her black bangs unkempt with lingering sleep, "...Don't feel good..." she mumbled.

"You should go to bed," Gohan said swiftly, scooping the toddler up in his arms and carrying her to her room.

I sighed. Having a little sister was nice, I guess, but she sure got babied by everyone else. I doubted I'd get the same level of concern Kísta was getting if I complained about not feeling good.

XXX

**Vegeta**

I slipped a shirt on over my shoulders; it covered nearly all the thin pink scratches Kakarot's nails had left along my back.

"Let's head home," Kakarot said, pulling on his own shirt and opening the door to the room we'd stayed in.

I nodded and followed him, taking to the sunset-painted sky after thanking Dende most graciously upon exiting the room, heading unhurriedly for home.

The sun was down when we landed, and after stealing a quick kiss, Kakarot stepped inside with me following in his wake.

Gohan was sitting on the sofa, a book lying open in his lap. His gaze wasn't on the pages however, but somewhere in the distance. He blinked as we entered and looked at us gratefully.

"Oh good, you're back. I'd almost dozed off..." he muttered, yawning as he stood and closed the book he'd been holding.

"It's so quiet," Kakarot said, "Where'd everyone go?"

"Tess and Veito are in their room," he said, "I sent them there since Kísta's not feeling well. Just so they won't bother her while she rests."

"Kísta isn't feeling well?" I asked, "What's wrong?"

"She had a fever and she was coughing, and sneezing a little." Gohan explained, "I think she might have caught a cold or the flu or something."

I shook my head slightly, confused, "Saiyans don't usually get human illnesses like that..."

"Well I figured if she slept she'd feel better," Gohan shrugged, "If you want, you can check in on her, but I'd try not to wake her up."

"Alright," I nodded distractedly, thinking, "You should get some sleep too, Gohan. Why don't you stay here tonight? You look tired."

The demi agreed easily and lay down on the couch, shifting to get comfortable.

"I'm going to check up on Kísta," I said to my mate, "Want to head upstairs and get some sleep?"

Kakarot blinked, "You don't want me to go with you?"

"I've got it, I'm sure Kísta wouldn't want the disturbance."

Kakarot shrugged noncommittally, but I could tell he was worried about his daughter too.

X

I awoke in the middle of the night, and at first I wasn't sure what had woke me. I swallowed and my throat was dry, and as I tried to clear it, it was wracked with coughing. No relief from the dryness was forthcoming, and I shivered and lay back down once the coughing subsided.

I felt Kakarot's gaze on me.

"Not you too," he said softly.

"I'm fine," I muttered, "It's just the weather, it's really dry this time of year."

I could tell he wasn't convinced, but he said nothing of it and soon fell back asleep.

X

I opened my eyes again the next morning, and my vision was blurred slightly. Every inch of my body ached and I was shivering from cold.

I started to get up and my mate held me down lightly.

"Stay in bed, Vegeta," he commanded gently, "You don't look so good."

I growled in irritation, but the sound was broken off as I started coughing again. Rougher, more wrenching coughs than before.

"I'll call Bulma," Kakarot said shortly, getting up, "This could be serious."

.

I wasn't sure how long I stayed there after he left, but I drifted in and out of sleep, and somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I should be worried. This kind of thing didn't usually happen to Saiyans. It just wasn't normal for them to succumb to human afflictions like the cold or the flu. That just wasn't how they were designed.

I remembered I'd gotten sick when I was pregnant with Tess, but that was different. That was a pregnancy issue; and right now Kísta was sick too. I wasn't sure what could have happened, but I wasn't accustomed to feeling so vulnerable. I doubted I could even stand up straight with the way my head was reeling.

X

Kakarot eased the door to our bedroom open, with Bulma standing next to him.

"Vegeta too?" the woman asked in an undertone, as if she assumed I was asleep.

"Yeah," Kakarot said quietly, "All three of them are just out of it."

"Kísta's the worst right now," Bulma murmured, "but if Gohan's throwing up like you said... it might be getting worse."

I tensed slightly as I overheard this, cursing the slight movement as it brought on another bout of coughing. Gohan was sick too? How long before it spread to the others? My immediate thought was of Veito. With his lowered immune system, he wouldn't be able to fight off an illness – whatever it was – easily... or at all.

Apparently Kakarot was thinking along the same lines as me.

"What if Veito catches it? He seems the most susceptible to something like this," he muttered.

Bulma did not respond as I expected her to, and when she replied, her voice was calculating as well as worried.

"You know _you're_ a pretty likely candidate too, Goku."

I could feel the slight swing in my mate's ki as his anxiety spiked, "What? Why?"

"Veito's immune system is weakened by his genetic disorder, but you're system's not entirely stable either,"

"What do you mean?" Kakarot asked. I was confused as well, and I forced my currently sluggish mind to figure out what the woman was suggesting. Kakarot was a powerful fighter, a Saiyan warrior in his prime; why would he be more vulnerable to an illness than anyone else? He'd always been healthy as a horse as long as I'd known him...

The thought trailed off as I realized what the woman was getting at quite suddenly.

"Remember when you caught a heart virus years ago when the androids came?" Bulma asked.

Kakarot blinked in confusion, I could see it through the ajar door.

"Yeah... but I thought I recovered from that completely, and I fought Cell and Buu without any problems..."

The woman looked him in the eye steadily, "You might not have noticed, but it's still had an effect on you. Not so much since you came back after Cell, but there's been a slight change in your endurance."

I thought about it. It didn't make a lot of sense that a virus from _years_ ago would still affect my mate today, but it was true that he hadn't lasted as long as his son against Cell, and whenever he'd gone Super Saiyan Three, he hadn't been able to hold it for very long. He still fought like always, but I remembered in the heat of battle and even in some of our sparring sessions, he ran out of breath rather quickly; even if it didn't impair his fighting abilities... at least not visibly. What if it really was a struggle for him to keep up with his usual standard? And was that drop in endurance getting worse as the years passed?

It made me wonder... when I'd reached level three, even though it was only one time... was I briefly even stronger than my mate had ever been?

I caught a glimpse of Kakarot gripping the front of his shirt, right where his heart was, as if to reassure himself it was still beating at the same tempo that it was supposed to.

"Don't stress out over it too much, Goku," Bulma soothed, "But just... don't get too close to them while they're sick, okay? None of us want to lose you again... And make sure Veito stays clear as well."

X

A few days passed. Bulma stayed to make sure Kísta, Gohan and I weren't in any dire condition, and eventually Videl came to pick up Gohan, saying she'd take him to Capsule Corp where she and Bulma could both look after him as the blue-haired woman traveled back and forth from her laboratory on a daily. I knew she was really trying to essentially quarantine her husband, and with Capsule Corp's state-of-the-art medical lab, she could keep him in a sterile environment while he recovered.

Kakarot stayed with Veito - and Pan, who'd been sent by her mother to visit in order to give Gohan some peace – at the Kame house with that old man Roshi. Goten and Trunks joined him there after a while,and they waited for the sickness to run its course with us. I could feel my mate's emotions, and how reluctant he was to leave my side – even for both of our own good – but I also knew he'd tear out his own slightly-damaged heart to protect his children, and he couldn't protect them if he stayed here.

Luckily for everyone; whatever this sickness was, it didn't affect humans... Unluckily for those of us who had caught it; it progressively got worse as it went on. What started as just coughing and fever turned into a fit of vomiting and shaking and violent sneezing before long. I saw it happen to Kísta and got reports that Gohan had endured the same... all the while dreading when it would catch up with me.

Three days went by before I hit the worst part. I can remember only a few instances where I'd felt more miserable than that. The only thing that kept me from pitying myself too much was that Kísta had gone through the same thing. If a one-year-old child could handle throwing up every few minutes and feeling as though her head would explode from the pressure to her sinuses... so could I.

Something hit me on the fourth day, when I'd woken up feeling as though I was boiling alive from the inside... In the midst of all the confusion and fretting of everyone... we'd completely lost track of Tesserot.

TBC

_((Haha, you think my entire plot revolves around this sickness thing don't you? Hell, if that's how simplistic my plot was, I'd just write another Love Has No Cure... Oh, but I have a cunning plan. *snicker snicker* _

_I dunno where the bit about Goku's heart came from. I just recently had a head-canon about that... No one considered that he nearly died from a heart attack and it never affected him throughout the series?_

_Wondering where Tesserot ran off to? You'll just have to wait and see._

_Sorry there wasn't a lot of dialogue and this chapter was mostly filler and various descriptions of nothing. I promise it'll get more exciting very shortly._

_Also, side-note! Not In A Million Years only needs one more review before it reaches 300 reviews, and then I'll write you guys a mirror-fic for it. I've even got a title all planned out. I await that final review with utmost anticipation..._

_Thank you, as always, for your kind reviews, and for putting up with me and my dismally short chapters._

_-Shinsun)) _


	12. Chapter 12

Going Gold

Chapter 12

**Tesserot**

I was blind. At least, it felt like it. Everything was a smudged, raging red blur as I attacked numerous invisible opponents, all the while fighting the pressure weighing down on my rapidly moving limbs. Fifty-five times Earth's gravity under this exertion, and yet the greatest struggle was not physical. It was going on in my mind.

Today was Veito's twelfth birthday. I had a hazy recollection of when he was born in early February a dozen years ago, and now... I wondered if anyone but me even remembered, if Veito himself even realized he was aging another whole year today. Everyone was in such a panic since my sister, half-brother and mother got sick three days ago, and I figured it would be better for everyone of I just stayed out of their way.

So I trained.

Hell, I doubted anyone even noticed when I left. It wasn't hard to sneak away, and no one had come looking for me after three days... I wasn't all that surprised. They had enough to worry about. Still, years ago when I would disappear to try to get someone's attention, even my dad would drop everything to come after me to make sure I wasn't too upset, and would try to calm me down. I guess worry for his mate and youngest child outweighed his worry for me – who had remained healthy and strong despite all this.

But that was just it wasn't it? I was supposed to be the trooper, the strong one who held out even when things were tough, even when half my family was deathly ill and the other half was stricken with panic. The strong one who grew up with a younger brother with a disability, who couldn't play with me because his parents wouldn't let him; afraid he'd kill himself just trying to make me happy. The strong one who stood deflecting questions and standing guard over said younger brother when he was paralyzed and scared, calling frantically for Mom or Dad to help because no one else would. The strong one... who had to sit by and watch as my baby brother had blood test after blood test taken to make sure he wasn't about to drop dead at any given moment. Who had to assure Veito that he'd be okay, that he'd feel better soon, that it would _somehow_ turn out alright no matter how horrible his attacks got.

So I wasn't surprised that I was ignored and disregarded so often. After all, I wasn't Veito... And as long as I was the still the strong one out of both of us, there was no cause for anyone to worry.

But sometimes... I just wished someone would ask how I felt about my brother having a disability, about being second best even when I tried so hard to be better than I was... And I wished I could help Veito, because I couldn't bear to let myself be jealous of him without feeling sickened. It wasn't fair for me to envy the attention he got if he struggled day by day just to survive, if an attack could seize him at any moment, rendering him helpless.

I slashed angrily at an imaginary foe, sweat flicking from my lashing tail as the red glow of the Gravity Room reflected off my skin, dying it orange. Maybe I was selfish, arrogant... or something, for wanting the things I wanted or wishing things could be different. Maybe I shouldn't have left everyone, should have stayed with Dad and Veito so they wouldn't worry about me when they had enough to worry about. But then... they weren't worried. Otherwise they would have come looking for me.

A slight tremor wracked the Gravity Chamber, making the floor beneath my feet wobble and the air snap and hiss with static. I grit my teeth; there had been periodic malfunctions now and again, and they were occurring more frequently now. I guessed Bulma hadn't updated the chamber in a while, so it was going to be a little faulty. But I didn't want to leave yet; my head still hadn't cleared, if anything it had gotten more cluttered.

I thought of my _tӫtka _ the last time I'd seen him. Exhausted from hours of coughing and throwing up, pale with sweat glistening on his forehead, shivering from cold, his tail drooping and lackluster. Bulma wouldn't let me get too close, saying the three who were sick were very contagious. And that was when I decided to distance myself, so I wouldn't catch the sickness and so that I could take one more burden off everyone's shoulders. That's all I would be now, a burden, a bother.

I wondered what Veito was doing right now. If he was scared, if he was worried... or worse, if he'd caught the sickness too and was now battling for his life, energy draining by the day... No, I would know if that happened... wouldn't I? Surely I would also know if anyone's condition had worsened? What if I came back to find _everyone_ sick? Or... to find someone had died?

A snarl escaped me and I fired a ki blast wildly, not taking aim or bothering to check my form. The panic filling my chest, clawing at my throat, was terrifying. And I had to do something the vent off the worst of it... something...

I gathered my power and shot bolts of ki from my fingertips, trying to pour my chaotic emotions into the shreds of energy leaving me. Sweat snaked down my forehead, and I whirled around, trying to force my power as high as it would go, still firing blasts of yellow ki that ricocheted off the rounded walls. My tail swung to maintain my balance, and as I charged another aimless attack, I felt something skitter beneath my skin; a sort of burning flush of heat that flooded through my veins, to my fingers, and back to my skull. I paused, short of breath and sweating. Was that... was that what Super Saiyan felt like? I ran a hand through my hair. No, it was normal still... maybe this is what my mother meant, when he said he could feel the power lying dormant beneath his skin as he strove to ascend.

The Gravity Room hummed as my last ki blast dissipated in the condensed air. I tried to summon the feeling I'd felt a moment ago, reaching for that power and pushing my energy higher, feeling it swirl around me, licking at my skin and hair like flames. I closed my eyes, concentrating and straining my power, static crackling around me as the Gravity Room began to vibrate again. I shut out the sound, feeling for the power just out of reach... If I could just reach it... just reach a little further...

I stretched out a hand as if to actually reach for something, my pulse deafening in my ears.

The room still trembled, the shaking growing more violent as the air seemed to turn to liquid, like molasses around me. My eyes snapped open, alarmed, and I turned and looked behind me.

Thoughts fled from my mind quite suddenly. The enormous pillar in the center of the room – where the gravity controls were, the device that held up the entire chamber – was leaning slightly, and it was starting to wobble on its axis. Horror turned my blood to freezing slush, and I tried to run, but my feet were rooted in place. My eyes landed on the screen on the control panel, and I could see the number representing the amount of gravity climbing quickly as the giant pillar teetered. 75 times gravity, 80 times... 93... 97... I felt like I was at the bottom of the ocean, suffocating under the pressure as it squeezed my brain from the outside. 99 times gravity... My vision popped slightly, flashing black before my eyes, and I sluggishly looked up in time to see the gigantic gravity pillar lose its precarious balance and tip ominously. 124 times gravity... I fell to my knees, unable to run, unable to move, my eyes squeezing shut to try to lessen the pressure mincing my skull. Of all the ways I'd imagined I might die... this wasn't one of them...

I squinted one eye open, enough to read the blurry screen of the control panel...

A hundred and fifty times Earth's gravity...

With a squeal of protesting metal ripping free and a shower of sparks, the giant pillar toppled over, rushing towards me like that freight train had a few days ago...

_I'm sorry Veito..._

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Going Gold

Chapter 13

**Tesserot**

"Tess! Get up!" Someone shouted in my ear, a muffled, strangled voice I could barely hear, "Tess, can you hear me?"

I opened my eyes painfully, amazed that I hadn't been crushed by the falling gravity pillar. The voice was speaking to me again, but it sounded distant, as if it were speaking across a long distance, and I couldn't tell who it was or what it was saying. Blearily, I looked up.

At first I was confused by what I saw. The enormous pillar was suspended a few feet above me, floating weightlessly in midair. My gaze shifted perplexedly, and suddenly the confusing image made sense. Crouching, supporting the huge behemoth of metal shakily above him and sweating from the effort, was Gohan. His ki was extremely high, at Mystic level, and his gaze was fixed anxiously on me.

"Are you okay?" He grit out, as if the effort of holding something so heavy and gigantic aloft was impairing his ability to speak.

I tried to stand, to help him, to do something, but I felt like I was being held down with invisible bonds weighing on every inch of my body.

"I c- I can't move!" I stammered, panic setting in as horrendous possibilities and scenarios rushed through my sluggish mind. My own voice sounded far away, as if someone else were speaking instead of me.

A tremor moved visibly through my older brother, and I reminded myself that he'd been terribly sick less than a day ago; maybe he still was.

Gohan seemed about to speak, but was interrupted as a loud hissing sound filled the room. I looked around, confused and slightly lightheaded, to see the room shaking worse than ever, sparks flying along the walls, and for a moment I imagined I could see the ceiling caving in slowly.

I shook my head quickly to clear it, wincing as an ache pounded the inside of my skull. I could see Gohan's gaze fixed in terror above him, and I saw a tile of the roof fall and clatter to the floor, the entire thing buckling as the walls closed in, the air of the room heating as if someone had lit it on fire.

"What's happening?" I asked frantically, trying to stand again and failing as my whole body shrieked with pain, the pressure constricting me brutally from the outside.

"The whole room is collapsing on itself!" Gohan shouted, his voice strained with fear and exertion. He was breathing as if there was not enough air, and it took me a moment to realize I was struggling to inhale as well, "Without the pillar to hold it up, the pressure is going to crush it completely!"

While he was holding up the pillar to keep it from smashing me, he couldn't do anything to defend either of us, and I was paralyzed under the intensive gravity, unable to reach the energy I needed to stand. I was drained dry from training.

"Wh-what's going to happen to us?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"Everything has an inverse reaction," Gohan said shakily, "If the gravity room is crumpled that quickly, the heat and energy will make the whole thing explode like a supernova!"

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what would happen to two exhausted, energy-drained Saiyans if they were caught in that kind of explosion. And neither of us could escape like this, or even raise our ki to call for help... we had none left...

Gohan's knees buckled suddenly and he stumbled under the weight of his burden as the gravity shifted and fluctuated, all the while still climbing. I could feel every inch of me being squeezed, and it was a struggle just to bring the hot, concentrated air into my lungs.

"D-dammit," Gohan swore, exhaustion coloring his voice as his power level dropped like a stone, "I can't... I can't hold it anymore..."

I tried to shout at him, but my voice was gone. I wasn't sure if it was because I couldn't get enough oxygen to work my vocal cords like that, or if I was in shock.

My older brother looked at me sadly, and as the last drop of his energy faded away, the pillar slipped from his grasp. I watched it fall in awesome slow motion, watched Gohan collapse to the ground, but I never saw the giant metal object actually land.

With an ominous hiss, the walls of the gravity room rushed toward each other, and like an imploding star, the reverse physics caught up along with the huge amount of kinetic energy, and the very air around me combusted as the gravity room blew up from the inside out.

XXX

**Vegeta**

I had more energy today. Worry for Tesserot combined with the frustration of being unable to leave the house, and I paced the day away, my swinging tail a lethal weapon, knocking over anything that got in range of it, including a vase Bulma had sent years ago. What if he ran away? What if he was hurt? What if he was lost? I could sense Kakarot far away, along with Veito and the young demis, but I couldn't sense Tess anywhere. I wanted to fly off and look for him, and I probably had the energy to do it right now, but Bulma had forbidden me from setting foot outside until the sickness cleared up completely. A frustrated growl left my throat and my hands clenched into fists. I felt helpless, and some primal sense nagging at me insisted that Tess was in huge trouble, and I could do nothing for him.

I probably would have paced and worried and bit my nails to the quick all day long if the door hadn't opened right then.

It was Kakarot, and he had Bulma with him. I'd never been more relieved to see anyone, though I did worry that Kakarot would catch the illness from me if he got too close.

And then I read the look of panic of my mate's face, and just a taste of the thoughts rushing through his head indicated why this was so.

"What's happened?" I demanded, my lashing tail knocking over a picture frame, which fell to the floor unheeded.

"I'm not sure," Kakarot muttered anxiously, "Bulma just came and told me..."

The blue-haired woman interrupted quickly, "The gravity room has been malfunctioning for days, and I was in Capsule Corp just now when Gohan left, saying it was important. I warned him not to leave the house in his condition but he didn't listen and..."

"Woman," I cut in, "Kindly get to the point, won't you?"

"Right," she said shakily, "Well I, I looked out the window and the whole room was shaking, and just as I was about to go out and see what happened the whole thing just exploded."

I felt my heart leap into my throat, "What does that have to do with..?" I began, praying my intuition was wrong.

"Tess has been training in there for days," Bulma said carefully, "I- I'm not sure if he was in the room when it blew up, maybe Gohan got him out in time..."

"You didn't check?" I snarled, outraged that the woman could be so careless.

"There wasn't time!" Bulma shouted indignantly.

"Guys," Kakarot interrupted, "Stop arguing, we need to do something!"

"I can't go with you," I sighed, "Bulma won't even let me step outside."

"Neither you nor Gohan are contagious anymore," Bulma said, "The worst of his symptoms cleared yesterday, and I was just about to tell you when this happened."

"Then why are we just standing here?" I demanded, taking Kakarot's wrist so he could teleport the three of us. I was begging silently to find my son alright, but the nagging in my mind assured me that whatever we found would not be good.

X

I had expected to find a pile of rubble where the gravity chamber used to be, maybe a crater littered with chunks of metal... but not this.

My first impression was that there was nothing left, that the whole room had incinerated leaving only a large black section of charred grass. But then I saw a piece of melted, mutilated metal lying a few yards away. The small size of the fragment made me feel slightly dizzy with fear. What if I only found a piece of Tesserot?

At first glance of this place I'd been afraid I wouldn't find him, that he'd been reduced to ash, but now I was more afraid that I _would _find him; and I was afraid of what state he'd be in if I did.

I wasn't sure if I was panicked or relieved when I found no trace of him. Maybe I was wrong, maybe he hadn't been here... maybe it was just a coincidence..._I've become such a terrible liar I can't even fool myself anymore..._

Kakarot, Bulma and I split up, searching the surrounding vicinity for any sign. For a while we were unsuccessful, though we did find various singed, broken pieces of metal, glass, and equipment.

I felt Kakarot's ki spike, and I knew at once that he'd found something.

'_Is it..?'_ I began, fear clawing at my throat.

'_No...'_ he answered, and his mental voice was shaking with shock, '_Not Tess... it's...'_

_'What?'_ I demanded impatiently.

He sent me one word, and even in my mind it was extremely quiet with disbelief, '..._Gohan.'_

I found Kakarot standing a few feet away from Capsule Corp's southern side, at the edge of the small forest on the rim of the property. He was crouched beside a fence, the limp form of his eldest son sprawled against the chainlink barrier between the house and the trees. He must have gotten thrown by the explosion and the fence halted his velocity.

I rushed to his side, and nearly fainted. The whole side of Gohan's face was burned, the skin blackened and raw from his forehead all the way down his neck to his shoulder. One of his arms was bent at an awkward angle, and his hands were curled into fists, as if he'd been gripping something... or someone...

I carefully pried his fingers free of their grip, my hands shaking, and found a scrap of cloth clenched in his fist. I brought it to my nose and inhaled the scent, my nagging suspicions confirmed.

"It's Tesserot's," I breathed unsteadily.

Kakarot didn't look at me, and placed two fingers carefully on Gohan's singed jugular. There was a moment of silence.

"He's alive," he said quietly, disbelievingly, "Unconscious and burned really badly... but alive..."

I barely had a moment to feel relieved when Bulma interrupted my thoughts.

"Hey guys!" she shouted, her voice sharp with anxiety, "I think you should see this..."

I caught a glimpse of the indecision hastily scrawled on my mate's face. He didn't want to leave Gohan, but he couldn't easily take him with him without causing more damage.

"Stay with him," I said quickly, "I'll go."

He looked as if he might protest, but he did as I said.

'_I'll call for you if it's...'_ I began, finding myself unable to phrase the ending to that statement in any way that I could actually make myself say.

I joined Bulma a little further off. At first I was confused. She was standing in front of a huge hunk of metal, not the broken body of a child. I forced the thought from my head, unable to stand thinking of it.

"It's a piece of the gravity control pillar," she said uncertainly, "And it's mostly undamaged..."

A rush of instinctive foreboding flooded through me.

"Stand aside," I said. The woman obeyed, and I approached the charred piece of metal hesitantly.

I hooked my hands beneath the lower edge of it, lifting it a few inches off the ground. Beneath the charred chunk of what had once been the gravity pillar, I saw the tip of a dark tail.

I flung the piece of metal aside quickly, exposing the body of my son.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Going Gold

Chapter 14

**Vegeta**

"No..." I breathed, looking down at Tesserot's burned, beaten form, the image taunting my mind, which was more or less completely blank.

I was aware of Bulma beside me, and then she blocked my view of my son, kneeling and placing a hand tentatively on the side of his cheek.

"He's not dead," she informed me, her eyes and hands examining the child quickly, "But he's damn lucky he's not... If he doesn't get a senzu in him soon..."

She looked at me, and I must have been staring into space because she snapped her fingers sharply to get my attention.

"Senzu... Right." I said shakily, doubting I could get my head on straight enough to fly.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped.

'_I'll go.'_ Kakarot said from behind me. I hadn't even sensed him approach.

"One of you stay with Gohan," he made a gesture with a hand in the general direction of his eldest son, meeting neither of our gaze. His bangs shadowed his eyes, and I wasn't sure what expression I would see in them if they weren't hidden.

With that, he teleported, and the clipped, emotionless tone of his voice stayed ringing in my ears. I hadn't heard him speak so flatly and forcibly in years. It had been a long time since masking his emotions had been of much importance.

Bulma left without a word, obeying Kakarot's command to see to Gohan, perhaps because she knew it was very unlikely for me to move from Tesserot's side. Whether because I couldn't bring myself to leave him or because I was still too shocked to move.

And so I was alone with my thoughts, and while most of my fear was for Tesserot, many of my thoughts were of Gohan. Why had he even been here when the explosion happened? How had he known where Tess was when I myself had not? Had him being there made a difference; and, if he hadn't been there, would Tess not even be alive right now? Did he know, when he went in to save his younger half-brother – as I assumed had been his intent – that this would happen? Did he know he would be unable to escape the blast?

_If I had just been there..._ I thought furiously. But what would I have done? I was bed-ridden and ill not eight hours ago, and even if I hadn't been, would I have even been able to help? Would _anyone_ have stood a chance of escape?

_Yes,_ my thoughts insisted, _If Kakarot or I had been there, it would have been easy to..._

I hesitated, remembering what Bulma had said about Kakarot's heart. How high had the gravity been set? How long had it taken for the gravity room to combust? How quickly would either of us have been able to think under the circumstances?

_At least Kakarot would have been able to do _something,_ I was stuck inside quarantined when this happened._

But Kakarot hadn't been there. I felt a momentary flash of anger, impulsively wanting to direct the blame away from myself, to fume and rage at Kakarot for being so inattentive, for forgetting about his son. But then I caught myself. This wasn't Kakarot's fault, it wasn't anyone's fault. And turning the blame on my mate would only make me feel worse.

I sat down in the grass, somehow exhausted though I didn't know why. I watched the unsteady, shallow rise and fall of Tess's chest through his singed shirt as he breathed instinctively, willing it to keep rising and falling, to keep my son alive.

Kakarot materialized behind me. He said nothing, and barely made eye contact as he handed me a senzu without a word and disappeared again, bringing the second to his eldest son.

_I hate it when he's like this,_ I thought, _The silent treatment. He doesn't do it on purpose, and he didn't used to do it at all... _

I carefully sat Tesserot in my lap so I wouldn't choke him with the senzu bean. He would be unable to swallow it while unconscious, of course, and while I chewed the medicine into a pulp, I thought of my mate, how he was cutting himself off from us right now.

Kakarot's behavior was a relatively new thing. He didn't used to embrace silence much at all. In fact he was an insufferable chatter box back in the day, but certain things, certain circumstances, changed him. Now keeping silent was the only way he was able to keep calm, and I was sure that past the straight face and emotionless voice, he was in full-on panic mode right now.

I spat the green pulp into my hand and gently opened Tess's mouth, placing the ground-up senzu inside.

Once the automatic reflex of his throat caused him to swallow, I waited for the bean to work its magic.

Gradually, the second-degree burns and dark bruises receded from his skin, as his eyes fluttered slightly before opening a fraction of an inch.

"Tesserot?" I asked quietly.

His dazed eyes blinked and opened wide, "_Tӫtka,"_ he whispered, hugging me around my chest, his shoulders shaking with silent sobbing, "I-I was so s-scared..." he said into my shirt.

My fingers ran through his hair slowly, a comforting motion instilled by an instinct to protect.

"It's alright, Tess," I murmured, "You're alright..."

He tensed suddenly, breaking away and looking at me,"Gohan! Is he...? Is he okay?"

"I... I don't know..." I said honestly, "Your father's with him."

"I have to see if he's okay," Tess said fervently, trying to get to his feet.

"Tess, you're hurt," I protested, "You've got little or no energy and you're lucky to even have that..."

"I know, but if he... if he's hurt or..." Tess stammered, "If something happened to him it's my fault, and -"

"It's _not _your fault." I objected, "Tesserot, look at me. None of this is _your_ fault. Gohan knew the risks he was taking, you had nothing to do with it."

I would not allow my son to bear that same guilt I'd forced myself to bear when my planet was destroyed. Somehow I'd always convinced myself it was my fault, and only years later did I realize it had had nothing to do with me.

Tesserot's eyes narrowed slightly, "Why past tense?"

I blinked, "What?"

"Why do you say he 'knew' the risks he was taking as if he's not...?"

"Gohan will be fine." I said shortly, knowing what Tess was assuming,.

_He'd better be fine..._

X

Gohan was alive and awake, but something was wrong. He hadn't snapped back to awareness like Tesserot had, he still seemed exhausted and his gaze was bleak and slightly unfocused.

Kakarot lay his eldest on the sofa at Capsule Corp; it was closer than home. Gohan's injuries were taking longer to fade, and it was almost like the senzu was working in slow motion.

"It might be his age," Bulma muttered, out of earshot of Kakarot and his sons as she spoke to me in the kitchen, "He's only half-Saiyan, and it might be taking longer for the senzu to work because his system is working slowly."

"But Gohan's not old," I argued, "He's barely over thirty years..."

Bulma shook her head, "He's not like you and Goku. He doesn't have limitless energy. And haven't you noticed he's been a lot more laid-back nowadays?"

Honestly, I'd been so preoccupied with the events of the last thirteen years that I'd barely stopped to think about Gohan, and if I had, I doubted I would have thought of him as aging. To me he always seemed to be that same nineteen-year-old kid who kissed me when I was pregnant with Tess and confused by hormones, who'd taken a devastating hit from his enraged father for it and had forgiven him easily. And I could still remember when he was a scared little six-year-old standing on the battlefield between me and victory, telling me to leave his Daddy alone.

I sat unsteadily in a chair, resting my forehead in my hands.

"He will heal, though?" I asked the woman.

She shrugged, "He should. He's got Saiyan blood and senzu beans are powerful things. He should be perfectly fine once it finishes its job."

She looked at me and added, somewhat sharply, "And then you can thank him for saving your son's life."

I blinked and looked up at her.

"If Gohan hadn't been there, Tess would have gotten crushed by the gravity pillar falling. He wouldn't have lived long enough to see the explosion in the first place."she went on.

"How do you know that?"

"Because he told me so himself," she said, "When he woke up the first thing he did was explain what happened."

I returned to the living room, and was slightly surprised to see more people than before. Goten was there with Kísta in his lap; and Trunks, Veito, Pan, and Videl were all gathered around the sofa where Gohan was lying. Kakarot and Tess not far away.

"What's going on?" I asked perplexedly as I took my place next to my mate.

Kakarot glanced at me, and I was startled to see his eyes were hollow and pained.

"Gohan is..." he began. His voice was no longer flat, but choked and quiet, almost a whisper.

"What?" I demanded as he broke off.

"...He's dying," Trunks said solemnly, as Kakarot dropped his gaze to the floor.

"N-no... he can't!" I protested, "Bulma said -!"

"Vegeta," Gohan said softly, reproachfully.

I stopped, forcing myself to look at him, hating the stubborn tears gathering in my eyes.

"Why?" I asked; my voice sounded alien to me.

"The effort it took..." Kakarot said, and there was a tone in his voice that would have sounded like anger under any other circumstance, "To withstand that level of gravity...to lift something as heavy as the control tower... to survive that kind of explosion..." he cut himself off again.

"It drained his life-force," Trunks supplied,"It ate straight through his ki reserves and started feeding off the energy he needs to live."

"But... but we can wish him back, right?" I demanded, "An explosion isn't a natural cause of death, so -"

"But it wasn't the explosion that did it," Trunks explained, "It's his life-force draining itself away. There's nothing we can do."

"Dad," Gohan said, and Kakarot's head instantly snapped up, his gaze fixed on his son.

"Both of you," Gohan added, the tilt of the head he directed at me indicating he meant me as well.

Kakarot moved shakily to sit on the floor next to Gohan, and I joined him there after a moment's hesitation.

I expected Gohan to speak first, though I wasn't sure what he wanted to say to both of us. But Kakarot broke in before he could, and the two words he spoke were so quiet and full of shame that I almost didn't hear.

"Forgive me," he whispered, a solitary tear escaping between his lashes and tracing down his cheek.

Gohan blinked once, "For what?"

"For ev-everything," Kakarot said, "Everything I did to you... when I wasn't there for you... when I asked too much of you... when I was too blind to stop once in a while and listen to the stories of a four-year-old boy... when I couldn't protect you... and when I hurt you... Gohan, forgive me..."

A sad smile came to rest on Gohan's face, "It's okay, Dad... I forgive you. I never blamed you for any of that..."

Kakarot's hand reached up quickly to cover his face, but not before I saw the sparkle of tears.

"Now. Listen to me," Gohan said, "Both of you."

I met his eye, and was surprised by the peacefulness in his gaze, the wisdom beyond his years.

"I know you're upset, that you think it isn't fair for me to leave you... But I'm not afraid. I've died before, and so have both of you... and you know it's not the terrible thing most people make it out to be."

There was a second of silence.

"Father," Gohan turned his gaze to Kakarot, "I'm proud of you."

Kakarot blinked, as if he found the statement to be a little backwards. I know I did.

"Don't give me that look. I'm allowed to be proud of my Dad. You've done a lot for me, and for the world... And you've come a long way in recent years... I'm proud to be your son."

Kakarot's voice sounded thick with emotion when he spoke, "I'm proud of you too, Gohan. And I love you."

"I know." Gohan said quietly.

If that's what he said to his father, tied to him in blood and the bond of years of unconditional love, I had no idea what he intended to say to me. I honestly had no idea why he'd called me to the side of his deathbed in the first place. I wasn't technically his family, and we'd been bitter enemies in another life.

"Vegeta," Gohan said, looking at me, "I know you don't think I have much to say to you, but I want you to listen, alright?"

I nodded uncertainly.

Gohan swallowed, as if all this talk was taxing on his remaining strength, "I wanted to say that as far as I'm concerned you're the closest thing to a parent I have apart from Dad. I chose you over my real mom to be that, and you haven't let me down... You've treated me like a son and a friend, and I wanted to thank you for putting up with everything that's happened lately."

"Of course," I said unsteadily.

His gaze broadened to encompass everyone gathered around him, now including Bulma, who'd come from the kitchen and was now leaning on Videl's shoulder, crying.

"I'm sorry it has... to be this way..." he said softly. He looked at each of us in turn, the light fading from his eyes as his breathing became more shallow.

"Gohan..." Kakarot implored, his voice raw and strained.

"I'll see you again..." Gohan murmured, leaning his head back against the pillows.

A small smile graced his face, and as he looked at his family, as the last drop of his life-force drained, his eyes closed for the last time.

TBC

_((*Dodges pitchforks and torches thrown by readers* I will not apologize for my angst, guys, this is part of my plot. You can't have a good story without a little death. And, sad though it is, it was a lot of fun to write. I hate the cliché and rushed stuff in here, but some of this is actually good writing and I'm proud of it._

_Thanks for reading and reviewing, as always, and I promise I'll update again when I can, my inspiration's been a little on-and-off lately._

_-Shinsun))_


	15. Chapter 15

Going Gold

Chapter 15

**Tesserot**

It took a long time for the reality of the moment to sink in. Gohan was gone. Dead. He wasn't coming back. My brother wasn't coming back.

It seemed unreal, impossible; Gohan was always there. Steadfast and reliable, always there to be counted upon. He couldn't just... _stop_ being there.

I glanced at Bulma and Videl adjacent to me. Both were in tears, grief evident, sobbing on each others' shoulders. Strangely, I didn't cry. I always thought you were supposed to cry when someone dies. It seemed the expected thing to do in times of sorrow.

But the sorrow hadn't registered yet. All I felt was shock. And... a little bit of betrayal. How could Gohan just leave? "_I'll see you again_" was hardly a goodbye, hardly a condolence for his passing.

Abruptly, Dad stood up, his back to me. To anyone else it may have looked like he'd just gotten to his feet without reason, but I – and anyone else with ki-sensing abilities – could feel his energy rising rapidly, channeling out the denial and despair and focusing into a single point of emotion. Rage. I'd never felt something that so purely described the word, never seen its definition. What did he have to be angry about? Where were his tears, like the rest of his family? Where did this cold fury come from?

I watched _Tӫtka _get to his feet slowly, concern and then panic evident on his face as he read his mate's expression. An expression left up to my imagination, as I could not see Dad's face.

Gohan had explained once that when Mom and Dad spoke telepathically, he could hear a faint buzz in the back of his head and it made his temples ache a little. He had suspected it was because _Tӫtka _ had half-marked him years ago and he still bore some connection to him.

Well, I couldn't feel any buzz, but I could clearly see _Tӫtka's _expression change several times, as if he were holding a conversation without words.

Then, without explanation or so much as a word, Dad vanished, teleporting, and my mother's hand shot out to grab his wrist before he did, disappearing along with him.

My gaze fell on my eldest brother again. Dead. Gone. I felt an ache in my throat, and I had a hard time swallowing. _My fault._... It was clearly my fault that this had happened. After all, Gohan had come after me when the Gravity Room malfunctioned.

I thought about my parents' sudden disappearance. It wasn't like it was uncommon for them to take off together without saying why. But I'd never seen my dad so angry before, especially not directed at something that shouldn't have triggered such a sudden burst of rage.

XXX

**Vegeta**

There was a moment of silence as the shock of Gohan's death sank in. I was aware of the women Bulma and Videl sobbing, of Veito silently shedding tears, Pan asking quietly why her Daddy wasn't waking up. No one answered her. I'll admit I felt like crying too, or at least I had... until I saw the look on my mate's face.

I'd seen him enraged before, probably worse than this, the worst was when he was trying to strangle me when I disconnected his mating mark, a lifetime ago.

But it had always been red-hot rage, burning, fiery anger righteously directed at a just cause... Or maybe not so just, but I could always see why he had reason to be angry.

This was different. It wasn't burning rage, it was cold fury. Empty, icy, bitter and stinging.

He got to his feet suddenly, and I could feel his power rising, his emotions swirling and simplifying, crunching down into a single knotted mass of ire.

My thoughts instinctively reached out to him, seeking to comfort or at least calm him down.

_'Kakarot?'_ No answer, nothing, it took me a moment to realize he'd completely walled his mind off from me.

I tried to read his expression from where I was, kneeling next to Gohan's deathbed. His eyes chips of flint, hollow. His mouth a hard-set line that gave nothing away. It was as if he were carved from stone.

I wasn't sure which scared me more; this lack of expression, of _anything_, on his face... or the skyrocketing power level that felt ragged and raw with unfathomable loss and blind fury.

_'Kakarot!'_ I forced my thoughts at him, hammering on the barrier he'd thrown up. I managed to dent it, but he still gave no response save four quiet mental words, deep in the maelstrom of his mind.

'_Got to... get away...'_

I felt him gather his ki to teleport, and my hand automatically shot out to grab his wrist.

'_Kakarot, DON'T!'_

I disappeared along with him, not caring about anyone else around me, not caring that he possessed the power to kill me several times over right now. Not caring that I had no idea where he thought he was going. And, I suspected, neither did he.

X

I reappeared, surprised to find myself still moving at a considerable velocity before I collided with the hard ground. It dawned on me that Kakarot had thrown me from him, tried to shove me away.

I rolled onto my side agilely, glancing around at the surrounding landscape. It was dry, dusty, endless expanses of orange-beige towers of craggy rock, beneath the dusky sky fading to a spectacular indigo. What had possessed Kakarot to bring us here?

I jumped as he spoke from above me – as I was still crouched on the ground, not thinking to stand. His voice was unrecognizable, and I almost shivered with trepidation. This was not the man I loved, this was a stranger. A powerful, dangerous stranger.

"You recognize this place." he said bluntly, more a statement than a question.

My eyes gave the area a once-over again and I nodded, unsteadily getting to my feet.

"Of course." I could hear the note of fear in my voice, and I knew he heard it too.

He said nothing else, but I knew – without reading his thoughts – that we were thinking the same thing.

This was the place where we'd first met.

I looked at him, trying to see the Saiyan warrior I'd clashed with ages ago, the brave Earthling who'd defied my attempts to kill him and his planet and had brought me to surrender. The same face, the same person... and yet worlds away from how he'd been back then. Worlds away from how he'd been this morning, even. Just hours ago.

He took a few steps away from me, tail swinging with barely suppressed emotion still trapped under the surface of this glass facade of indifference.

"This is where you nearly killed my son," he muttered. I winced, I'd almost forgotten Gohan had fought here as well.

"Six years old," he went on, still not facing me, "And you were ready to send him to an early grave."

I dropped my gaze to the ground, "To my greatest regret, Kakarot." It felt almost wrong to call this stranger by the name of my mate, but I forced myself to remember that my mate was right in front of me. The stranger was of my own imagining.

He ignored me. I wasn't all that surprised. I seriously doubted he'd come here to listen to reason.

"Six years old," he repeated, turning to face me, "And he would have died. A child, even wished back with the dragonballs, forever haunted by the memory of being murdered."

_But that didn't happen._ I wanted to shout, I wanted to force him to listen to me, to come back. I'd seen him angry – fifty shades of rage and everything in between – but I'd never seen him like this. I could feel his warped energy stabbing at my skin, pricking at my mind, and yet his hair remained dark. How could his power be so high if he hadn't ascended at all? Like this entire situation, it was unnatural.

"Kakarot," I reproached, taking a hesitant step toward him.

"You don't know why I let you call me that, do you?" he snapped. I might have flinched, but I held myself still. As if motion would provoke him. _To what? Attack his mate? He'd sooner die, and he knows that!_

But did he? I was fairly certain he didn't even know we were here, now, and not there in the past.

I left his question rhetorical though, unsure if it was meant to be so.

"Kakarot, I know you're upset about Gohan dying, but -" I began.

His power spiked sharply, rising in a great jagged bolt that bleached his hair gold and turned his eyes to ice.

"_As if you could relate!"_ he shouted, golden tail a slashing whip, lightning crackling like so many hungry white serpents. I instinctively backed away several steps, primal terror racing through my veins.

"As if you ever cared for anything," Somehow these quietly drawn out words were more cruel and cold than the harshly shouted ones, "As if you ever watched your son die. Felt loss. Memories. _Love_ torn to pieces."

In the moment, that four-letter word I'd heard him utter so often with a gentle smile became the blade of a knife.

"As if you ever lost something important to you."

"I have -!" I protested, reminded quite suddenly of when I first told him I was pregnant. How he'd called me a liar and pushed me away, telling me to "fuck off" and snarling. The resemblance to this instance now was startling.

"AS IF," Kakarot interrupted, rough emphasis and anger coloring the two words into a shout, "You ever looked at the face of someone you love with all your heart," his tail lashed once, "And saw that they were gone. That you couldn't see them anymore."

My voice rose to a shout as well, "That's exactly what's happening to me _right now!"_

That brought him up short, and he blinked at me with hard, cold eyes.

"Kakarot," I said slowly, a shaky hand reaching out and tracing his cheek, "Please come back to me... I can't see you anymore..."

I closed my eyes, waiting for him to shout again, to turn away, to shove me. His power did not diminish, in fact it climbed ever higher.

I felt a drop of something hot and wet touch my fingertips. My eyes opened gradually, and I saw his face streaked with tears. Blonde bangs shadowing his eyes, which were squeezed shut, tears leaking between golden lashes.

Carefully, I approached my mate, feeling the raw, burning energy still swirling around him, a tangible aura of fire and sorrow. My tentative hand moved from his cheek to the back of his neck, bringing his face down to my level and letting my lips embrace his. A gesture of soothing, reassurance, and love.

_'I'm sorry...'_ whispered through his mind, '...shi-kḁdria... _I'm sorry...'_

My arms encircled around him, and I could feel him shaking with silent sobs. Slowly, he sank to his knees, and I knelt with him, still holding him close.

I stroked a hand comfortingly down his back, gently kissing his wet cheeks, saying without words that I understood.

It was rare for our roles to reverse themselves. For the protected to become the protector, for the guardian to become the guarded; the fearless to become the fearful. But the bond went both ways; and both ways it went deep. And it meant we would forever understand each other, protect each other, bring each other back when we were lost.

Again, I had to wonder how I ever lived without that.

"I did it again, didn't I?" Kakarot muttered into my shirt, not raising his head.

'_You did.'_ I conceded mentally, still stroking up and down his spine, '_You scared me, Kakarot.'_

"I'm sorry." he said quietly. '_I just... I didn't know what to do... what to feel...'_

'_I know... I felt the same way...'_ I admitted, '_He was like my son too...'_

"I...I'm not used to losing people I love..." Kakarot murmured.

"Be thankful for that," I said, "It never gets any easier."

He blinked at me, his eyes still bright blue, but softer somehow. Still leaden with grief, and now exhaustion.

'_How do you...?' _ he began.

"I lost my entire race... my family..." I sighed, "So did you, but you didn't _know_ them. Didn't build memories around them... see their faces in your dreams..." …'.._.sordid nightmares_...'

Something akin to pity lit his eyes for a moment before he dismissed it.

I knew I had felt the same as Kakarot when the realization that Gohan was gone had sunk in. But he had reacted differently. It was common knowledge that his first instinct was anger nowadays, but this time the anger had had no source, and so it had no fuse to burn from. It became something colder, darker, and it flickered out rather quickly. I was glad for that, but if I had to choose between this icy fury and the familiar justified, burning rage... I'd choose the latter, even if it meant Kakarot would be on the verge of tearing someone's limbs off.

Better to lose an arm or leg than to lose all semblance of my mate to a cold stranger.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

_((Gods, I keep using other people's lines because they fit too well in my fanfictions. Obviously the line "what's in a name?" is from Romeo And Juliet (just saw the play at Shakespeare theater, it was amazing)... for some reason this chapter was hard to write... ))_

Going Gold

Chapter 16

**Vegeta**

After a long, silent moment, I spoke.

"Why do you?" I asked, remembering something he'd thrown at me while blinded with fury.

Kakarot blinked in confusion, his eyes and hair had faded back to black a while ago.

"Why do I what?" he sounded uncertain.

"Why do you let me call you Kakarot?"

_You don't know why I let you call me that, do you?_ I remembered how he'd snapped the words defensively, as if accusing me. I figured it was better to bring it up now when he was calm than when he was so angry, I might get a serious response instead of a retort.

He sighed, sitting back and looking at the darkening sky.

"A lot of reasons, I guess." he said quietly, his tail stirring up the dust a little as it flicked with thought, "You never called me anything else... there were a lot of people who called me Kakarot, but they're all dead now. Only my enemies did for a long time, and then they died; either by my own hand or something else. So I guess I never stopped you, because you were the only one who called me that and lived."

I thought about this. It was true I'd been Kakarot's enemy for a time, and it was also true that his friends had always called him by his Earth-name, even when they learned of his true heritage. And he still answered to it, even though he himself now knew who he really was.

For the longest time I thought he'd rejected that heritage, though... Why bring up a memory he was trying to forget by letting me call him by his original title? All his other relations treated the name like a swear word, and sometimes scowled at me when I used it. Not anymore... I wondered what had changed.

"There was another reason," my mate went on, "I guess... even back then, it made me feel special. Like I was more than the people around me, maybe even better than they were. I know you stuck with my birth-name because you thought it befitted a Saiyan... and I guess after a few years I started to agree with you. Now... when I look in the mirror, I'm not sure if I see Goku or Kakarot anymore... I'm not sure who I_ want_ to see..."

"Why make it so complicated, though?" I asked, "What if you're not one or the other, but both? It's just a name, after all."

'_But what's in a name?'_ he murmured mentally, almost wistfully.

"It's not just about what I'm called," he said softly, "I almost feel like I am two people. Like I have two sides of myself, or something... ChiChi said I was becoming bi-polar enough times..."

I had to admit, Kakarot was a bit of a contradiction. Not so much now; but he used to be a nearly perfectly two-sided coin of a person. He was simple, happy, innocent, and at the same time brutal, powerful, a cunning Saiyan warrior. It seemed he lost that happy-go-lucky side of himself over time, did that mean he had lost one entity and become the other? I couldn't say if I knew, and I doubted he did either.

XXX

**Tesserot**

Gohan was buried the next day. There was no way for him to be wished back since he'd died of natural cause, so Bulma arranged a funeral and he was laid in a grave just outside West City. Dad had said he wanted the place of his burial to have some significance, but Bulma had reminded him that the only places that were really significant to Gohan's life were either his home or some battered wasteland where he'd fought a villain of some sort. And old battlefields didn't make very good graveyards -except for those killed during the battles, obviously - so the verdict was set on a peaceful little cemetery in the countryside. The service was rather short, I think, but every single one of Gohan's friends showed for it. Even ChiChi. I barely recognized her – but then, it had been years since I'd seen her and I was only a baby at the time. I knew it was definitely her though, because everyone around her disregarded her for the most part, or else said something in a terse undertone before walking away. I think it was interesting how many of Dad's friends had supported him in his decision to leave her, but I supposed it was none of my business either way.

In a word, the woman was hysterical. I'd been told how protective she had been of her children in years past, and when she sobbed over her dead son's grave, most everyone ignored her...

Except Dad.

I didn't catch what was said initially, but I could tell from his expression it wasn't meant to be words of comfort. ChiChi stood then, and looked at her ex-husband, tears pouring down from her dagger-like eyes.

She shouted something involving the words "insensitive" and "blame"... and I had to wonder if she was accusing Dad of having something to do with Gohan's death.

Which reminded me that it was actually my fault. I shook off the guilt for a moment in favor of curiosity. I hadn't seen Dad interact with his ex before that I could remember. There was obviously still a lot of tension and anger between them, even after Dad had mentioned that ChiChi had given up on them getting back together.

Dad didn't shout, but he said something in an undertone that made the color drain from the woman's face and her eyes widen in rage. She started shrieking unintelligibly again, but Dad just gave her a scathing look and walked away, his black tail lashing.

_Isn't a funeral a time for sorrow and remembrance, not anger and shouting?_ I thought ruefully.

I sighed and sat down on a bench nearby, thinking of how this whole mess wouldn't have even happened if it wasn't for me. Gohan had risked his life to save me, and that's just what it had cost him in the end. He had paid for my mistakes, and here I was, alive when he wasn't. I wished I could apologize to him for that, but now I'd never have the chance.

I remembered what Trunks had said about demi-Saiyans having shortened lives. At the time it had seemed a curse for them to live such a short time, but I saw now that it wasn't. It was a curse for those with nearly immortal longevity to have to stand by and watch as they died. How long before Goten and Trunks went the same way as Gohan? How long before I became the eldest brother because there was no one left before me?

I was pulled from my reverie as Veito sat down next to me, his dark eyes seeking mine out.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

"Fine." I said shortly and not too honestly.

"_Tӫtka _was worried you would blame yourself," he went on, flicking his two black bangs out of his face.

"So he sent you to check on me?" I muttered.

"No, I sent myself." Veito said simply. Coming from anyone else it would be a retort, but somehow he made the words seem like an unbiased observation.

"I just..." I said slowly, "I feel like it really is my fault Gohan died... If it wasn't for me -"

"If it wasn't for you, where would I be?" Veito interrupted, "How many times have you defended me when there was no one around and gotten help when I... you know..." he trailed off; it was rare for him to speak of his attacks so calmly, or at all, but he was really trying to convince me I had done no wrong.

"But this isn't about that, it's about Gohan." I said stubbornly.

"He was protecting you," Veito insisted, "What would you have done if the situation was flipped? What if it was me stuck in that gravity chamber and you had to get me out? What if it was Pan or Kísta?"

"If I had to do that, it wouldn't kill _me,_" I said through gritted teeth.

"You sure?" Veito asked, his expression serious, "How high was the gravity set? Are you sure you would have been able to take it?"

I thought about it. Though I wanted to defend my ego and say I could pull off at least what Gohan had, I seriously doubted I could have. I was paralyzed when the gravity went above even sixty times, how would I have handled a hundred and fifty? And Gohan had to hold up that enormous pillar too. It was amazing he had even survived long enough to get us both out.

Veito seemed satisfied he'd rendered me silent, knowing he'd convinced me.

"Did you see Dad fighting with that woman ChiChi?" he asked.

"Yeah," I nodded, "But I didn't hear what they said."

"I did. She was crying over Gohan and he went up to her and said '_It's always like this. You don't realize you're wrong until it's too late to fix it.'"_

I sat back, listening. Veito rarely spoke this much to anyone except me. I think he was more confident with his words when he was with me, and that was gratifying.

"...So then she got up and gave him this hateful glare and she just shouted about how it was insulting to speak ill of the dead and that she blamed Dad for 'brainwashing' Gohan and forcing him to leave his own mother."

"Well that makes sense," I muttered, "Everything I've heard of that woman says she's delusional."

"Anyway, Dad got this furious look on his face and just said all quietly '_Tell that to him.'_ Obviously he meant Gohan; he meant it was too late for ChiChi to win him back over."

_Ouch._ I thought, wincing. I didn't know Dad had it in him to turn such simple words into weapons. It was almost cruel, except the woman had asked for it.

"And then she started shrieking about what a terrible father Dad was, and how he'd betrayed his own son, how he never thought of what was best for him, you get the idea. Then Dad just walked away, and ChiChi was asked to leave."

"By who?" I asked.

"By Goten. Though I'm pretty sure Bulma would have said it if he didn't."

I thought of that from the woman's perspective; to find one of her sons dead only to have the other reject her presence. I almost felt sorry for her; or I would, if she hadn't said such horrible things to Dad.

XXX

**Vegeta**

Kakarot was angry again. I had just gotten him calmed down the night before and then that bitch ChiChi had to stir up trouble again. I had thought that when she said she was giving up on getting back together with him, she would leave him alone. Apparently I'd forgotten how much those two had argued before the woman decided she wanted him back. Since she no longer cared about being with him, she had more of an excuse to hate him for leaving her.

And apparently it was mutual. Something the woman had said had gotten deep under Kakarot's skin, and he'd distanced himself, leaning against the cemetery fence and glaring at the ground as if willing it to open up and swallow the ex-wife he was fuming at.

I went to him, hoping he'd listen to me. I knew his emotions were rubbed raw right now with his firstborn son's death, and his only comfort was the constant of reliable anger. It was something he could count on not to change.

"I know what you're going to say," he muttered as I approached him, his gaze still on the ground.

I blinked, leaning against the fence on his other side and trying to read his expression. There was anger there, yes, but also guilt.

"You're going to say I was stupid for provoking her and I should have just stayed out of it," he went on without looking at me.

"No," I said, "It was a little unwise to start an argument with her, but I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing if I were in your place."

"No one invited her here," he growled, tail flicking irritably.

"Well she's gone now." I reasoned, "And the rest of your family is probably wondering why you stormed off suddenly. Why you're sulking here."

"Don't say it like that."

"But it's the truth," I said, "You aren't Gohan's only relation. His brothers are over there, and I'm sure they could use comfort from their father."

I knew the way Kakarot tended to think, he thought he was the only one in the world who felt the way he did. Honestly it was a little childish, but it wasn't his fault. His emotions went haywire when they were intensified by things like this, and for all his experience, he still had little or no control over them.

"Kakarot," I said slowly, "I know you don't want to talk to anyone right now, but try to think about how your sons feel. Think about Goten. About Tesserot."

"I don't want them to see me like this." he muttered.

"Well they already did," I said.

He fell silent and I watched the swishing of his tail. The fur was fluffed out defensively, and in inhaling I could smell that he was giving off a predatory musk. Not alluring, almost like he was trying to ward something off.

I glanced a ways off at Tesserot, sitting with his brother. Something about his posture was different, and as the wind blew towards me I caught that his scent had changed too.

_It really wasn't Kakarot's fault he got so worked up,_ I thought. Tess probably wasn't aware of it, but he was going through the first stages of reaching maturity. I heard Kakarot growl softly as he caught the scent as well, but I could tell that he didn't know what it meant. He wasn't looking at Tess either, so he didn't know that it was his son that was making him all tense. Simple instinct was telling him something was wrong, or was going to go wrong, and he was reacting to that alone.

I sighed. I sensed trouble would come from this; I just hoped it wouldn't result in the two fighting.

But... I doubted I'd be able to stop them if they did.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Going Gold

Chapter 17

**Tesserot**

I stayed home from school the next day. I couldn't explain it, I just felt really weird. _Tӫtka_ had asked if the reason I wanted to stay home was emotional issues over Gohan's death, but that wasn't it. He asked if I was sick and I said no. Physically I felt okay, but something just felt off; I couldn't say what.

He let me take the day off though, and I was glad for that. Sometimes my parents could be really strict when it came to things like education and training, but sometimes they were more understanding and loosened up. I needed that on a day like today.

For the most part, the morning was uneventful. I spent some time just sitting in my room trying to figure out exactly what was making me so edgy... without success.

I just felt like there was something gnawing at me, a lot like hunger, except not in my stomach. I tried eating something, but that gave no relief. I tried to work it off with training – outside, since the gravity room had been blown to bits – but again, my effort was in vain.

At least I wasn't by myself. Veito had his studies this morning, so I had his company once he finished working and his tutor left.

He sprawled lazily across the room from me on his bed, while I sat rigidly on my own.

"So Mom let you stay home?" he asked, flicking his black tail thoughtfully, his equally black gaze on the ceiling above him.

"Yeah." I muttered, "I didn't feel alright this morning... still don't."

"Are you sick?" he asked, still not looking at me, "Did you catch that thing Kísta and the others had last week?"

I shook my head, "I don't think so. I just feel different."

He rolled onto his side and looked at me for a moment, almost scrutinizing.

Then he exhaled shortly and turned to lay on his back again, "You look different too."

I blinked, "How so?"

He shrugged, "Hard to explain... something just seems altered or something."

"Exactly." I nodded, that was exactly how I felt. Like something in me had just shifted.

I heard the front door close as someone entered. I gave myself a moment to recognize the ki signal as Dad's and then turned back to Veito, who was threading his tail through his fingers, lost in thought.

Somehow it seemed quiet since Gohan had passed away. He hadn't been around that often preceding his death, so it didn't make a lot of sense that his absence would be so noticeable day to day, but it wasn't the lack of his presence that caused it; the people themselves were just quieter.

I heard Dad come up the stairs and he paused in the doorway of our bedroom. I watched the progress of his lashing tail, he was unnerved; but by what, I didn't know.

"Ready to go, Veito?" he asked.

My brother sighed and sat up.

"Where?" I asked, even though I hadn't been addressed directly.

"It's been three months, Bulma has to give me another checkup," Veito said tonelessly.

I winced. Veito had been subject to regular examinations to make sure he was healthy and safe, since he was four and he'd had his first real attack. I'd been told his genetic disorder caused his immune system to be drastically low, among other things, but I didn't see why that meant he had to go through all the blood tests and injections and such. They didn't make the attacks stop, and in fact seemed to do nothing at all. I didn't see the point.

"Why should he go?" I muttered, "What's the point?"

Dad blinked at me once, his tail stilling briefly, "The _point_," he said shortly, "Is to keep your brother healthy."

"But he's not." I shot back, "No use pretending, he's never going to magically get better. It's even out of Shenron's hands." Claws. Whatever.

"Tess, that's not -" Dad began flatly.

"Why does he have to keep getting shot full of drugs if it doesn't do anything for him? If you ask me all the trauma might be killing him faster!"

I saw the fur along Dad's tail lift warningly.

"Tesserot how can you say that? How can you think -?" he growled.

I stood up without really thinking, "Maybe that's what you guys want? So you can stop worrying about him all the time?"

"Tess, don't -" Veito began from beside me, and I stepped in front of him, between him and my father.

"I don't know what's gotten into you," Dad said sharply, tail swishing again, "But Bulma's been working hard to help Veito, we should all be grateful -"

My tail raised and snapped in the air, I hadn't commanded it to do so.

"Oh yes, let's all be _so_ grateful," I said sarcastically, "Why don't we just pretend everything's perfect? That we're all just a normal human family and Veito will even survive long enough to -"

"That's enough." Dad growled, the sound reverberating in the enclosed space of the room.

My tail fur bristled angrily and I heard a similar growl vibrate from my own throat; I hadn't ever made such a sound.

"You know what?" I snarled, "You don't care. You don't care about us."

"Tess, please don't -" Veito began fearfully, likely reading the danger level in the room that was growing higher by the moment.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Dad growled warningly.

"Don't I?" I retorted, I wasn't sure where the words were coming from, but I didn't stop myself uttering them, "You think I don't know that I was an accident? That Veito was just a mistake that ended up like a failed experiment? You never cared about us like you cared about _Gohan_ -!"

That was it. I'd crossed the line. With a wordless exclamation of pure rage, Dad's hair flashed gold and he leapt at me, I watched his fingers close around my wrist, and then everything around me vanished.

X

I reappeared, still in my father's grip, in an area I didn't recognize. It was just a bleak expanse of flattened grass and singed, beaten earth. An old sparring ground perhaps.

Dad shoved me from him, shaking his head quickly and stepping back.

"No, not now," he muttered shakily, "... I can't... I thought I had more time..."

I had no idea what he was talking about, but I could still feel the energy throbbing in my veins, insisting I attack something. And a good deal of that adrenaline was itching to vent on my father.

I heard the growl I'd heard before rumbling in my chest again, my tail slashing like a whip.

Dad's turquoise eyes flitted over me for a moment, and right then, they looked almost afraid. But then the fear was swallowed by another, stronger emotion. Anger. The potency of that raw emotion transformed my father's face, until I almost didn't recognize him.

The growl in my throat deepened as I inhaled his scent pouring over me. He wanted to fight. Oh yes, he was burning for it just as much as I was.

I swished my tail sharply, permeating the air with my own scent. My teeth bared themselves, and I didn't question the action; it felt right.

"Don't do this, Tesserot." Dad growled, "Don't challenge me."

I stood tall, bold and unafraid, "Someone had to." I said shortly.

The three words achieved the desired effect, and Dad's lips drew back in a snarl as well, showing half-inch canines bared in primal anger.

I wasn't sure if a single thought in my head right then was actually sane, but I wasn't backing out when every fiber in my body was screaming at me to fight.

TBC

_((Ungodly short chapter, ugh. But I had to write this scene even if my inspiration is mostly flopped right now. I can't write the next bit without starting a new chapter anyway. Can you believe we're at chapter 17 already?_

_Hope this made sense, it seemed a bit skewed in my mind. But then, the sense of reason in any dominant male Saiyan is pretty skewed to begin with, especially when faced with defending the one their instinct is demanding they protect. ….Which seems to be Veito, in Tesserot's case._

_*Long-suffering sigh* I got so wrapped up in Twists And Turns that I keep forgetting to update my other stories, and like I said, my inspiration's been kind of unreliable lately._

_Sorry for such a pathetically short chapter, and thanks for reading and reviewing, as always._

_-Shinsun))_


	18. Chapter 18

Going Gold

Chapter 18

**Tesserot**

I stared my father down, the snarl grafted on my face showing my developing canine teeth, the gesture alone an instinctive challenge. I was past questioning where the sudden rush of violence had come from. All I knew was that there was another male directly in front of me, and that one of us was going to have to back down. Well it wasn't going to be me.

Dad's energy flared, lightning sparking and roiling from his skin as his tail lashed rapidly. I couldn't compete with his level of power – and I knew that – but it wasn't strength that would decide this. I was mirroring his posture, the only difference was that of height and color.

I raised my power as high as it would go, growling low and slashing my tail, trying to match my father's display. It was all show at first, an attempt on both sides to get one of us to step down before things got ugly. There was a threat in the blue ki blast gathering in my dad's hands, but I couldn't sense an actual intent to kill.. yet. I charged my own blast – the infamous Kamehameha, one of the first attacks I'd mastered – pouring my energy into the blinding blue sphere flickering between my palms.

I almost didn't sense the ki that appeared next to us suddenly, and I glanced up warily. Everything was bleached pale blue and white with the two Kamehamehas glowing brightly, so near to each other, and my anger-blurred gaze landed on the form of Veito, standing a few feet away. He was winded, so he must have flown all the way here.

"S-stop!" he panted, "Don't... guys please, stop it!"

I heard a rattling growl shudder from my father's throat, "Stay out of it, Veito. I don't want you to get hurt, just get out of here."

"You'll kill each other!" Veito shouted... I don't think I'd ever heard him shout before.

"This is between me and your brother," Dad snarled, the blue energy flashing in his hands still growing in size and power. There was enough ki in that one blast to reduce the surrounding area to ash and then some. ...and my own was equally strong. I knew in the back of my mind that he was holding back, but like I said, it wouldn't be strength that decided this.

"Stop acting like such _anim-als -!_" Veito began, his voice breaking on the last word. I sensed his ki raising in anger and something else, but the awareness was quickly drowned out.

I could see the taller male across from me within my hazed sense of vision, his teeth bared in a primal snarl, eyes slitted, dyed white with the chaotic energy. I imitated his snarl, shutting everything else out and listening only to the staccato tempo of my pulse throbbing in my ears. Everything was a blur, a whirl of scent and monochromatic light and color, and I felt the energy swirling around me building, felt the ball of blue ki in my hands release, at the same moment as the power level across from me leveled off, the second ki blast firing as well. The two clashed, throwing off smaller bolts of lightning and energy, and somewhere far in the distance, I heard a startled cry ring in my ears.

With a huge explosion, the dual ki blasts that had collided burst in a blinding flash of azure light, I could feel the heat licking at my skin, blazing against my face.

As the dust cleared, I coughed, my heartbeat drumming in my ears. I glanced at my father across from me, but his gaze was somewhere else. I followed his line of sight hesitantly; the quiet felt terrifying after the chaos... and my eyes landed on my little brother in time to see the scorch marks marring his body, the shocked expression stamped on his face; the light vanishing from his eyes as he collapsed.

Utter silence.

I waited for him to get back up, to shake it off. For Dad to react and rush to his youngest son's side, asking if he was okay. For something, anything, to break the eerie silence.

Gradually, my pulse slowed and reality crawled back to me. I could still feel Dad's energy, still dangerously high... but I didn't need the lack of a ki signal to tell me that Veito was dead.

X

For a long moment, both of us just stood there, shell-shocked and speechless, staring at the crumpled body of the tiny Saiyan who had taken... _whose_ ki blast?... head-on. Which one of us had fired the energy that had been the death of Veito? Which one of us was his murderer?

Terror raced through my blood; terror of what I'd done, terror that was only amplified as my dad turned and looked at me. There was so much rage in his eyes that I felt like it could actually reach out and throttle me.

He took one step towards me, a snarl cornering his mouth, and I didn't think.

The scenery fizzed out, everything around me just vanishing, as I teleported for the first time in my life.

XXX  
**Vegeta**

I can't say I didn't see the fight coming. I was all the way in West City when I felt the two ki signatures of my mate and son flare and clash. I was too far away to stop them, and I knew even as I raced from Capsule Corp - where I'd been speaking to Bulma a moment ago - that no matter how fast I flew, I wouldn't make it in time.

The only thought that kept me from giving in to my panic was that I knew Kakarot wouldn't have it in him to seriously hurt Tesserot. There had to be a line drawn somewhere in Saiyan male psychology that told them they were attacking their own son, right? And though Kakarot possessed the power to kill Tess – and everyone else on the planet and this side of the universe, for that matter – in one blow, I knew he had the restraint not to do that.

Still, as I flew as fast as I could for the site of the impending battle, I couldn't help running through the terrible scenarios clamoring in my mind. And surprisingly, though I knew Tess was far outmatched in terms of strength, I feared for both of them. From what I could sense, they both possessed enough ki to mortally wound one another, especially if one or both of them was caught off guard.

_I should have stayed. I knew this would happen, I should have stayed to make sure they didn't go at each other's throats instead of... _I shook off the frantic thoughts, I couldn't change what had already happened.

X

I landed in the middle of a grassy clearing. I recognized it – despite that much of the grass was singed and flattened – as another of the many battlefields I had fought in long ago.

I found Kakarot's energy pretty quickly. He was alone; there wasn't another ki signal to speak of. Where was Tesserot? I'd sensed his ki here a minute ago...

The evidence of the struggle was obvious. The ground was beaten and burned, a huge section of grass completely cleared away, and the scant trees that had the audacity to grow here had been either charred or uprooted. One was severed in a way that was too clean to be the result of anything but a powerful ki blast.

I approached my mate slowly. I found him on his knees, his back to me. His hair was golden, but his ki was low... simmering with emotion. Fear, shame, grief,... _Gods, what happened here?_

I was about to speak, taking another step in his direction, when my gaze landed on something else. Clutched in his father's arms, clearly dead, was the limp form of Veito.

I didn't think. The rush of instinctive maternal rage and the sense betrayal didn't allow for thought. My energy went through the roof as I released a wordless shout of warring fury and loss, and I was scarcely aware of the thick mane of blonde hair flowing down my shoulders and back as I leapt at my mate, landing a brutal punch on the side of his face. His turquoise gaze snapped to meet mine, surprise and pain – and maybe a brief flash of anger – abruptly blotted out by a look of pure self-loathing. He didn't stop me as I took out my rage and despair on him, until I finally caught myself and stopped my fist before it collided with his face again. I was breathing hard, raw emotions still tangling in my veins, but it occurred to me that I had acted without any explanation or thought.

"What the hell happened, Kakarot?" I asked sharply, my golden tail swishing to vent some of the trapped turmoil beneath my skin.

"I – I don't know." he stammered, his gaze falling sadly on the body of his youngest son, now lying in the dirt as I'd jolted it from Kakarot's grip when I attacked him.

"Where's Tesserot?" I demanded, grabbing my mate's shoulders urgently and staring into his listless eyes.

"I don't know!" he repeated; he actually looked scared.

"But he was just here! What happened?" I pressed, shaking his shoulders roughly with the panic slicing in my chest.

Kakarot didn't answer, and the panic just intensified.

"Answer me Kakarot!" I shouted, my grip on his shoulders tightening.

He pulled out of my grasp forcefully, fear evident in his movements and his voice,"Vegeta stop, you're hurting me!"

That made me stop alright. I didn't know it was possible for me to hurt Kakarot; for years he'd been so much stronger than me. I'd forgotten what it was like to be able to do him harm. I glanced at the river of golden hair cascading down my back. Level three. For the moment, I was the strongest being in the entire universe.

I let my breath out slowly, "Kakarot... what happened?"

"I told you, I don't know." he muttered, his eyes downcast, "The whole thing was a big haze, I barely remember anything."

My gaze scanned over his face; I could make out the shadows of blossoming bruises taking form on his skin, a particularly dark one the size and shape of my fist near his jaw. I met his eye apologetically.

"What do you remember?" I asked gently.

"Just that... Tess said something that made me really angry," he said tonelessly, "And then I realized he was challenging me, just like I was afraid he would. I thought...I could stop myself... but I couldn't even see straight..."

"And then what happened?" I prompted as he fell silent; I watched him absently touch Veito's burned cheek with a tentative hand.

"I was going to fight him. I c- I couldn't do anything to stop, I just... charged an attack, and he did too... and then V-Veito stepped in." His voice shook a little as he said his son's name.

"He tried to break it up," my mate went on, "But I wouldn't – I _couldn't_ – listen to him... and right when everything went blurry, he... he had an attack right then and there..."

I hadn't sensed that. In fact, I hadn't sensed Veito's ki at all. It must have been overpowered by the ki that Kakarot and Tess were giving off.

"I'm not sure which one of us fired the ki blast that hit him," Kakarot admitted softly, "But it k-killed him on impact. I tried to stop Tess from running; I knew he would, but he just IT'd away from me... I didn't even know he could do that. And I didn't want to go after him after I'd seen the look in his eyes... he was scared of me."

There was a long moment of silence. I knew we could use the dragonballs to wish Veito back, but the damage was done either way. The child was murdered, and I was sure the trauma would stay with him for life. And I could sense, even if he didn't say it, that Kakarot was afraid.

"And I think..." he said slowly, the utter heartbreak in his voice eliciting a rush of sympathy from me, "...Deep down, somewhere, I think it was me... Either way, I won't let Tess take on that kind of burden. I'm already a murderer, I've killed people before..."

He fell silent for a moment, and when next he spoke, it was in a defeated whisper.

"I just can't believe I lost two of my sons in one week." If it was possible for me to feel any more pity, I would have felt it right then.

"We have to go after Tesserot," I said shortly, standing up straight, "He must be blaming himself, what if he -?"

"I can't." Kakarot interrupted.

"Why not?" I asked, perplexed.

"He... he'll just run away from me again..."

"No he won't," I couldn't provide anything to back that up, but...

"Either way... I doubt I could concentrate my ki enough to teleport or fly anyway." I'll admit, he was pretty shaken up, and his energy level was still fluctuating unsteadily, remaining very low.

"Then I'll go." I said, "Take Veito and go back home, it's not as far. Tell the others what happened and send Trunks and Goten to look for the dragonballs."

He nodded slowly, "Okay..."

I sought out Tess's ki signal quickly. It was easy to find, since it was so high at chaotic, but it was pretty far from here. All the way back across West City.

I turned to take off, and hesitated, glancing back at my mate as he carefully lifted the body of our youngest son, as if handling an injured bird.

"Kakarot," I said, my gaze flitting over the bruises I'd caused on his face and arms.

He blinked at me once.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," I murmured.

For a brief moment, his eyes brightened with compassion, "Don't be. It serves me right; I've done much the same to you plenty of times..."

I turned to leave again, and he added, a different tone in his voice, "...And it was worth it to see you at level three again. You really are beautiful, you know."

XXX

**Tesserot**

It started to rain. I was alone, the spattering drops of water pouring down on me. I knew where I was. This place spoke of death, and as the clouds boiled above me I stood, now drenched to the bone, insignificant beneath the endless gray sky that seemed to mock me with its power.

I couldn't believe what I'd done. I couldn't believe Veito was gone. I couldn't believe I was so stupid.

It was never enough. All my efforts to go beyond and surpass my brother were for nothing. For how long had I tried and tried to ascend and become a Super Saiyan? Just to see the pride in the gaze of my parents that I might never achieve now? How long had I strove for that? For the gold that seemed like dirt to me now.

I remembered why I stood here. I remembered why I thought these things, why I could never go back now. I could never go back to my family's questions and glances, the blame, the whispers... and how would I be able to look Veito in the eye once he was wished back, as he inevitably would be?

As the image of my little brother's broken, beaten body flashed in my mind, I threw back my head and screamed at the heavens.

"Why did you take him away?! Why couldn't it have been _me?____! _Dammit, I'll do anything, just give me my brother back!" _Bring him back... and take me instead._

TBC

_((*Dodges more torches and pitchforks* And you thought I wasn't going to use that teaser from the Epilogue of NIAMY. I did have to change some of the verb tenses and stuff, but that's the same little post-script from the original story with a little added content to make it more accurate. And you'll find out where exactly Tess teleported himself to in the next chapter. _

_Well... this chapter was really a bucket of angst, but it had to be done. And I know I should be feeling sorry for Veito or Tess like the rest of you, but I actually feel really bad for Goku. I mean, he didn't even _do_ anything, and two of his sons just _died_ one right after the other, both in one week. Poor guy. I know they were technically Vegeta's sons too, but Gohan wasn't related to him by blood and he didn't watch Veito die. And we all know how emotional Goku is in this story..._

_Anyhow, thanks for reading and reviewing as always, and I'm going to go to bed before I stay up any later attacking my keyboard. _

_-Shinsun))_


	19. Chapter 19

Going Gold

Chapter 19

**Vegeta**

I don't know what I'd expected; I didn't know where I'd expected to find Tesserot by the time I'd followed his ki to its source. He had just Instant Transmitted for the first time ever, surely he hadn't automatically had a destination in mind? I was lucky he hadn't moved himself all the way across the planet... or even _off_ the planet.

So as you can imagine, I was surprised to find he'd teleported himself directly to Gohan's grave site.

It was raining, the clouds a smudged, dark gray canvas glowering above.

Abruptly, I felt Tesserot's nearby ki spike sharply, higher than I'd ever sensed it before; the tone of the energy even changing slightly, and I blinked in confusion. In the same instant that the familiarity of the ki's timbre registered, I turned around and was nearly blinded by a wash of yellow light.

Though the myriad of energy pouring over me was leaden with so much grief that it nearly made me break into tears, I felt a surge of pride stir in my chest just the same. And as the aura of searing ki balanced out, I beheld my son, outlined in a halo of gold, as strong and regal as a true Super Saiyan should be.

I gave myself a moment to just look at him, awe-inspired and prouder possibly than I'd ever been. And then I noticed that his eyes - while feral and magnificent teal – were awash with tears streaming down his face; that his stance – while powerful and seemingly-confident – was wracked with shaking sobs. And then I reminded myself that he was still a child, scared and vulnerable; and that he'd just lost his little brother.

I staggered on the first step, and then rushed over to him and held him comfortingly to my chest, running a hand protectively through his blonde hair. He flinched, startled, and then took fistfuls of my shirt in his hands and wept against my chest. I purred soothingly, kneeling so that I was at his height.

My son cried uncontrollably on my shoulder for a long while, and I attempted to gradually calm him down, murmuring softly, sometimes in Saiyan, and stroking his hair. Eventually his sobs subsided to silent tears, and he wrapped his arms gratefully around my neck, faltering as his hands came in contact with the long, thick mane of hair I still sported. His beautiful turquoise eyes opened and he blinked; nonplussed.

"_Tӫtka_._..?" _he began in confusion – it took me a moment to realize it was actually fear - shrinking back slightly as his gaze scanned over my browless eyes.

I sighed and let go of the transformation reluctantly. Tesserot's comfort was more important than my bottled euphoria at finally having held level three for this long and having actually been aware of it.

Tess visibly relaxed as I returned to my normal state.

"You got to level three again?" he asked quietly, obviously trying – without success – to direct attention away from his grief-stricken weeping moments ago.

I nodded once and gently took him into my lap, my fingers still automatically threading through his hair.

"Do you get to keep it?"

I hesitated briefly, "...Probably not. Last time..."

I broke off as I saw him looking apologetically at me, his golden tail coiling around his own arm indecisively.

"It's fine, Tesserot." I said.

There was a moment of silence and I added, "I'm proud of you."

He looked puzzled, "What for? I ran away..."

"Using Instant Transmission," I interrupted, "Your father was proud of you too."

Tess shook his head, "He was so angry... he came after me snarling..."

"He wasn't angry with you," I murmured, "He was scared of losing you too."

A glint of sorrow sparked in his blue eyes as he was reminded of his brother's death, and his possible hand in it.

I tilted his chin up with one hand, smiling proudly, "Gods, you look so much like him right now..."

"Who? Dad?" Tess asked bemusedly, "Why?"

I blinked, surprised, "Tesserot have you even _looked_ at yourself?"

He didn't know that he had ascended yet... he didn't know that he'd achieved his one great goal.

He glanced at his own tail as it flicked in front of his face, his eyes growing wide, then he ran a hand quickly through his hair.

"Super Saiyan," he whispered in astonishment.

I nodded slowly, studying the child's face, thrown into high relief with the golden energy eddying around him... so remarkably like his father.

"Can I ask you something, Tess?" I began carefully.

He looked up from examining his blonde tail in fascination to meet my gaze.

"What made you teleport here?" I gestured at the surrounding area, lingering on the place I knew Gohan's grave was located.

He shrugged, "No idea. I've never... uh... teleported before."

"I know, but in order to do it you need to have a specific place or person in mind. Why here?"

Maybe he was subconsciously thinking about when Gohan died... comparing it to Veito's death now?

Eventually he just muttered, "I don't know."

I was about to ask again, to bring some theory or other into light, but I just sighed and put it to rest for now.

"Alright... let's go home."

There was already enough weighing on my mind right now, I didn't need to worry about why Tess had chosen this exact place to teleport in a time of desperation.

X

Tess got tired on the flight home – I wasn't sure if he could teleport again safely... or at all, especially with two of us instead of one; so we flew – and I guessed that the exertion of the day along with the ascension to Super Saiyan for the first time must have drained his energy. He powered down, his hair flickering back to dark chestnut like mine, and nearly fell out of the sky with the sharp drop in ki. Instinctively, I caught him, and reading the exhaustion in his muzzy power level, I decided to let him sleep the rest of the way home. I supported his head on my shoulder as I held him like a small child again, avoiding turbulence and cloud banks to keep the flight as smooth as possible.

As I flew for both of us in silence, it occurred to me that while both Kakarot and Tesserot had been completely beside themselves with grief, my own sorrow over Veito's death hadn't quite caught up to me yet. Except for a brief instant where I'd snapped and all but attacked Kakarot when I found out my youngest son was dead, I had barely reacted at all... Instead tried to comfort my mate and son.

It wasn't that I wasn't saddened by Veito's passing - I was - and it wasn't that I could wish him back with the dragonballs - that didn't erase the fact that he'd been killed...

I supposed I had just become a bit of a peacemaker these days... Stabilizing my lethal mate and emotional son before I allowed myself to succumb to my own feelings. I had always been pretty good at bottling my true emotions, so this probably wasn't too different.

I was greeted solemnly by Bulma as I stepped through the door of my home, Tesserot still supported over my shoulder, and I didn't give myself the moment to wonder why she was here. Night had fallen hours ago and most everyone was asleep.

"Where's Kakarot?" I asked as I paused at the foot of the stairs, turning to face the woman.

"He looked worn out, so I sent him to bed." Bulma replied easily.

"And the boys?"

"Goten and Trunks came back with three dragonballs when it got too dark to keep searching, and they headed home for the night."

I didn't respond verbally, leaving my unsaid question implied; but the woman was good at reading others' body language, particularly mine.

Bulma hesitated, obviously uncomfortable saying what she had to say.

"I had Trunks take Veito's body to the Lookout until the dragonballs were all gathered," she said eventually, "It seemed safer..."

I blinked, "How so?"

"Well considering how Goku reacted if anyone got too close..." she began.

I snapped to attention, "What did Kakarot do?"

She shook her head dismissively, "I don't know, he was just possessive from what I heard from Goten. Showed his teeth at him and growled or something."

I sighed; that sounded like Kakarot all right.

"I mean," Bulma went on, "I know it's his son, but... he doesn't have to be like that."

I shrugged, adjusting Tesserot's weight in my arms, "He does that to me too."

A small smile edged her mouth, "I know. I've seen it, remember?"

I turned to walk up the stairs and threw over my shoulder, "Are you going to stay here tonight, woman?"

"Are you going to kick me out?" she shot back teasingly.

I grunted noncommittally, "Sleep on the couch."

X

Once Tesserot was safely in bed, I checked up on Kísta, who was fast asleep; oblivious to the goings-on today. I was just glad I didn't have to explain to her... it's not easy to tell a one-year-old child that their brother is dead, after all.

And then, exhausted but seriously doubting I could sleep, I slid open my bedroom door and joined my mate in bed.

I was not surprised to find him awake.

His back was to me, his ki twisting with conflicted emotions, and I gently laid a hand on his shoulder.

My heart sank as he flinched in clear response to pain; I'd forgotten about the bruises, and I was surprised he hadn't taken a senzu for them.

Slowly, he sat up and looked at me, his dark eyes burning with something like shame.

"Kakarot, why -?" I began.

"Why can't I cry?" he demanded shakily.

I blinked, completely lost.

"What?" I asked perplexedly, "Kakarot, I've seen you cry multiple times, what -?"

"I mean _now,"_ he interrupted, "I've tried... I've been trying for hours, and I just -"

"Kakarot, why do you want to cry that much?" I asked.

He just looked at me piercingly for a long moment, and I regretted the question.

His tail slashed, "Something Tess said..." he muttered.

"What did he say?" curiosity overtook me, despite myself.

He hesitated, visibly struggling,"He said... I think it was just the hormones talking but -" '..._he said...'_ "I'm not sure if he meant it -" '_...that I didn't care about him and Veito... like I cared about Gohan...'_

The alternating verbal and mental words made my head hurt a little trying to keep up, but a rush of understanding reached me when he fell silent.

"And now..." I said carefully, "You think because you can't make yourself cry over Veito's death...that he was right?"

He exhaled explosively, "...I don't know." '_...Something like that, yes..'_

_'Well I haven't cried over it either,'_ I admitted, '_But that doesn't mean I don't care... it doesn't mean I'm not devastated...'_

He was silent for a long moment, his eyes downcast. Something struck me then that I hadn't noticed before...

"But... Kakarot... why didn't you get so angry this time?"

He blinked at me, "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." I said impatiently, "When Gohan died, you totally lost your mind and went into a rage..."

"Oh, that..." Kakarot muttered, "Well... I think I would have if it weren't for you."

I was startled, "Me?"

He nodded, biting his lip thoughtfully.

He further surprised me when he explained. I'd expected him to say that I'd gotten him calmed down before he could unleash that mindless fury again... what I didn't expect was what came out of his mouth.

"...It was because you terrified me." he said bluntly.

I stared at him, "What are you talking about?"

"You didn't notice?" he asked, "Fuck, you damn near scared me to death..."

He really only cursed like that was he was telling a reluctant truth.

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"Well you attacked me, first of all," Kakarot muttered, "At level three, which I've only seen on you once... for a minute I thought one of the gods had dropped out of the sky to punish me..."

"But..." I began.

"And then you started shouting at me," he went on, "...and when you'd hit me and shook me it actually _hurt_, a lot; and I was afraid for some wild moment that you were going to kill me for doing what I did to Veito... I was even afraid I deserved it..."

He was silent for a moment, then, "... And when I saw you bearing down on me in a rage, so much stronger than me... knowing you_ could_ kill me... I was terrified."

Wow. I didn't know what about that confession surprised me the most. The fact that Kakarot had admitted I was stronger than him, or that he'd actually been afraid I might kill him.

"You were afraid of me..." I said slowly, trying to understand, "Because for a brief moment I was _stronger_ than you?"

He shook his head from side to side absently, "Vegeta... you _are_ stronger than me, not just in physical strength, though that alone was unbelievable..."

"But..." I began, "You said you were afraid I might kill you..."

He shook his head again, this time quickly, "Not that you _might,_" he said, "That you _could_."

"But you know I would never -"

"You're not listening to me," he said exasperatedly.

I was silent for a moment, and played the last few sentences back in my mind.

"You were afraid to die?" I asked.

"...Not quite," he sighed.

Frustration made me sarcastic, "You were afraid I would outrank you and take away your position as dominant?"

He looked like he could have laughed, "Hell no,"

"Then...?" I began... and then his response caught up to me and my mouth dropped open.

"You were afraid... of being sent to Hell?" I asked tentatively.

He averted his gaze slightly from mine, but not before I saw the guilt in his eyes.

"...Why?" I was perplexed, "You said it yourself, before... you've been to Hell before."

"Yes, but..." he broke off and started again, "Never because of something I'd done while alive... never _permanently."_

"And why should that change now?"

His mouth worked soundlessly for a few seconds, and he gave up on verbal response.

'_I... haven't been a very good person lately... I've never had a doubt before about where I would go if I died; especially after I did die twice... but now...'_

"What's different now?" I asked, attempting to meet his eye.

_'I changed so much because of you... for you...And sometimes I feel like such a... such a...'_ he cut himself off, but I could sense where his thoughts had been headed.

_Such a monster._

"So you're a little possessive..." I began unsteadily, "...Okay, a lot... So you cheated on your wife once, so you may or may not have killed your son... That doesn't make you a monster."

"Then what _does?_" he snapped, and I was surprised at his harsh tone.

I started to reply, but then I realized he'd lost me there. There was more to the question than he let on, and I honestly didn't have an answer.

I searched for something to say for a long moment, and when I looked back at my mate's face, it was in time to see a single tear run down his cheek, followed by another. He tried to swipe them away, but they were replaced by more.

'_Well...'_ I said uncertainly, '_You got yourself to cry...'_

I was shocked by the flash of undiluted outrage he directed at me, slamming the doors in his mind closed so suddenly that I almost heard the bang.

On that note, he turned away from me and lay down with his back to me, silently shedding tears.

I was confused. That was what he wanted, right? This whole conversation – was it an argument? - had started when he'd demanded why he couldn't get himself to cry... So why was he so angry when he finally did?

_I'm missing something rather critical here..._ I thought to myself.

"Kakarot...?" I began hesitantly.

He lowered the solid wall he'd erected in his mind long enough to send me two words that were sharp with fury.

'_Shut up.'_

TBC

_((Confused? I'd be surprised if you weren't. I might have a little more plot for this story than I thought... hmmm... And those of you who are reading Twists And Turns are probably closer to figuring this out than those of you who aren't. _

_Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing, you lovely people._

_-Shinsun))_


	20. Chapter 20

Going Gold

Chapter 20

**Vegeta**

By the time the seventh dragonball was gathered the next day, it was about noon. I looked for Kakarot to tell him it was time to go and summon the dragon, but he was nowhere to be found.

_Probably disappeared to blow something up..._ I thought uneasily, _It certainly wouldn't be the first time..._

I wanted to go after him to make sure he didn't get into trouble, but I had a duty to Veito as well, and as far as Kakarot's destruction of property went, he knew where to draw the line. Besides, if he were in danger, I would sense it in his ki.

_It's better for him to burn off steam alone anyway, otherwise he bottles it up..._

So I reassured myself as I left with Tess and the demis for the Lookout; Trunks and Goten supporting the dragonballs between them. I'd left Kísta at Capsule Corp where Bulma could keep an eye on her... The woman was one of the few I trusted to watch my children anymore, since Gohan had passed.

The young Namek Dende greeted us as we landed, the freaky Popo creature following in his wake.

"You have the dragonballs ready?" Dende asked, coming to a halt and running a green hand over his short antennae.

"Right here," Trunks supplied before I could open my mouth, proffering the satchel he and his half-brother carried.

"Where is Veito?" I asked quietly, the tip of my tail flicking with apprehension.

Dende blinked in understanding, "Follow me."

I did so without a thought; Tess and the demi Saiyans a step or two behind.

I was led to a room with a single white bed in the center, a canopy of filmy curtain above it. Lying there as though asleep was the fragile form of my youngest son; obviously the guardian of Earth had seen to it that Veito would be comfortable when he awoke.

I stood outside the doorway, making a gesture at Goten and Trunks.

"Call the dragon," I ordered, not taking my eyes of my son's lifeless body.

The demis arranged the seven magic orbs on the ground of the Lookout, where the overgrown lizard would have room to appear.

Trunks stood up and raised his voice commandingly, "Eternal dragon Shenron, come forth! By your name I summon you!"

I glanced up as the sky roiled and turned dark as night, a roar filling the air with wind. A beam of yellow light emanated from the glowing dragonballs, streaking into the sky and condensing into the form of the huge serpentine dragon, coiling in the sky above.

"**I have come to grant you one wish," **Shenron bellowed, "**Speak now, so that I may return to my slumber."**

I walked to the demis' side quickly; if anyone was going to wish Veito back, it was going to be me. I owed it to him for leaving him so unprotected when I had known what danger was afoot.

"Shenron!" I shouted, "Our wish is for Veito to be brought back to life. Make it so, and be on your way!"

The dragon rumbled a low growl, "**Very well, it shall be done."**

Its red eyes glowed brightly for a moment, and then faded back to normal, "**It has been set in motion. Now, farewell."**

The huge green creature spiraled through the sky, disappearing in a flash of gold light, the dragonballs rising into the air and scattering once again across the world.

The demi Saiyans almost tripped over me as we all hastened to the room where Veito would be waking up. Tesserot was already there, kneeling at the foot of the bed anxiously, watching his brother's reposed face. The small Saiyan stirred slightly, his eyes squinting before fluttering open.

"Veito..." I breathed.

"You're okay!" Tesserot exclaimed, his dark tail positively wagging with relief.

Veito sat up, touching a hand shakily to his forehead, "Wh-what happened?" he stammered.

"You've been brought back," I said slowly, reading his confusion-hazed eyes.

"Gods...I was dead..." Veito whispered softly.

Guilt flashed visibly in Tesserot's eyes, and he lowered his gaze, "Yeah," he sighed, "But that's all over now."

I was just glad he was alright now. Some of the damage had been repaired, and I hoped that would lead to further positive events.

X

I sent Tess and Veito back home with Goten and Trunks; pleased to see the two boys making amends for the brief rift that had resulted in Veito's death. I returned to Capsule Corp to collect Kísta and share the pleasant news with the woman, but I was barely through the door when I stopped in my tracks.

There on Capsule Corp's state-of-the-art sofa was the all too familiar form of my mate, looking as though he'd passed out right there.

"Woman!" I shouted, surprised the sound of my voice didn't wake the sleeping Kakarot.

Bulma came into the room with an irritable glare, "What? You don't need to shout."

"Why the hell is Kakarot here?" I snapped, making a sharp gesture at the unconscious Saiyan on the couch.

An unnerved look came into her eyes, and I stared her down, demanding information.

"I honestly have no idea," she said slowly, "A couple hours after you guys left he stumbled in here and collapsed without a word. I checked him over... he'd drank enough Jack Daniels to knock out about four elephants..."

I stared at her, at a loss for words. I'd been at the Lookout bringing the son Kakarot may or may not have accidentally murdered back to life, and he'd been _drinking?_

"What did he do?" I asked, prying for more details.

"As far as I know, nothing really. I haven't got any complaints from the bar or anything about the bill...but I think he may have threatened them into silence or something."

"And he came _here_ when he was about to crash?" I demanded, "Why didn't he go home?"

A shifty look came into Bulma's blue eyes.

"Just spill it," I said shortly, impatient.

"I think... I think he was afraid you'd be mad at him when you found out." she said hesitantly.

"Well he was damn right -!" I began heatedly, then broke off; my gaze landing on the exhausted face of my comatose mate, detecting a heavy cloud of alcohol hanging over him, masking his familiar scent.

"...Why?" I asked quietly, "What in the galaxies drove him to doing that?"

She shrugged, worry as evident in her eyes as it was thrumming in my mind.

"I'm taking him home," I said bluntly.

The woman looked at me with something like understanding pity, "You can't. It'd be nearly impossible to fly both him and Kísta all the way across West City...and anyway, he's been through enough."

"You're defending him?" I snapped. I smothered the notion that a large part of me wanted to do the same; to cover my mate's tracks and keep him in the clear with his oldest friend. But I couldn't do that, not until I had the whole story; and that meant hearing it from Kakarot's lips when he woke up.

"He is going to have the worst hangover in the cosmos when he comes to," I muttered. Bulma shot me a glance and I sighed, "Fine. If I can't take him with me, I'm staying here."

"What about Tess and Veito?" Bulma asked, "Veito was just brought back to life, for the gods' sakes."

"They're with their brothers, they'll be fine." I said, flicking my tail decisively, "Goten and Trunks know what they're doing... and I'm most needed here."

_I'm the only one who can control Kakarot in the whole universe,_ I thought, _and the only one who can talk sense into him..._

Then why wasn't I aware of how much of a mess he'd gotten himself into without my help? I knew what his ki felt like when he was drunk; I'd gotten drunk _with_ him once, after all.

Bulma apparently decided she wasn't going to be able to sway me, and she left the room with a sigh, mumbling to herself.

I sat on the edge of the sofa that Kakarot wasn't occupying. My thoughts drifted to what the woman must have been thinking when he staggered unsteadily through her door, eyes wild and smelling of heavy liquor, before passing out on her couch without so much as an explanation. My hands clenched unconsciously into fists on my own knees. _Reckless, careless, irresponsible idiot,_ I thought angrily, tail lashing restlessly, _he'll be lucky if he doesn't die of alcohol poisoning for that little stunt._

I felt myself melt a little as I studied his face through his unkempt bangs. In a lot of ways, he was still a child, prone to making really stupid mistakes without knowing how to get himself out of them. And though every shallow breath he expelled was laden with the bitter odor of liquor, he suddenly seemed to my eyes to be confused and lost, something to be protected.

But what had caused him to...? It couldn't have been what I said to him last night, could it? Granted I had unintentionally made him angry, but it shouldn't have triggered something so drastic... something so unbelievably careless.

I supposed I should have counted myself lucky no one got hurt, but all I could see was that Kakarot was suffering, and trying to find some outlet to... what, make himself stop feeling? Why would he want to do that?

Kakarot was a very passionate person, and numbing himself to the world like this was an extremely uncharacteristic choice for him... and I wondered if I would have been able to stop him if I had been there.

_Seems I'm never there for him when he really needs me to be, _I thought dejectedly, _What kind of mate am I?_

X

A few hours passed, and gradually, Kakarot came back to consciousness. One of his eyes squinted open painfully and a low groan of protest escaped his lips. I quashed a rush of pity, feeling the stabbing pain at the blinding light of the sun and the throbbing of his head as if the sensations were mine.

Finally, he slowly sat up, blinking forcefully before focusing his blurry gaze on me.

On an impulse, my hand drew back and slapped him hard across the face.

"Fuck!" he cursed, reeling from the impact and squeezing his eyes shut.

"Don't think I'll sympathize with you," I growled, "You deserved that, and you know it."

He shook his head quickly to clear it from the blow, wincing as he worked his jaw through its range of motion to be sure I hadn't broken it.

_Considering you're supposed to be his mate, you sure hit him a lot,_ my thoughts chided, and I ignored them. If Kakarot didn't give me so many reasons to want to slap him, then I wouldn't do it as much. It didn't mean I didn't love him with all my heart – far from it – but sometimes he just scared me, and I didn't know what else to do.

"A-alright... I'm sorry..." Kakarot stammered, his eyes still closed tightly against his pounding headache.

"Kakarot," I said with finite patience, my voice shaking slightly with suppressed anger,"Tell me why the hell you went and did that. _Today_ of all days. Your son was just revived, and he didn't even get to lay eyes on his father because you were too busy _drowning yourself in gallons of alcohol_."

His tail fur bristled with a mixture of irritation and shame, and he blinked his eyes open a fraction, though averting them from mine.

"It won't leave me alone..." he murmured softly, self-loathing taunting his upper lip with a faint snarl.

"What won't?" I retorted, not wanting to hear excuses.

"That... anger... from last night... it won't go away..." he grit out furiously.

I raised an eyebrow in confusion, "The same anger that caused you to strangle people – including me – thirteen years ago?"

He nodded shallowly, the motion increasing the migraine that I could sense through our mating bond.

"It's back..." he said mutinously, "It was quiet... for ten years and now it's back."

"Is this the same thing that got you so furious after Gohan died?" I asked.

"No, that was... that was different," he said unsteadily. He broke off and growled, "But why can't I just get rid of it... once and for all?"

I looked at him, observing the fatigue in his eyes and the mixed humiliation and ire accenting his face with a snarl.

"Anger is an emotion, Kakarot. You can't just banish it, it's part of you."

He shook his head slowly, wincing from the sluggishness of his head, "It's not. It's different...It's like s-something possessing me... I can't control it, and I can't stop it fr-from making me hurt people..."

"You never talk about it," I muttered, "How is anyone supposed to know if you just lock everything away from the people who can help... From me...?"

He set his teeth, "You'd think I was insane," he said bluntly.

I glared at him, "Try me."

He kept his gaze on his own hands for a long moment; it took me a second to notice that they were shaking slightly.

"It's a monster..." he murmured, gritting his teeth, "It's a monster in my head that... that pushes me, whispers things... takes over everything I say and do..."

"You can resist it," I cut in, "I know you can. You're strong, Kakarot."

He shook his head fervently, "It's in too deep now... I can't ignore it or make it shut up anymore..."

"Is that why you... did what you did today?" I asked uncertainly.

He inclined his head once, and I could sense in his ki how much he hated himself right now.

"It was better... better to feel numb... to feel nothing... than to feel that helpless..." he stammered, "And I remembered," he swallowed, "When we drank together that one time... I felt so light, like nothing could stop me..."

"So you drank yourself into unconsciousness?" I demanded, not quite understanding that logic... The only effect he'd seemed to create was to make himself feel _worse._

"I didn't... I didn't want you to see me like that..." he said listlessly, "I knew you'd be upset... ashamed..."

'_I could never be ashamed of you,' _I sent to him soothingly, trying to ease some of the unfathomable conflict weighting him down right now.

There was a long moment of unbroken silence. Kakarot ran his own tail through his fingers absently, his gaze still down, away from mine. I watched him patiently, processing the information I'd been given.

"I... I realized something too... before I did that..." he said carefully.

"What?" I asked.

"When Tesserot was challenging me... and Veito intervened... I didn't feel any urge to protect him, like I would if it was you who was there..."

"What does that have to do with anything -?" I began, but he interrupted.

"And I finally figured out why, last night..."

"Does this have anything to do with you getting drunk and passing out on Bulma's sofa?" I snapped shortly, not wanting him to steer the subject away, as he'd probably never broach it again.

"Partially," he said tactfully, pronouncing each syllable with deliberate slowness.

"Why didn't you want to protect him?" I asked, conceding with forbearance. After all, he wouldn't say anything of it if it weren't important.

"I didn't feel a need to defend him..." he murmured, meeting my eye briefly, "Because he wasn't mine to defend."

I blinked at him bemusedly, "He is your son, Kakarot -" I began, but he was shaking his head slowly.

"You don't understand," he said, "And you're not an alpha, so I wouldn't expect it..."

"Get to the point, Kakarot."

He sighed, "Before, when I was going to take Veito to his check-up at Bulma's... Tess got super defensive and started ranting at me, all assertive with his tail and everything."

"You're saying Tess is protective of Veito... the way you are to me?" I asked perplexedly.

"Yes."

"But they're brothers." I protested, "They're not m-"

"You don't have to be anyone's mate to feel that." he cut me off with a denying shake of his head, "It's a pack thing, not a mating thing."

I still felt I was missing something here, "...So Tess is defending Veito because of a pack bond... so what?"

"He has a good reason to defend him," Kakarot said slowly, "To keep any other male away from him... I... I have a feeling Veito is a lot like you..."

Impatience rushed through me, "Stop going in circles, Kakarot! Where the hell are you going with this?"

He looked at me steadily for a long moment.

"Vegeta..." he said, "It's highly possible that Veito can get pregnant."

TBC

_((Enjoy that little cliff-hanger. I know three or four of you saw that coming, but whatevs. I was planning on revealing it for a while now, but it had to be at the right moment. Also you get Kakarot mentioning the monster in some detail up there; trying to tie T&T in to this story a bit. _

_Sorry I was super scatterbrained when I wrote this and didn't include a lot of action with the kids; I had like forty little plot bunnies and I had to write something with an angsty, drunk Kakarot.. And don't worry, nothing serious is gonna happen between Tess and Veito (unless u guys are into that *smirk*... Nah, I don't write incest much. Especially not like this.) Tess's protectiveness is purely brotherly... in an alpha male Saiyan way..._

_Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing. And thanks for bearing with me while I tackle the last few chapters of this story._

_-Shinsun))_


	21. Chapter 21

Going Gold

Chapter 21

**Tesserot**

I couldn't explain it, but even though Veito had been brought back to life safe and sound, something still seemed off about him. He was quiet, even more so than usual; and whenever he did speak, it was in a bitter, noncommittal tone. I wondered if he was angry with me, and I wondered if he really did have reason to be; if it was my fault that he'd died after all.

I had rarely seen my dad since I'd teleported for the first time in my life trying to escape him, and I hadn't spoken to him at all; but _Tӫtka _had assured me that he wasn't mad at me and that he was fine... I wasn't sure if I believed that last part. Nothing I'd seen of my father lately seemed fine.

I think some part of me still carried some resentment towards him, some primal instinct telling me that he was a danger to Veito, and to me. I tried to shake it off over and over; he was my dad, I should have no reason to fear him or be angry at him... but I couldn't get rid of the tiny worry that told me to keep an eye on him and watch my back as well as Veito's.

It had been two days since Veito had been brought back to life, and I noticed that he wasn't sleeping at night, and that he barely ate. I asked him repeatedly what was wrong, and he would just glance at me with something like nervousness before changing the subject. It was weird.

On top of that; I'd overheard something when my parents were talking, thinking they were in secret. I was just outside the door, about to ask my _tӫtka _something, when I caught their lowered voices, in some kind of debate.

"We have to tell him," my mom whispered, his voice sounded anxious even at such a low decibel.

"I don't think it's a good idea," Dad argued quietly, "It could stir up a lot of trouble."

"It's _his_ body for the gods' sakes!" _Tӫtka _shot back, "He has a right to know!"

There was a pause, "How are you going to explain something like that to a twelve year old child?"

"I'll think of something," _Tӫtka_ muttered.

My dad gave a doubtful snort, "Let me know when you do."

I had only heard about half of the discussion, but I had a guess what they were talking about. Something about Veito that Dad didn't want him to know, but that Mom thought he should. Something about his genetic problems? Had something gotten worse?

I wasn't sure how on Earth it could get any worse for him... and I made a silent vow to do whatever I physically could to protect Veito and be sure nothing happened to him, even if it killed me.

XXX

**Vegeta**

I was having a hard time keeping up. I wanted to be sure that Tess and Veito were alright after the traumatic events two days ago, but I couldn't turn my back on my mate for a second without him getting into some new kind of mess. It would be a lot easier if I could watch both the boys and Kakarot at the same time, but I sensed he was avoiding them, so I couldn't get them both in the same place at once. And he avoided _me_ whenever I asked why. I had a feeling this wasn't the end to trouble; I could feel that there was some kind of storm brewing in the knotted cage of Kakarot's mind, and I dreaded the day when he at last had to face his "monster" once at for all. The careful limbo he'd kept up for a decade couldn't last, and it was already falling apart by the day.

Despite my worry for the boys and how they were dealing with the recent madness that had ensued since Gohan's death; my worry for Kakarot's sanity far outweighed everything else. It wasn't hard to see how unstable his state of mind was right now, and I knew better than anyone what that instability would lead to if it was allowed to fester like this for too long. Kakarot tended to bottle up his emotions, and then let them loose in crazy eruptions when they began to burst through their seams. I had a feeling that this last eruption that I could sense growing in him would be the worst by far... an unnerving thought to say the least.

Veito was another matter; one I worried about almost as much. I wanted to warn him to be careful, since there was an almost definite possibility of him being able to conceive like me. He was nearing the age when teenagers began to experiment, and even if it was years in the future before anything could – _should_ – happen, I wanted him to know what to consider. I didn't want to lock him away and keep him from experimenting like that, unlike some human families; I just wanted him to have the facts so he could take them into account with whatever choice he made. I had learned the hard way about my own abnormal anatomy, and I didn't resent that, but looking back; I wished I would have _known_ about it before it was forced on me with a single thoughtless decision. And if Tesserot was already as possessive of Veito as Kakarot said, it wouldn't be too long before he went into heat for the first time, and I wanted him to know _why_ his brother was so overprotective of him.

I had no idea how I'd even know if what Kakarot guessed was true, but I had a feeling in my gut that it was. I probably should have brushed off the thought and told myself that Veito was too young to think about having sex, or that Tess wouldn't let him get near enough to another male for him to make that choice – I even considered telling myself that Veito probably didn't even think of other boys that way... which I was beginning to doubt... But I knew enough human – and even _Saiyan_ – parents that had made that same mistake of deliberate ignorance, and paid the price for it. One could never be too careful.

But then, Kakarot did have a point. How would I explain something like that to Veito? I had the words and the experience to explain it upside-down and backwards, but whether I could break that kind of news to a child – _my_ child, a product of this very subject - was different. And Veito did have enough on his plate without the added abnormality of being a hermaphrodite... something he wouldn't have in his genes if it weren't for yours truly.

Still, he absolutely had a right to know. And either way I looked at it, I couldn't deny that I would have appreciated if someone had told me that I could get pregnant before I actually _did._

X

I managed to drag Kakarot away from his solitude for a sparring session with myself, Tess, and Veito the next day. I thought the exercise would help my mate relax a little, and would ease some of the tension and awkwardness between the father and his sons. Most people would scoff at the idea of violence solving those kinds of problems, but Saiyans were just weird like that. The physical action cleared the mind and took off a lot of stress, and training with fellow Saiyans brought them closer together somehow. It was hard to explain to any human that wouldn't be able to relate.

I knew at once that there was a flaw in my plan when Kakarot and Tess actually got face to face. Expressions and ki remained calm, but the bristling tail fur and change in scent revealed that there was still something bothering them both about each other; something that hadn't been settled yet.

And so, for the time being, Kakarot was paired up with me, while the boys faced each other. It had been a while since I had sparred with my mate, and I looked forward to seeing how much both of us had improved... I was disappointed when I saw how distracted Kakarot was, his eyes kept darting, his power fluctuating, and his heart was clearly not in the fight. I went easy on him where once I would have blasted him into the ground for losing focus; waiting for him to sort out whatever had gotten under his skin. I myself had been listless during a spar more than once, and Kakarot hadn't called me out on it, so I returned the favor for him. I did, however, try to reach the third level of Super Saiyan again after my recent ascension... and I was further disappointed to find that I had lost the switch to activate that power again. I was sure now, it was only involuntary; but despite that, I was glad that I had been able to reach it again before. It proved that the first time hadn't been an illusion.

Kakarot blocked or dodged every one of my attacks, not launching any of his own or even meeting my eye. Both of us were at level one of Super Saiyan, but my mate's power remained uneven and dipped low occasionally, and he kept biting his lip and furrowing his brow in consternation. I wondered what was bothering him so, but I could sense a translucent wall in his mind letting me know he didn't want me to pry. He wasn't blocking himself off or anything; he just needed to figure something out himself.

That was fine, I had no complaint for that; but over time, despite the fact that he didn't give any of his own attacks, his blocking became more aggressive, knocking me backwards a little when limbs clashed with sparks of ki, as if he were made of solid metal, not cooperating with my movements or engaging in the rather one-sided spar at all. I could sense in his unsteady ki that he was growing frustrated with something, and after a while he just broke away with a snarl of aggravation.

"Can we stop?" he growled, breathing hard even if he hadn't exerted a lot of energy.

I blinked, looking at the conflict boiling in his teal eyes, at his blonde tail lashing restlessly.

"Uh... sure, what's the matter?" I asked uncertainly.

"I don't want to talk about it," he muttered angrily, giving me a semi-apologetic glance before rocketing away, leaving an extremely confused atmosphere lingering.

"What's his deal?" Tesserot asked bluntly, pausing in his spar with his brother to drift over to me perplexedly, Veito trailing behind him.

"I have no idea," I sighed, releasing my transformation, my hair fading back to dark.

"His ki was all over the place," Veito said slowly, his black tail swishing, "Like he was fighting a battle in his head."

I looked at him, amazed at his perceptiveness as always. Veito just had a detached way of seeing through people and situations to infer things that others overlooked.

"Will you two be alright if I go after him?" I asked, concern sparking as I thought about what Veito had said, remembering what Kakarot had told me about his mental "monster".

"Yeah," Veito said passively, "We're fine."

"Whatever," Tesserot muttered, averting his gaze. I looked at him carefully; there was something about his posture that reminded me uncannily of his father...

I shook off the thought, "Go to Bulma's when you're finished training," I instructed evenly, "I'll meet you there once I've figured out what's wrong with your father."

Tesserot moved his bangs out of his face with a dismissive exhalation, "What's wrong with _him_? Would you like the list alphabetically, or in chronological order?"

I gave him a brief, parental-discipline snarl, "Don't be a smartass."

Tess shrugged, and I distinctly heard him mutter, "Better a smartass than a dumbass," as I flew after my mate.

_He'd better watch his mouth,_ I thought irritably, _I don't need his disrespect on top of everything else. _

It didn't take long to locate Kakarot's ki-signature, and he hadn't gone far, to my relief. However... his ki was dangerously high, and I began to wonder as I pursued him if he'd blown a fuse again and was about to erupt... but over what? Nothing had happened that I could discern, unless something out our spar had gotten him angry, which was ridiculous.

I found him in the woods near his home, in a clearing that I remembered very clearly; namely I remembered it covered in snow while Kakarot and I pelted each other with snowballs... a long time ago, and yet not so distant as to be forgotten.

I was startled to find Kakarot on his knees, his ki alternating between a low, sizzling frequency of bottled anger, and recurring searing spikes of frustration and utter rage. His fingers were clenched in his blonde hair, his back to me, his tail not quite lashing, but more of shivering, suspended tensely over the ground.

"Kakarot...?" I began tentatively, approaching him. He wasn't blowing things up or shouting, and though I could sense burning anger clearly in his ki, his physical outlook didn't show it that much.

His whole body stiffened, and I caught a glimpse of one bright turquoise eye as he glanced at me quickly.

"...Get out of here." he said quietly, his teeth gritted and almost obscuring the words, his breathing coming in short, unsteady pants.

"What happened?" I asked, laying a hand on his shoulder.

He shook me off sharply, getting to his feet, his fingers still tangled in his own golden spikes. I could feel his temples throbbing as if the sensation was mine, and feel the bubbling frustration making his very skin pulse hot with each wave of it.

"I said _go_," Kakarot snarled, "Get lost, I d... I don't want it to hurt you..."

"Don't want what to hurt me?" I demanded, "This 'monster' of yours?"

"I can't... I can't hold it back for long..." he forced out, "Go. _Now._"

"I'm not going anywhere." I said stubbornly, "What the hell happened? Answer me."

"You have no idea..." he growled, his grip on his hair tightening, "You don't know..."

"I don't know _what?_" I pried sharply.

I watched a trickle of blood run between his fingers, and I stared. He must have been digging his nails into his scalp, as if trying to pull something out of his head... trying to get rid of the monster...

I felt his ki jump higher, his teeth bared and grinding together, as a yellow blur of energy encircled him, lightning skipping over his skin. I could only watch as he leapt to the second level, his hair bleaching pale blonde, a single lock of it flapping in front of his face as his eyes squeezed shut tightly. His ki was pushing me backwards, and my boots dug indentations into the ground as I forced myself to remain standing there.

'_Vegeta...'_ I heard his thoughts, shaky though they were, '_Get away from here... Please...'_

"What is wrong with you?" I shouted, "Get a grip, Kakarot! I don't understand why you're so upset!"

Blood ran thicker down his knuckles, as he dug his fingernails deeper into his skin beneath the roots of his golden hair. I was about to speak again, to attempt to get closer to him and stop him from doing this; when his ki went absolutely insane, blowing me several feet away as a huge gale of it roared from him, his shout of agonized desperation and rage almost drowned out by the deafening thunderclap of pure energy. His hair lengthened and billowed in the wind of his ki, like a comet's tail of spiked gold.

I held on to the ground until my fingers drove shallow trenches into the earth, spiderwebbed with cracks that radiated outward from me. The storm of energy buffeted me like a leaf, my tail snapping against my control in the wind, my eyes squinted against it; I refused to open them all the way for fear that they'd be plucked from my head. I ascended to keep my balance, fighting fire with fire, and I caught a blurred glimpse of my mate enshrouded in the blinding light of his own internal chaos, personified by the maelstrom of ki that he'd conjured.

I felt something tugging at my chest, an ache that seemed to coordinate with the flashes of ki Kakarot was emitting... almost like a failing heartbeat...

I snapped to attention, terror for my mate rushing through my blood.

"KAKAROT!" I shouted, struggling to be heard over the din, "Kakarot, your heart -! Stop, you're killing yourself!"

Several trees were uprooted as his energy shot even higher, chunks of earth and debris flying in all directions. I winced as I was nearly blown backwards, bracing against the buckling ground perilously.

"I DON'T _CARE_ ANYMORE!" Kakarot screamed, fury and self-loathing tuning his ki so that it was almost painful; that and the terrifying beauty of him bringing tears of despair and unbearable love to my eyes.

I couldn't muster enough voice to make myself heard over the chaos, and I doubted he'd hear either way.

'_Kakarot...'_ I sent to him, tears streaming down my face before being blown away by the gusts of energy, '_Shi-kḁdria, please...'_

_How could I have ever thought I was stronger than him?_ I thought in awe, _I don't have a hope of reaching this level of power... but at what cost was Kakarot driven to it?_

Kakarot fell to his knees again, and I could sense he was unable to stand, his ki draining along with his life-force at a rapid rate that made my head spin with fear.

Without thinking, I channeled my own energy into him, trying to keep his fragile heart from stopping, to keep his dropping energy replenished... His hair stained itself black, returning to normal, his power plummeting too quickly for me to keep up.

'_Take it...' _I thought desperately, funneling as much of my ki into him as I could, '_Take it all, take everything I have! ...Just don't give up on me, please-!'_

I caught a blurry glimpse of dark rivulets of blood running down his forehead and neck from where he'd torn mercilessly into his scalp, and I felt my ki slipping away, pouring futilely into my mate as he collapsed to the beaten ground, his own depleted energy sucking mine away. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop him from taking it now.

_We're both going to die..._ I thought discordantly, somehow unable to react to the idea. I felt sluggish, heavy, and I slumped to the ground, my chest heaving for oxygen that just _wasn't there..._ as my draining energy still trickled into Kakarot, his hand an inch from mine. I don't think I could have even summoned the will to lace our fingers together one last time...

And I heard somewhere in the depths of my mind as it shut down, the quiet, defeated words of my mate as his fluttering heartbeat slowed.

'..._I'm sorry... shi-kḁdria...' _he murmured brokenly, and I couldn't even sense what emotion he was feeling anymore.

I wasn't sure whose thought the last three words I heard was, but I lost the last bit of consciousness I had as they touched my blackening mind.

'_...I love you...'_

TBC

_((Still borrowing people's lines... I believe "better a smartass than a dumbass" is from Sixteen Candles... it was something like that anyway. I'm not sorry for the huge drama/angst here, I was trying to make this the climax of the story before it draws to a close, I hope it met your expectations, lovely readers, it was damn hard to write._

_So... only a couple more chapters for this story, thanks for bearing with me, and for your nice reviews that really keep the inspiration flowing. And we'll see what triggered this whole explosion of anger from Kakarot in the first place shortly._

_-Shinsun))_


	22. Chapter 22

Going Gold

Chapter 22

**Tesserot**

I'd have to be completely blind and deaf to not see and hear the huge explosion that unfolded in the direction of my home... and even if I _was_ blind and deaf, I would still sense the enormous current of chaotic energy that sent shock waves reverberating through the air for miles.

Veito sensed it too, and for a long time we both just stared in awe as the clouds in the distance crackled with lightning and blinding flashes of light stabbed into the sky.

"It's Dad..." Veito breathed, his eyes very wide, "...That's just unbelievable..."

I nodded absently, the gale of ki washing over me, thick with incredible anguish and rage. It was an intangible presence, and yet it was so real and raw that it actually made my heart ache with pity.

Suddenly Veito tensed, his ki swerving with alarm, "It's going down... fast..."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, I sensed the unfathomable power drop like a stone, plummeting so quickly that I almost couldn't sense the change, it was like a blur.

"Dad's in trouble!" Veito urged, pulling on my arm to try and drag me with him. I looked at him uncertainly.

"What can we do? And anyway, _Tӫtka_ told us to go to Bulma's..." I argued.

"If we don't do _something_ they'll both die!"

I was surprised when three scornful words dropped heavily onto the tip of my tongue.

_Serves them right._

I kept myself from speaking the words -unsure where they had even come from - by biting my lip, and I nodded mutely at Veito indicating for him to lead on.

He took my hand "Teleport. Please, teleport to the Lookout."

I stared at him blankly, "I don't know how."

"You did it before," he protested, "You told me yourself that you did."

"But that doesn't mean I knew _how -"_

"Find a way." I was startled by the fire in his black eyes, and I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to reach for the power that had helped me Instant Transmit before.

I felt something jerk near my navel and the scenery around me flickered out. I had a moment to feel pleased with myself before I reappeared with my brother at the Lookout, almost landing right on top of Dende. Just the person we needed.

"Dende," Veito said pleadingly, "Come with us, please, our parents are in huge danger..."

Dende opened his mouth as if to ask incredulously where the hell we'd come from, but closed it and nodded,

"Alright, take me to them." he said, taking hold of my other hand.

There was barely any ki to go by, but I managed to find a trace of it, a trace enough to teleport several feet away from my mother and father. Both were collapsed on the ground, a few inches away from each other, and neither was breathing.

"Can you heal them?" Veito asked tentatively of Dende.

Dende looked at the two adult Saiyans for a long time, uncertainty and sorrow clouding his eyes.

"No promises," he said tonelessly, "But I'll try my best."

He knelt next to my mother, hovering his hands a couple of inches over his shoulders and back, encircling him in an aura of pale green light.

"He's not injured," Dende said, "I don't know how I can heal someone who isn't hurt..."

"Then what's wrong with him?" I asked impatiently.

Dende looked over his shoulder, his dark eyes unnerved, "I have no idea. Both of their ki is completely gone, they should be dead."

"But they're not, are they?" Veito asked fearfully, his tail reaching out to curl around mine, seeking comfort.

"Not as far as I can tell," the Namek said slowly, letting the aura of green fade away, "But there's nothing I can do, I can only heal physical injuries."

"Would a senzu work? They can restore power..." I smothered a surge of panic as I spoke before it could fully surface. I had to stay calm.

"Maybe," Dende said, "I don't know."

"_Tӫtka_ always carries one in his glove when we spar," Veito said quietly.

"That's right," I nodded, moving over to my mother uncertainly, "Left glove, right?"

Carefully, I slipped the white glove off of my mom's limp hand, feeling for the secret pocket inside where a single senzu bean could be stored in case of emergency.

Dismay reached me when I found only half a bean inside, "Must be leftover from last time..." I sighed, "But it's not enough for both of them."

"Give it to Mom," Veito murmured, "He'll know what to do."

True, my mother was the better tactician, and I always counted on him in a crisis. I crushed the portion of bean in my hand to make it easier to swallow and helped Dende support _Tӫtka _so he wouldn't choke. The Namek placed the green pulp in the unconscious Saiyan's mouth, and there was a long, tense moment of silence. All there was to do was wait, and I hoped I had done what my mom would have wanted me to do, or else I might have made a bad situation worse.

XXX

**Vegeta**

Air rushed into my lungs. I coughed for breath, holding onto the spark of ki lighting in my chest, bringing my heartbeat to a stuttering gallop. My head ached something terrible, but I forced myself to squint open my eyes. The first thing they landed on was the Namek Dende, and then Tesserot and Veito, who stood nervously about a foot away.

"I t-told you to go to Capsule Corp," I muttered unsteadily.

"Sorry," Veito said contritely.

"It's alright," I sighed, trying to piece what had happened back together in my head. I had very nearly died... and so had -

"Kakarot!" I jolted upright, fear racing through me rapidly. I glanced to the side, and my eyes fell on my mate, who lay deathly still a short distance away, dangerously pale with a sluggish flow of clotting blood dripping down his forehead.

"You didn't heal him first?" I demanded, glaring at Tesserot.

"No," Tess said slowly, "We thought you would -"

"Idiot!" I interrupted harshly, ignoring his flinch, "He can teleport, he could have -!"

"I c-can teleport too," Tess stammered.

I stared at him, "Then. Why. Are. You. Standing. There?" I growled, biting off each word sharply, "Go and get another senzu... _Now!"_

He didn't have to be told twice, and after he vanished into thin air, I regretted the cruel tone I had used. It wasn't Tesserot's fault, he was just a child; I couldn't ask him to make decisions like that so quickly on his own.

Aware of Dende and Veito still watching me uncertainly, I moved slowly over to Kakarot and laid my hand on top of his. His skin was cold, and I had to swallow hard against my frantic thoughts. If Tesserot didn't hurry he would die; and the dragonballs would ignore any wishes to bring him back, because he would have gone the same way as Gohan, draining life-force and lack of ki.

"Kakarot..." I whispered, brushing his bangs away from his face distantly. Across his forehead was smeared a startling amount of thick blood, and I hesitantly touched the crown of his head where he'd gouged his own skin with his fingernails. My hand came away sticky with red, and worry set in, gnawing at me as I remembered how distraught and furious he'd been, desperate to be free of his monster somehow, even if it ended up being the death of him.

_Well I won't lose him that easily._ I thought with conviction.

To my relief, Tesserot appeared right then, handing me one senzu bean. I didn't know or care where he'd gone to get it. I slipped the bean into my own mouth and chewed it into a pulp, and then brought my mate's face up to mine and touched my lips to his, pushing the crushed up medicine into his mouth with my tongue.

For an agonizingly long moment, nothing happened.

Kakarot coughed wrenchingly, his lungs expanding shakily as he breathed. Utter relief swept through me, and as Kakarot's eyes fluttered open, I kissed him lovingly, trying to show him in my filtering emotions how glad I was that he was alright.

To my complete and slightly offended shock, he pushed me away unceremoniously and got to his feet.

'_Kakarot, what...?'_ I began, aghast, before realizing that he'd cut his mind off from me.

I wanted to demand an explanation and shout at him until he told me what was wrong _this_ time, but then I remembered that that was what had nearly gotten both of us killed... I would wait to ask until we were alone. I didn't want anyone else to have to watch him melt down like that.

X

I knew Kakarot was still thinking about whatever had gotten him so upset before, and had not ceased thinking of the same thing in all that time. He wouldn't let me into his mind, he wouldn't talk to anyone, and he completely avoided eye-contact with me and his sons until he was finally able to make a break for his isolation, and he locked the door to the bedroom when he vanished in there that night. Of course, it would be all too easy for any of us to knock the door down, but it was the gesture itself that counted. He wanted to be alone; he wouldn't say it, but he would put up a barrier to keep everyone out.

Frustrated and immensely concerned, I paced back and forth outside the door for much of the night, even when the kids went to sleep and all the lights were turned off. I was silently debating whether or not to just break the lock and confront Kakarot... but something in my mind told me it would be very unwise to do that by force, instead I should wait for him to cool off and come to me. ...I had no idea how long that would take, and feeling the brewing emotions of my mate whilst being unable to help him was making the mark on my shoulder ache with protest.

Hours passed, the bars of moonlight striping the floor shifted along as the waning half moon moved gradually across the sky, and there was no sign from Kakarot. I knew he wasn't asleep, and I knew that he knew that I was still here, waiting for him.

After what seemed like an eternity, I heard a very faint click; a sound anyone else probably would have disregarded, but I knew that it meant Kakarot had unlocked the door and was letting me in. And even though I'd been waiting for hours for that little signal, I still hesitated for a long moment before turning the knob and stepping inside. He was lying flat on his back on the bed, his eyes closed in emotional exhaustion, the tip of his tail flicking slowly in deep thought.

Tentatively, I sat down next to him at the foot of the bed, letting my eyes rove over his face. He hadn't cleaned the dried blood from his forehead, even if the wounds had been healed with the senzu bean he'd taken. Somehow that thought unnerved me; it was like he didn't care about anything anymore, not even such a small thing as cleaning himself off.

"I know what you want from me," he sighed in monotone, his tail swishing once.

"What's that?" I asked carefully, not breaching the boundaries he'd drawn.

"Answers." he muttered, his voice devoid of emotion, "Explanations for what happened today. You probably think I'm losing it, coming unhinged... and maybe you're right..."

"This is all about that monster you were talking about?" I pried slowly, tactfully.

"If only it were as simple as you make it sound." he said flatly.

I crossed my legs patiently to make myself more comfortable as I sat there, "Enlighten me." I said softly, "Tell me everything."

It was risky turning such a blunt request into a command, but sometimes the only way to get through to Kakarot was to give it to him straight and hope he returned the favor.

He exhaled slowly, letting all the air out of his lungs in a gradual rush.

"Where do I start?" he murmured, his eyes flitting open and looking pensively at the ceiling, "The monster showed up... around the time you told me you were pregnant the first time... But I think it was lurking around a little before then. It sounds like such an abstract idea to say it out loud... but I can try to make you understand... It has a tone of voice. It has moods. It has emotions completely separate from mine. It makes... choices... without consulting me. Chooses my words for me and even commands my actions if I let it."

I remembered a lot of inexplicable things Kakarot had said and done a long time ago... most people would be rushing for a psychiatrist or a mental hospital with a story like this, but I saw it as an explanation, bringing things that had confused me for years to light, and never once did I question that my mate was speaking the truth.

"I fought it for a while," Kakarot went on, "And for a short time I was able to master it and keep it quiet. But... I made a rather critical mistake. I started to _rely_ on it to face the things I didn't want to face myself. And through that it gained a hold over me, dug itself in deeper until I couldn't shake it off when it took control anymore. It didn't take me long to realize it was making me hurt people, like Gohan and ChiChi and you... And I tried to get rid of it... unsuccessfully."

"That was when you first started getting angry for no reason," I said hesitantly, "When you snapped at me and went all bi-polar and violent... right?"

He inclined his head, "I started battling it around the time I was staying with you at Bulma's after I marked you. I didn't know what I wanted anymore, and I was confused... and I couldn't get that damn voice to shut up for two seconds."

"But then you mated with me..." I said slowly, "Mutually, I mean... you seemed so much better."

He nodded again, swallowing hard, "I made a choice for myself for once, the monster had nothing to do with that, don't worry. But the very next morning directly afterwards, it started whispering to me again. It was... quieter... easier to silence... when I was around you, though."

That explained why I was the only one who could calm him down when he got angry, and why he always came back to me when he was about to explode. I hadn't known about this passenger of his at the time, but I had suspected that he wasn't himself when he got upset like that.

"It took me a while to notice... but the monster was easily jealous." he said levelly, "If someone so much as looked at something of mine, it would start ranting at me and I would get all hot and itchy with the need to punish them or re-establish my claim on whatever it was... Whether it was an area of the house, a person, or even a piece of food, it was all the same to the monster..." he paused, "Actually that's not true. It was the worst – by _far _the worst – when it was you. I remember when Bulma was talking to you, just _talking_ to you, and the whole time the monster was muttering, and then shouting, at me to do something about it or I'd lose you... which is a ridiculous notion, I know, but there was no sense of reason where the monster was concerned."

"I noticed that," I said shortly. All this time I had thought it was Kakarot who had an impaired sense of reason, but now I knew it wasn't even _his._...

"It got worse and worse, it never stopped," he continued, sitting up and rubbing his knuckles into his temples, "...Until Tesserot was born. Then it shut up completely for about a month, drowned out by parental instincts I think... But the minute that ChiChi came into the picture, it snapped right back like it had never been gone, maybe even stronger than before."

"But what happened?" I asked, "Sure, you got angry sometimes, but you had reason to be with ChiChi insulting and then pressuring you like she was. Maybe you went a little over the top now and then, but nothing like you'd been before."

He shook his head slowly, not looking at me, "The monster never left... it was quiet for extended periods of time once our mating bond became more stable and time passed... I thought one day it would just fade away if I kept ignoring it, but I shouldn't have assumed..."

"You were completely stable for ten years after Veito was born," I pointed out.

He laughed, a blunt, bark-like sound that carried very little actual humor, "I told you, it left me alone for years... I had no idea why. I guess it was content for a time, but I was always aware of it in the back of my mind, ready to strike. I almost forgot about it after a decade passed... but I should have known it wouldn't disappear so easily."

"And it came back?" I asked.

"Yes," he sighed, barely a whisper, "I'm not sure when or why, but it started talking to me again, at first just commenting on things that happened and giving silent suggestions... But before too long it started showing its face again. When I punched you in the face after that social worker came, for example; that wasn't me... I never would have done that to you over something so small, especially considering how upset you were that Tess might get taken away."

He was silent for a long moment, seeming to count time in his head.

"It next showed up after Gohan died," He cut me off as I opened my mouth, interrupting me before I could speak, "Not when I got so angry the day he died, that was unrelated... my own emotions, and justly so, I guess. No, I mean at his funeral, when ChiChi showed up and I immediately provoked her, some of that was me, but the monster was definitely guiding behind the wheel... and I got scared. I didn't want to lose myself to it again, and I fought it with everything I had... but it wasn't enough, and I didn't have enough time to fight it back before I had to fight something else."

"Tesserot, when he reached maturity," I nodded, understanding.

"A lot of that was hormones, but I wouldn't have gotten so angry in the first place if the monster hadn't been goading me to take the bait... and after I came to and saw what happened to Veito, I knew the monster was stronger now, strong enough to kill."

"So you _were_ the one who -?" I began incredulously.

"I think so," he sighed, "I doubt Tesserot would have had it in him to produce enough ki to end a life, and he wouldn't have had a clear shot, especially accidentally, from where he was standing anyway... Besides, he's not very well acquainted with the monster yet..."

"Yet?" I asked, dread chasing a chill down my spine, "You mean Tess -?"

"-Is getting to know his own monster a little more every day," he interrupted smoothly, his eyes piercing mine.

"No wonder..." I breathed, "No wonder you were so quick to numb yourself after figuring _that_ one out."

Kakarot's heavy drinking after his fight with Tesserot made more sense now. He was scared, he was desperate, and he'd just found out that the seemingly neverending cycle of his ruthless monster was starting anew in his own son.

"Even if I do manage to silence the monster for good, it'll just come back in Tess," he said defeatedly, "And judging from how strong he is now, and with pure blood to boot, he may grow up to be even stronger than me someday... the universe will be lucky to survive."

There was a long silence, and it took me a moment to realize he'd come to the end of his tale. I hadn't hoped for a happy ending, but that was just depressing.

"That doesn't explain why you were trying to kill yourself today... or what got you so angry while we were sparring to set you off like that."

He looked at me for a minute, his eyes leaden and endless, "I don't want to be a monster," he said quietly, "I would rather face whatever flimsy fear I had and go to Hell than live like that."

That only answered one of my questions, but either way, it made me both empathetic and slightly angry. And sad. Nothing of Kakarot's internal conflict had been solved, in fact it may have gotten worse overall.

"Kakarot... you've forgotten what you have," I said slowly, kneeling close to him, "And you need to be reminded..."

I leaned down and gently covered his mouth with my own, stroking a hand lightly through his bloodstained hair. For a moment he seemed to relax, breathing a soft sigh against my lips. And then he abruptly sat up, moving away from me and shaking his head, tail bristling.

Confusion and frustration mixed and I growled.

"Alright, what the hell, Kakarot?" I snapped, "That's twice now, don't tell me your monster is forbidding you from kissing your mate."

He grit his teeth audibly, "Far from it."

I blinked impatiently, "What do you mean?"

His tail slapped against the mattress, "Do you have any idea what that damn monster was telling me to do to my son today? Do you have any idea what it tells me to do to _you_ nearly every second of every day?"

Realization trickled through me, and I stared at him for a moment.

"So when we were sparring... it wasn't Tess that had you so uptight, was it?"

"Not entirely," he muttered, averting his gaze, "But I couldn't shut out this whisper telling me to take back what was mine and fight Tess over Veito... I have no idea what that sadistic monster could want with my youngest son, but I'll bet it's not pretty, whatever it is."

"And me?" I asked perplexedly, swallowing my nerves.

He looked at me sharply, "Let's just say that if I listened to the monster whenever it speaks of you, you would never get a minute alone, you'd be bruised black and blue, and we'd have at least ten more kids."

He dropped his gaze down, as if ashamed of saying such a thing, "I wouldn't do that to you... I wouldn't turn you into some possession only good for one thing... and I wouldn't turn something as special as we have into a meaningless bodily function... but the monster definitely would. It's not a nice thing, Vegeta. I don't know how else to say it."

I was silent for a while, processing this. When Kakarot had become this grim, I didn't know, but he needed to be snapped out of it, or he wouldn't need the monster's help to let himself be destroyed.

"What if I let it?" I asked softly.

He blinked once in pure confusion, "What?"

"What if I give you permission to listen to it, just this once?"

Instantly, he glared at me, "Vegeta, were you listening? It wouldn't be _just this once,_ it would be every fucking second of every day if you let it have its way."

"Just this once, Kakarot," I repeated, "Just let go, I'll catch you if you fall."

Uncertain, he watched his own tail as he spoke, "...What exactly are you asking?"

I gazed at him steadily, '_Fuck me, Kakarot. I get the feeling you need it.'_

He looked appalled, '_I already told you, I won't let you be a possession, you're my mate... I couldn't...'_

I kissed him gently, relieved that he didn't push me away again, '_I'm asking you to. I'm here for you, that's what a mate is for... Just give in for a moment...'_

I met his eye boldly, and kept my next thought silent from him, not wanting him to hear my ulterior intent.

_I want to meet this monster of yours._

TBC

_((Still not quite done with this story, too many loose ends. And gods, this chapter was long, and confusing, and dramatic, and **long**_**. **_4,200 words and nothing but drama and angst. What else is new._

_And the monster really got to be center stage here, I didn't think I'd go into this much detail with it outside T&T. Oh well. Also, Vegeta's request seems a little crude, but he's appealing to the monster side of Kakarot's thoughts, trying to meet the monster and maybe tame it *wink. It's not just an excuse to write another smut scene... maybe..._

_Thanks for reading and reviewing and putting up with my extremely unsteady inspirational process._

_-Shinsun))_


	23. Chapter 23

Going Gold

Chapter 23

**Vegeta**

Kakarot shook his head again, making as if to get up and move away from me, his gaze down, fixedly averted from mine. I could sense his conflicted thoughts; I knew what he wanted, what he needed, but he was stubbornly denying himself, and I could sense a great deal of fear backed up behind that choice.

"Kakarot -" I began reproachfully, trying to get through to him. It wasn't so unreasonable for him to give in for his mate – or for _himself_ even – and it was easy to see what resisting was doing to him.

'_No.'_ he said resolutely in his mind, dead-solid if not for the little chinks of desire filtering through the monosyllabic response.

"What are you so afraid of?" I asked, "You've never been like this when..."

I trailed off as he interrupted me.

"I... I won't let myself hurt you. I won't take the chance."

I glared at his back, compelling him to turn and look at me. He did, but his dark gaze was full of misgivings and doubts.

"Kakarot, what do you think I am?" I muttered, "Some delicate thing that will snap in two if you so much as touch me?" I showed my teeth slightly in a bold but angerless snarl, "I'm Saiyan, remember? I can take it. I'm the only one who can."

He looked sorely tempted, but turned away again with a low sigh, "No, it's too risky. What if I can't stop it? What if it completely takes over and I seriously hurt you?"

I growled determinedly, '_Hurt me if you have to, Kakarot, I'm not afraid.'_

He looked at me over his shoulder for a moment, conflict and guilty lust hazing his stygian eyes.

'_….You're sure?'_ he asked quietly, '_I feel like you'll regret it...'_

I blinked at him once and lay down on the bed invitingly, "What do you have to lose, Kakarot?"

Several things flitted through his mind; his sanity, his self-respect, me... any hope of fighting free of his internal monster...

"Alright..." he said softly, kneeling in front of me, "But if it gets out of control, promise me you'll do whatever it takes to stop me."

'_As you wish,'_ I conceded, looking up at him.

His dark eyes flashed, "Even if it means ending me, Vegeta."

I fell silent; not willing to promise such a thing. I would sooner die at his hand than destroy him with my own, and that made this rather complicated considering his credo here seemed to be the same thing.

His eyebrows furrowed briefly with concern, "Be careful with it." he said, speaking of the monster, "It has a tendency to suck things dry, don't let it get ahold of you too."

I nodded, and Kakarot's eyes slipped reluctantly closed.

I watched him tense up for a long moment, his eyes squeezed shut, his teeth gritting together; and I felt something shift in his energy. Something dark and metallic, vying with his familiar ki before blotting it out, swallowing it whole. And when his eyes opened again, they were flinty chips of flat black, reflecting my own unease back at me. Physically he had not changed, but for the moment, Kakarot _was_ the monster.

X

I felt a chill slither down my spine, looking into the dark metal eyes above me; unnerved and maybe distantly intrigued. One of Kakarot's hands grabbed my wrist, pinning it down to the bed... it didn't take me long to stop associating the person – however familiar it physically was – with Kakarot at all. It had his body; and as I would soon learn, his voice, but they were leagues apart. Still I was interested to know more about this alleged monster; to figure it out and maybe remove it from my mate.

"I wouldn't think of doing that," Even though the timbre and tone of the voice that issued from that smirking mouth was identical to Kakarot's, there was something about it that was foreign and wild, unearthly, beyond alien... it was downright unnatural. ...And apparently the monster could read my mind just like Kakarot could.

I was slightly disturbed and slightly fascinated... wherever Kakarot's consciousness and entity had been smothered, there wasn't a trace of him left. Looking in his body's eyes, I couldn't see his soul. I knew I should be afraid, should be attacking this imposter that had controlled and eaten away at my lover from the inside for years on end, but before I did anything I wanted to know more, and I'd already made a deal with this devil in my mate's skin.

"So now we meet," I said quietly, feeling a reckless grin pull at my mouth. Whatever common sense was telling me, my Saiyan blood was loving this new challenge, and anticipating what the being sprawled over me was promising with its posture and expression. I had invited Kakarot to take me, and I was fairly certain that this was not Kakarot... but whatever I'd said, it had worked, and now I was face to face with the monster, contemplating how best to go about my plan.

"Speak for yourself," the monster whispered, leaning lecherously over me, close enough that I could feel its breath – Kakarot's breath, coming from his lungs, but controlled by the demon in his mind and body - "I've known you for years... of course, this is the first time I've been allowed to speak to you directly... Interesting, isn't it?"

My face contorted angrily for a second, as I was briefly reminded of what this monster had done.

"You're destroying Kakarot," I growled, "Chewing him up and spitting him out until there's nothing left of him; greedy bastard."

The monster laughed... it was Kakarot's laugh, with a chilling, hair-raising twist to it.

"He's already destroyed," it purred darkly, "And you gave me just what I needed to take total control of not only his mind... but his body as well."

Kakarot's body pressed close to me, I could feel the familiar expansion and relaxation of his powerful chest breathing against me, and I became aware that his body was aroused and impatient beneath the command of the monster.

An instinctive rush of foreboding gripped me, an edge of fear instilled by a temporarily unlinked mating bond. I was suddenly very aware that I was alone, that I didn't have my mate to protect me from this... That there was a chance I wouldn't get him back at all.

And then, I heard in my mind a faint whisper, '_Vegeta...'_

I blinked. Unless I was seriously mistaken... '_Kakarot?'_

I wasn't given an affirming or denying response, but the moment of contact gave me courage, and I looked up at the monster that was wearing my mate's face boldly.

"Well?" I said, flicking my tail expectantly, "I believe I made you an offer."

A thoughtful leer crossed Kakarot's face, tinged with the steel of the monster, "Your body... correct?"

_'Vegeta, don't listen to it!'_

I gasped silently, startled. I was sure now, that was Kakarot's voice in my head... somehow he'd broken through the barrier just enough to speak to me mentally.

'_Just trust me, Kakarot... I told you, I'm not afraid.'_

I could almost feel his fear pricking at me; maybe it was partially my own...

'_I didn't realize it was this strong... I can't even -'_

His diluted voice was cut off abruptly, stopped like an audio tape, and I had a feeling it was the monster's doing.

"Stubborn, interfering moron," the monster muttered distractedly, shaking Kakarot's head as if dispelling an irking fly.

"That's my mate you're talking about," I snarled, affronted.

The monster blinked once slowly, the shadows lining Kakarot's visage – how had I never noticed how haggard and tortured his face had become until someone else was wearing it? - shifting slightly as it tilted his head.

"That's right," the iron silk of Kakarot's warped voice purred, a hand beneath the dark puppeteer's control brushing lightly against the exposed mark on my shoulder.

My own mark betrayed me. A primitive thing created and based around the physicality of touch, oblivious to the shift of spirit and mind taking place in the being that was not my mate; it sent a rush of instinctive pleasure through me, responding automatically to the contact of Kakarot's fingers, regardless of who his flesh obeyed right now. I shivered, aware that I was growing hard, but unable to stop it.

A rush of defiance sparked in my chest. This was wrong. Very wrong. I had to get Kakarot back... he was right, the monster was much too strong to be allowed free reign like this.

"You're not my mate," I growled, reminding the imposter of its place, sitting up and flashing to Super Saiyan with a grunt of effort, my tail lashing angrily.

Ignoring me, the monster dipped Kakarot's head down, dragging his fiery tongue across the throbbing mating mark like Kakarot himself had done many times before... My eyes tried to roll back in my head with instinctive pleasure, but I reminded myself with a mental face-slap that it wasn't Kakarot pleasuring me. Much as it felt like him... I wouldn't allow my body to be lied to.

"You are not my mate!" I repeated, louder, trying to force the reminder to stick in my mind; I would not do this. Not to Kakarot, and not to me.

I gathered my energy in my palm, preparing to eradicate the monster for good. I drew my hand back, a snarl shuddering from my throat.

Kakarot's face looked up at me, inky eyes liquid gentle, an endearing smile on his familiar lips.

"Aren't I?" his voice asked innocently.

My breath caught audibly, my hand stopping an inch from the perfect picture of the person I loved more than life itself. Much as my mind berated at me, telling me not to fall for the trick the sadistic monster was playing on me... every other fiber of my being insisted that I had been about to blast my _shi-kḁdria's _head off... and I couldn't do it.

Utterly defeated, powerless to rise against a threat that disguised itself with my mate's face, I sighed explosively and released my golden transformation, falling back against the bed and covering my face with my hands frustratedly, fighting back tears that I couldn't quite explain.

I could hear the twisted laugh the monster had fashioned from Kakarot's own, ringing in my ears. I peered through my fingers in dismay, looking at the cruel amusement stamped across the face that every facet of me had identified as the love of my life for over a decade...

"You mated to a monster," it murmured icily, "Pretty fitting, I think."

I ground my teeth together, swallowing my internal anguish, "Who the fuck cares what you think?" I grit out.

"You should," the monster said slowly, a hand resting on the waistband of my spandex leggings ominously.

I took a slow breath, attempting without success to sooth myself. It wasn't exactly easy or possible without Kakarot here... I felt abandoned and helpless.

_But I brought this on myself..._ I thought grimly. Kakarot had warned me, but I hadn't listened. Curiosity and concern had gotten the better of me...

I didn't resist as my leggings were removed, nor did I look at the face of my possessed mate, not wanting to see the hell I'd unleashed looking back at me.

"Intriguing..." the monster whispered, Kakarot's voice bent and sharpened into the edge of a knife, "There are so many things I've always wanted to try... things he wouldn't let me try... suppressed me and ignored me whenever I suggested..."

I looked up slowly, fixing my gaze on the ceiling, taking steadying breaths gradually as if they were the last I would draw. I was terrified, but I wouldn't show it in front of the being that so easily fed off of fear.

A gasp tore from my lips as something hard and unyielding pressed against my unprotected entrance. Never had Kakarot just forced into me without first giving careful preparation; except when I was in heat when it was unnecessary...

Terror slammed through my veins with every rapid beat of my heart, and I tried to escape, tried to get away; but I was stopped when the harsh grip of fingers my skin recognized as Kakarot's closed over my upper arms, holding me brutally in place.

I felt tears of panic and helplessness spill down my cheeks, there was nothing I could do; I couldn't even make myself speak... And I heard in the chaos of my mind a faint voice, ragged with desperation.

_'That's not me... that's_ not _me_!' Kakarot shouted mentally, rage all his own and fear for his powerless mate filtering through the wall the monster had put up to cage his consciousness.

I cried out in denial and pain as the forced entry of the monster ensued, and I struggled futilely, the tang of blood making its way into my nostrils.

The monster was laughing... and somewhere in the depths of my mind Kakarot was screaming.

'_THAT'S **IT**!"_ his mental voice shouted, the agonized sob in the words registering clearly in my mind; the monster stopped abruptly, and I opened my eyes in time to see something like dread crossing the face of my physically absent mate.

Kakarot's voice was raw and shaking with finite tolerance and wrenching fury as he spoke without a voice, directing his words solely at the monster.

'_I won't stand for it anymore... _No one_ hurts my mate and lives...'_ he paused, and I could almost fancy that I heard him taking shuddering breaths, '_So get the fuck out of my body before I force you out!'_

The monster sneered, "And how would you do that -?"

It cut itself off, Kakarot's eyes widening; and then a shout escaped his lips, and his hands gripped his temples in obvious response to agony.

"Impossible..." the metallic spin on Kakarot's voice breathed, then louder, "Impossible!"

At the edge of my consciousness I felt a spark of very familiar ki; flickering distantly before flaring to life, like a strong fire, battling the dark shroud of the monster's ki; and then bursting into flame, an explosion, washing away the black steel aura of the monster like dust.

I shielded my eyes from the bright flash of ki as the energy of Super Saiyan three crackled in the air, illuminating the whole room, before fading out slowly, leaving the blinding light as a dull purple afterimage behind my eyelids.

A pair of ice-blue eyes met my gaze, and though they were browless and fierce; they held in their depths the beautiful and powerful fire of everything that made up who Kakarot was. The cold, steel syrup of the monster had melted away in the face of that fire.

Kakarot was shaking slightly, looking through me, the long golden mane cascading down his shoulders decreasing and darkening, returning to normal black along with his exhausted eyes.

I was aware that he was still inside me, from the monster's cruel attempt at conquest of my body, and he withdrew from me carefully, trying to cause as little additional pain as possible in the retreat.

"Are you okay...?" he asked softly, and I felt something in my chest reassemble into what felt like a heart at the authenticity of his voice, the genuine concern; not tainted by the blade of the monster's words.

"I will be." my own voice sounded dry and frail, I barely recognized it.

His dark eyes roved over me slowly, "...I hurt you..." he whispered ashamedly.

I held his gaze steadily, "No. You did nothing of the sort."

I refused to let myself be cheated into thinking that Kakarot had caused me harm when it had been the monster's fault, and I refused to let my mate blame himself for something he had not done. Something he never would have chosen to do.

I knew he could feel how terrified I'd been - still was - of the monster itself and my inability to fight it... and to his credit he didn't say 'I told you so,' though in my opinion he had every right to.

There was a long silence only broken by the sound of heavy breathing returning to normal.

"Kakarot, is it...?" I asked slowly, "...Is it gone? For good, I mean? Did you destroy it?"

He looked at me with such a haunted expression that it caused pity to slice at me painfully... and slowly he shook his head.

"That'll never happen..." he said flatly, "As long as I live, it does too...but I did lock it back in my head where it belongs."

"How did it suddenly get so strong?" I asked, sitting up slowly and wincing from a stab of pain between my legs, "It completely overpowered you...and me..."

He shook his head again, "It didn't. It's been that strong all along," he looked at me piercingly, "But it was never given enough rein to free itself... that kind of control has to be allowed deliberately."

Guilt twinged in my chest, and I dropped my eyes to the mattress. If I hadn't asked him to unchain the monster... to give in... none of it would have happened.

But _gods_... he'd been fighting something that ruthless and powerful... holding it back and denying it for years... I had barely managed five minutes before I surrendered to it; and just imagining what would have happened if he had done the same when he first met it was enough to chill my blood. There was no doubt. Kakarot truly was stronger than I could ever be, in every sense the word 'strength' implied.

X

"I'm sorry." Kakarot said quietly, his fluid ebony eyes sincerely apologetic.

My mouth dropped open as I scrambled for speech, "I-I'm the one who should be apologizing," I stammered, "If I hadn't asked you... pressured you..."

"But I should have had enough sense to refuse unconditionally, despite anything you might have said," Kakarot interrupted, "It was my responsibility to keep control of it, and I let it slip with just a taste of temptation...I knew better, but I did it anyway. There is no excuse for that."

I couldn't let him blame himself for a mess I had caused, it was unfair and it made me itch with guilt.

He gazed at me with a look of remorse, "You could have been killed. I knew that mercy was something the monster didn't possess, but I unleashed it on you, no holds barred... it could have torn you to pieces..."

"It's been doing the same thing to you for _years,_" I said, "You keep it chained up in your mind, but if that's all it has to feed on..." I looked at him sadly, "It's killing you, Kakarot, a little more every day."

He averted his eyes, tail flicking, "I know."

"And you're not trying to _stop_ it?" I demanded, not thinking in favor of trying to get an explanation from him. It was rare that he spoke of something like this at all...

He glared at me, "Every second of every day. I've been trying to stop it since it first started whispering to me, a lifetime ago."

I fell silent, not knowing what to say. All the words in my mind seemed inadequate and crude, language failing me in its own small way.

I tried to think of what Kakarot needed to hear, what he needed to be reassured on...

I lightly touched his face, cupping his cheek in my hand. "I love you," I murmured. A simple fact. An unshakable truth.

He exhaled shakily, eyes fluttering closed, and I watched silent tears escape his lashes, a few trickling down to touch my fingers.

"Why?" he whispered, "What the hell is left to love anymore?"

I leaned over and captured his unresisting lips softly. He didn't protest, but he didn't participate either.

"Kakarot how can you doubt yourself so much?" I said carefully, brushing my nose against his cheek, "No matter what happens, I'll always love you."

I could feel him trembling against me, and his lips parted slightly, an invitation... no, a request.

Achingly gentle, I covered his mouth with my own, moving my lips slowly against his; and after a long, passive moment, he began to kiss me back, tentative, somehow wistful.

"Kakarot..." I murmured, "I think... I think we should make up for what happened earlier..."

His jet eyes blinked open, and he began to shake his head quickly, nerves written plainly on his face.

"Not like that," I responded, curling my tail around his. '_Not fucking...' _he flinched, but I pressed on gently, '_I want you to make love to me. Please, shi-kḁdria?'_

"If you don't get past this now," I continued as he still looked doubtful, even afraid, "You never will... Let go... not losing control, let go of the monster's influence on you, even for a moment." '_Remember that you are loved...'_

He just looked at me for a long moment, the glint of tear-tracks still visible on his face.

"As you wish," he whispered.

TBC

_((So... had to postpone the smut – or...real smut, you know... - for the next chapter, in favor of advancing and maybe closing the plot a bit. I was a bit hesitant to write the monster off as a physical entity the way I did, and this whole chapter was actually pretty hard to write. One last major drama/angst chapter before the story draws to a close. _

_Thanks, lovely readers, for reading and reviewing. Love you guys._

_-Shinsun))_


	24. Chapter 24

_((So yeah it's kind of been forever since I updated something. Finals are coming up in school though, and I've been so exhausted that I just pass out before writing anything every day. But this story really needed an update, so... here you go. A nice love scene for you, this story may end up a little longer than I thought._

_-Shinsun))_

Going Gold

Chapter 24

**Vegeta**

I gently pressed a hand to Kakarot's chest, leaning him back, and he complied, his eyes slipping closed as he lay against the pillows, breathing unsteadily. I knelt over him, keeping my hand on his chest as I brushed my lips over his from above, hearing the shake in his breath as he leaned up, asking. I covered his mouth with my own, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck to increase the pressure. One of his hands reached up and touched my shoulder, sliding down my arm slowly to hold my wrist.

I broke away and kissed up the bridge of his nose, faltering as I tasted dry blood upon reaching his brow. I'd almost forgotten... He seemed to sense my hesitation, and his eyes opened gradually, looking up at me uncertainly. I touched my lips to his forehead again, lightly tracing my tongue over his eyebrow to wash the blood away. I trailed lingering kisses over his skin, clearing every trace of the dark red stains until my mate's face was clean again. I dipped my head for another taste of his pliant mouth, my tongue caressing his, letting him taste an echo of his own blood.

"Kakarot..." I murmured against his lips, "You have no reason to ever doubt yourself... to ever punish yourself... You are strong and amazing and beautiful..."

I captured his mouth again, cherishing, worshipping; '_You've made it very clear that I belong to you, Kakarot... but don't forget that you belong to me, too. It's alright for you to be taken care of when you need it...'_

He sighed softly when I released his lips, _'I know.'_

That was all I needed to hear. I licked down the side of his neck slowly, grazing his collarbone with my lips and kissing right over his heart through the fabric of his shirt, feeling his steady pulse. My fingers grasped the hem of his shirt and I slid it up his chest, over his head, dropping the garment over the side of the bed.

His mouth found my neck and he sucked and nibbled on the skin for a moment. I purred, letting him know I liked the contact, but moved away before he could get carried away.

_'Let me take care of you this time,' _I murmured, sending him a brief flash of reassurance that I wouldn't overstep any of the boundaries he'd drawn early-on in this relationship. I wouldn't press for dominance or try to control him; but this wasn't about dominating and submitting. It was about giving. I wanted to give him the same boundless love and pleasure that he'd given me so often before.

I felt his consent and trust, and my lips continued their travels down his powerful chest, hovering over the very few faded battle scars - some of which I'd caused long ago - and licking over one of his nipples. He leaned into the touch with a quiet sound of approval, his breathing growing rougher as I circled the tightening bud with my tongue, exhaling over the sensitive skin to evaporate the moisture. I closed my lips around the nipple, biting gently, and a low moan escaped between my mate's teeth, his tail feathering over my wrist. I allowed a smirk and grasped the appendage lightly; stroked the soft fur, eliciting a heavy purr that I could feel vibrating against my lips.

'_I should remind you,'_ I said silently, '_That Tesserot and Veito are just down the hall... we may want to keep quiet.'_

Kakarot inclined his head, breathless; his dark eyes fixed on mine, glittering with desire.

I held his gaze as my lips moved south, my tongue sliding into grooves and valleys of muscle. I remembered what Kakarot had done for me when I'd awoken screaming from a horrible nightmare; and I considered returning the favor. What my mate was going through with his monster definitely counted as a nightmare after all. One he couldn't escape.

His jeans were already riding low on his hips from the monster's attempt to violate me using his body... and I slid them down a few more inches, freeing his growing arousal to the air. Hesitant, I braced my hands against his upper thighs and took the head of the swelling organ into my mouth. It felt unfamiliar, but the strong scent of Kakarot and the groan he muffled against his teeth washed away any doubt.

"..._gods..._Vegeta..." he panted, trying to arch against me as I took more of him, sucking steadily. His musk was so strong here, rushing through my nose straight to my groin, and I was aware that I was rock hard.

I knew from experience that my mate was impressive when it came to size, and I could barely work all of him into my throat without choking, but I wasn't one to back down from a challenge, and the wordless pleas of my lover that he tried hard to silence were an irresistible inducement.

I pressed my nose to the scant velvet thatch surrounding the thick erection in my mouth, the heady scent drawing a rumbling purr from me. The vibration was enough to bring a ragged groan from Kakarot, and he bit his lip in an attempt to muffle the sound. I took a moment to remember that my hands were both free to touch at their leisure, and one caressed my mate's slowly swishing tail, fluffing the fur the wrong way to stimulate the sensitive nerves; while the other lightly squeezed his balls.

I could feel the shout building in his throat, but he didn't loose the sound, sweating with the effort of staying quiet. I snaked my tongue around his arousal, brushing my tail against the heavy sack beneath.

I heard him choke, '_Vegeta I -!'_ he began desperately; unable to finish the thought as he tensed, throwing his head back and clenching his teeth to keep silent as he came. Hot, rich essence flowed into my mouth and I swallowed, refusing to let even a single drop escape.

I sensed the nirvana pulsing through him, could hear the ecstasy in the rough panting issuing from his mouth as he slowly came down from the spike of intense pleasure, his eyes closed tightly as his chest heaved for air. I licked his skin soothingly, cleaning him and purring softly at the taste.

After a moment, he pulled me gently up to him and enclosed my lips with his, his heartbeat racing against my fingertips, gradually slowing.

'_I love you...' _he promised, threading his fingers through my hair, '..._gods_, _I love you...'_

I drew a steadying breath, feeling that I was still hard and throbbing against his stomach; surely he must have felt it too.

He braced a hand against the mattress and sat up, on his knees with me in his lap. His lips moved down my chin, grazing against my throat as his hands smoothed over my shoulders and back.

"My turn," he murmured against the soft skin, "To take care of you."

I tilted my head to give him better access, letting my eyes flutter closed. My arousal ground against his midsection as he held me closer to him, melding us together and devouring my mouth.

"Kakarot -" I gasped as his head dropped and he kissed the mark on my shoulder, smoothing his tongue over it and sending tingling chills down my arms.

He stroked my tail, releasing short breaths as he licked and sucked on the mark, and a shaky moan left me before I could think to silence it. His hands gripped my shoulders and he pressed his lips more fully to the scarred flesh, a hint of teeth scraping against it. My head fell back, and I felt a groan clawing at my throat. His legs shifted a little, parting, and I felt hardness touching my thigh.

Kakarot's lips moved away and he briefly sucked on his own fingers, lowering the hand to circle said fingers around my entrance, making me shiver.

"Kakarot, please..." I implored unsteadily, feeling the promise of his arousal against my leg.

His fingers circled, explored and stretched until he was satisfied that I was ready, and he slicked himself quickly, kissing me deeply as I lowered myself on his cock. With both of us still sitting, the angle drove him right against my prostate, and I moaned softly, sucking on his lower lip, and then his tongue as it ventured into my mouth.

He waited a moment, and then began to move, rising up, using his knees for leverage, and driving deep inside me as I sank down on him. I helped, finding purchase against the bed and grinding against him, the head of my erection spreading pre-cum against his washboard abdominal muscles. He was panting in my ear, steadying me with a hand around my shoulders, his lips an inch from my mark as he breathed heat over it with each exhale. I was trembling, biting my lips to keep from making a sound, though a grunt or moan sometimes made it past my efforts as my mate thrust into me steadily.

Without warning, teeth plunged into my shoulder, sliding into the hollows of my mark as Kakarot bit down, stray blood that escaped between his lips trickling down my arm. I heard the muffled groan he tried unsuccessfully to mute, and a similar sound escaped my throat, bliss humming through my veins as my blood rushed into my mate's mouth. Kakarot's thrusting faltered a moment, and he released my mark to grab my shoulders, pinning me against the bed on my back, driving into me deeper, harder... his teeth were glinting dark, heavy red, sweat rolling and glistening down his corded neck, passion flooding from his black eyes; I couldn't remember ever seeing him more beautiful... His lips locked with mine and I moaned helplessly, meeting each languid thrust as my mate's pace increased, his tail wrapping around my leaking arousal and stroking it in time with his movement.

'_Kakarot...'_

His teeth dragged across my lower lip, his tongue wrestling with mine as he crushed our mouths together, thrusting rough and fast as his fingers clenched in the sheets, explosive breaths released through his nose. Fighting for breath even as I fought; moaning into my mouth even as I moaned into his.

I felt my groin tighten, and as I reached the precipice of release at last, I disconnected the kiss to sink my teeth into Kakarot's mark, tipping him over the edge as well. I muted my scream against his shoulder and the rush of blood filling my mouth, but Kakarot had no such luck. He managed to muffle the shout by biting his lip hard, to the point of bleeding, but the spike of bottled energy breaking through as he ascended was far from subtle, singeing the bedroom walls and shaking the room to its bones.

Alright, some of that energy was mine too, if my own golden hair was any indication.

When I could finally breathe again, I released my ascension and opened my eyes, letting go of my mate's mark to look at him. He shivered above me, his eyes feral teal as he struggled for control, panting raggedly, sweat dripping from his skin. I fought back a laugh to see chips of plaster from the ceiling dusting his blonde hair, likely from the violent tremor that had shook the room.

I leaned up and kissed him, "Are you alright now, Kakarot?"

I meant emotionally; though I could sense that he had stabilized significantly from the initial state of despair and conflict he had been feeling after he'd locked the monster away, I wanted to hear it from his lips.

He seemed to understand, and he nuzzled my neck gently, "I'm alright...Thanks, Vegeta."

Pulling out of me carefully, he lowered his power to his normal state and curled up at my side, sighing peacefully and drawing me close to him.

The scent of blood, sweat, and sex was anything but sedating; but the loose contentment wrapping around me and the deep purr vibrating against my back were enough to weigh on my eyelids, tempting me to sleep.

'_Vegeta?'_ Kakarot began, interrupting the weightlessness beginning to take over my body.

"Hmm?" I asked patiently.

'…._It'll get better, right?'_

I blinked and looked at him over my shoulder, '_What will?'_

He made a gesture with one hand, '_Everything.'_

I sighed, '_I can't promise a happy ending, Kakarot, I don't believe in fairy tales... But as far as I'm concerned... as long as you're with me, everything else will work itself out.'_

He was quiet for a moment, processing this.

'_I guess you're right...'_ he trailed off, then added, '_And Vegeta...?'_

_'What?'_ I asked.

He brushed his lips against my shoulder, '_Love you.'_

I let my eyes slip closed and smiled into my pillow, '_I love you too, Kakarot. Now go to sleep.'_

TBC


	25. Chapter 25

Going Gold

Chapter 25

**Tesserot**

I couldn't say I slept that night, but I was snapped out of whatever sense of peace I'd found in the silence when someone shook my shoulder.

"Tess, wake up," Veito's voice was hushed, like usual, but it was also trembling with sounded like fear.

I blinked and looked over my shoulder at him. He was standing at my bedside, his black eyes unnaturally bright, as if he was on the edge of tears.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He hesitated, like he was afraid of sounding stupid, "...I'm... I'm scared... can I... can I sleep with you tonight?"

I tilted my head a little, perplexed. "Why aren't you asking Dad and _Tӫtka_ to help?"

Whenever Veito had had a nightmare or something in the past, he'd gone to his parents for comfort... why not now?

His gaze dropped to the floor, and he mumbled something I didn't hear.

"What?" I asked.

"I said..." he stammered, meeting my eye, "I said Dad's the one who's scaring me..."

I was surprised, and I sat up after a moment, "You're afraid of Dad?"

"Not him," Veito murmured, "His ki... can't you feel it?"

Uncertain, I extended my senses... and I wondered how I could have missed it. Where Dad's strong, bright ki would usually be, instead I sensed some dark, steely mess that I couldn't interpret; absent of anything resembling my father... it was as if he'd disappeared entirely. I sensed my mother's ki as well, but it was low and fearful, nearly frantic with terror.

It was that dark ki that unnerved me though. It seemed a little familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"What's going on...?" I murmured.

Veito shook his head, "I d-don't know, but..." he looked at me pleadingly.

I sighed, "Alright, come on in." I pulled the blanket aside and Veito crawled, relieved, into my bed. He curled up next to me with a small, grateful purr, and I absently wrapped a hand around his shoulders and looked at the ceiling. It was the job of a parent to calm their kids down, not mine. Still, it was gratifying that Veito felt safe with me, more so than he did with his mom and dad. Granted, I doubted I would feel safe in the midst of the chaos in the other room, but I couldn't help but smirk a little as I thought of how clingy Veito had always been to my mother. _Seems I've replaced you as his favorite,_ I thought to myself.

Veito was warm; his scent like mint and cinnamon, his tail wrapped loosely around my arm. After a moment, I drifted to sleep next to my brother.

It seemed to be mere seconds before I was awoken again. This time by the entire room shaking. My eyes snapped open, but the tremor had already passed... and the ki signals of my parents down the hall had stabilized... nothing to suggest a disaster or anything. I glanced at Veito beside me; he was still asleep, oblivious to the goings on, his face nestled against my shoulder. His silk black hair brushed against my face, and I felt a soft purr rising unbidden in my chest. I let my eyes slip closed and was about to fall sleep again, when something else disturbed me.

"Big brother...?" a tentative little voice asked.

I looked over the side of the bed to see Kísta standing unsteadily in the doorway of the room, her thumb in her mouth and her short tail flicking hopefully.

"What is it, Kísta?" I blinked. She must have gotten out of her crib. I knew she could do that, but I didn't know she knew how to climb stairs, "You want to come in here too?"

She blinked her large, innocent eyes once, "Please?"

I couldn't sense anything to be scared of right now, and the dual ki signals of our parents were peaceful and twined with sleep... why was Kísta awake?

My tail uncurled resignedly from its light grip around Veito's wrist, "Sure, why not?" I muttered, scooting over so that my sister had room on my other side to crawl in.

She clambered into the bed and snuggled up against my chest, "Thanks, big brother..." she sighed happily.

"Any particular reason why _you_ didn't go into Mom and Dad's bed?" I asked her. After all, there wasn't anything to be scared of now...

"Tried," Kísta yawned, showing her tiny, perfect teeth, "...door's locked..."

So that was it. I quashed a small twinge of irritation towards my parents; instead tuning my ki to be soothing for my younger siblings, an arm around each of them, trying to find some semblance of sleep for myself.

X

I awoke once again to the sunlight streaming through the window, birds chirping outside. Veito and Kísta were curled up on either side of me, fast asleep, both of them purring contentedly. I felt a surge of pride, knowing I could so soothe my siblings with my presence... And then I noticed something... While Kísta was cuddled up to me in a sweet, innocent way that would be expected from such a young child, Veito was equally close to me, pressing his whole self into an embrace that seemed to seek something from me, as though he needed me to be near him... But Veito was twelve years old, he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself... why did he need as much comfort from me as a one-year-old toddler? The protective stirring in my chest told me that I enjoyed the contact, but I wasn't entirely sure why.

Careful not to disturb either of them, I slipped out of bed, stretching and flicking a kink out of my tail. I had not slept that well, but I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep now that it was morning.

I walked unhurriedly down the stairs, stopping a few steps from the bottom with my tail resting on the banister. I had assumed no one was awake, but it seemed I was wrong. My dad was up, dressed in loose sweatpants and a T-shirt; flipping pancakes deftly, his gaze elsewhere. I felt conflicted. The irritation from last night mixed with a strange sense of pity when I glimpsed his expression. Something between weary and lost. I wondered what exactly had happened during the night; I'd only been able to sense a portion of it through ki, and I didn't know what had essentially wiped out my father's energy signal for a while there...I wasn't sure I _wanted_ to know.

I stepped down the remaining stairs and wandered over to the kitchen, swishing my tail so that my dad would catch my scent and know I was there.

He looked up from the skillet he was watching and blinked at me once, his tail unguarded, a clear conveyer of his emotions; suspended low over the floor, sweeping slowly with uncertainty. He was nervous around me, but I didn't know why. I was less than half his height, even less so his age, what did he have to be nervous about? It should be the other way around. I used to be one hundred percent sure that despite my father's strength, he would never hurt me... But since that incident that had resulted in Veito's death... I didn't know what to think anymore.

"What are you doing?" I said flatly, giving nothing away; leaning against the wall and bracing one foot against it.

He raised the spatula in his hand a little, "Making breakfast..."

I fought back a disbelieving snort, "For the kids you scared to death last night?"

He winced, but tried to feign ignorance, "What are you talking about?" he turned back to pouring batter into the pan, averting his gaze from me.

_Guilty conscience?_ I thought, wondering what he was trying to hide... how much it would take to push him past that indifferent facade...

"Nice foresight," I muttered, "Locking your children out so they wouldn't be able to bother you."

He didn't respond, and for a moment I wondered if he'd heard.

"Of course, you couldn't very well suppress your ki for their sake," I went on, jabbing at the barrier he'd put up, trying to bring it down, "That would be a bit too much to ask, huh?"

Again, no answer, but he turned one of the browning pancakes a little too murderously to be believable for his passive act, and I could see the handle of the spatula bending slightly in his grip. I was getting to him. It was somehow satisfying to know that I could.

"So what was it then?" I pried smoothly, knowing I was igniting anger in him with the casual accusation, "A new power level? A moment of insanity?" I wasn't sure if I should try my last attempt, unsure if he knew what I had guessed; but I did know why the room had been shaking before... I wasn't a stupid little kid anymore. "...An excuse for you to get lai -?"

He cut me off, "WHY DON'T -" the first two words were very nearly a shout, but he caught his temper after they left his mouth, "-you go find something more productive to do than antagonizing me?"

I sighed and crossed my arms, "But where's the fun in that?"

Dad was silent, but I saw his eyes flicker angry blue for a moment before returning to their usual black.

I decided to cut to the chase, "What are you hiding, Dad?" I snapped.

Switching off the burner under the skillet and slapping the bent spatula down on the counter, he left the half-cooked batch of pancakes on the stove and walked away from me pointedly, tail lashing.

Curiosity overtook me, and rather than make a scene going after him, I followed at a distance, undetected.

He didn't go far, he stopped on the edge of the woods outside, closing his eyes frustratedly and taking deep breaths. After a few moments, his tail slowed from its previously furious lashing, and a lot of the tension melted from his stance, leaving him looking bereft and tired.

Much of the spite I'd been feeling drained suddenly, to see my supposedly indestructible father look so... vulnerable. I supposed I had been pretty horrible to him, and it didn't occur to me that he might have been scared last night too... he'd nearly died, just hours before that strange ki had surfaced... But I wasn't used to associating the idea of fear with my dad. He was supposed to be perfect; not confused and flawed like everyone else... like me...

Before I could change my mind, I'd taken a hesitant step towards him; and I followed the impulse, rushing to his side and hugging around his waist, feeling rather like I was a small child again. And I supposed I was, still.

"I'm sorry." I said into his shirt, not knowing what else to say.

I could feel that he'd gone rigid the moment I came near him, but the moment's panic had turned to only surprise, and one of his hands gradually ran through my hair, a patriarchal motion he hadn't done in a long time.

"I'm sorry too." he murmured.

There was probably a lot more that needed to be said... but I couldn't think of anything right off hand. I was just glad to have my dad back, even if it had been me that had pushed him away to begin with.

XXX

**Vegeta**

I smiled to myself. From my place by the upstairs window, I had a perfect view of the beginnings of reconciliation between my mate and son, by the edge of the woods. I was glad something between those two had been fixed, I was tired of them glaring at each other like a couple of hotheaded dominant animals all the time. They probably wouldn't snap back into being caring father and loyal son like they used to be, and things might be awkward for a while... Both of them were socially awkward these days, I supposed that had something to do with status. Still, only time would tell. I just hoped nothing catastrophic would put them on the verge of killing each other again... and I hoped Kakarot would tell Tess how to get his awakening monster under control before it got as out of hand as his own could be.

Much as Kakarot had my undying love, and much as he'd changed... he could still be an idiot sometimes. He didn't know how to ask for help when he needed it, and I hoped Tesserot wouldn't develop the same problem. Housing a mental monster was bad enough... but with Tess being a hormonal teenager, I had a feeling it would be worse for him. _As long as he knows his family is there for him..._

I sighed and turned away from the window. One problem fixed, but there were still more to go before anything of significance was solved.

TBC


	26. Chapter 26

Going Gold

Chapter 26

**Tesserot**

After a few minutes, my dad and I headed back inside, and once breakfast was done cooking, he joined me at the table. _Tӫtka_ was already there, but apparently Kísta and Veito were still asleep. I wasn't entirely surprised, they'd both been up pretty late; still, I made a mental note to make sure some pancakes were left for both of them.

Silence reigned, except for the chink of cutlery and the scrape of a shifting chair now and again. I must have gotten lost in thought, because I was surprised to hear my dad speak.

"Tess," he said slowly, carefully, his gaze on his plate, "I really am sorry, you know. A lot of what's happened lately has been my fault; you never asked for any of it..." he chased a piece of pancake around with his fork distractedly, "I wouldn't be surprised if... you blamed me for everything..."

I was about to wave off his apology and tell him it was fine, but I couldn't seem to convince the consoling words to leave my mouth.

_You're still angry at him, _a little voice murmured.

_I'm not._ I argued, unsure why I was arguing with myself.

_You've got reason to be,_ the voice insisted, _He killed your brother, he's been giving you the cold shoulder for weeks..._

I suppressed a growl of frustration and knotted my fingers in my hair. That voice didn't sound like it belonged to me; but only insane people heard voices in their heads, right? Either way, why couldn't I shut it up?

I felt my dad's eyes on me; there was something weighted in them that I couldn't quite interpret. Some emotion I didn't understand.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, sympathetically; almost a whisper. My _tӫtka _paused with his fork halfway to his slightly-open mouth, his gaze darting between us uncertainly.

"Fine." I muttered, maybe a little sharper than I should have. Truthfully, I was getting a headache, and the whispering little voice was still harassing me, much as I tried to shut it out.

Dad's eyebrows furrowed, his tail flicking anxiously, "You can tell me anything... you know that, right?"

I averted my gaze and pushed my plate away from me, shaking my head, "You'll say I'm crazy..."

Something flashed simultaneously in both of my parents' eyes, and I wondered briefly if they were speaking telepathically.

My dad's expression remained level, unreadable, "I seriously doubt that."

I didn't glance up at either of them, biting my lip.

_Go ahead and tell them,_ the little voice snickered, _I'm sure there's an asylum cell with your name on it._

Abruptly, I pushed back my chair and got up from the table, turning to leave and sort out whatever was possessing me on my own.

"Tesserot, are you listening to the monster?" My dad blurted suddenly.

I stopped in my tracks, one hand still braced against the back of the chair.

I turned and looked at him."What?"

His eyes were surprisingly intense, a deeply empathetic and urgent expression on his face.

"Do you hear it?" he asked steadily, "That voice that tells you what to do and gives the worst advice at the worst times?"

I stared at him, at a loss for words.

"How do you -?" I began, trailing off.

He sighed explosively, "Because I hear it too." he met my eye stanchly, "I have for years. Since before you were born."

My mouth was still slightly ajar, and shock prevented me from speaking any of the questions that jumped to mind. _He understands... He's gone through the same thing...? _

I glanced at my _tӫtka; _he remained silent, his gaze still flitting slowly between my father and me. Calculation and pity made a strange combination on his features.

Slowly, and a little shakily, I sat back down and blinked at my dad expectantly. _What does he know? What can he tell me about this...?_

"You haven't answered me," Dad said softly, "Are you listening to the voice?"

I hesitated, then, "Yes, I can hear it..."

He shook his head quickly, "That's not what I asked. Are you _listening _to it? Do you do what it tells you and take its advice?"

I wasn't sure what he meant... "I d... I don't know..."

An expression much like forced patience settled on his face, as if he was trying to slow down for me...

"How long have you been able to hear it?" _Tӫtka _broke in before he could.

"Since... a little after Veito was brought back to life," I said slowly, thinking back. I had to wonder how my mother knew about this madness too. Did everyone in my family have their own voice? Did everyone in the world?

As if he read my mind, my dad spoke, "Vegeta has met my monster," he said flatly, shooting his mate a meaningful glance, "But he does not hear one of his own. As far as I know, it's just me... and possibly you, if this means what I think it does."

I was beyond confused now, "Why do you call it that?" I asked.

"What?" Dad blinked perplexedly.

"Why do you call it a monster? You've never _seen_ it, have you?" This whole thing seemed a little insane, and it sounded foolish to say out loud... but then, most everything in my life made zero sense; this just seemed to be another bizarre turn of events that everyone but me had been in on.

Dad shook his head, "No, I've never seen it... though your mother got pretty close..." the second part was barely audible, and I had to wonder if it had anything to do with the strange ki I'd sensed in place of my father's last night.

"As for the name..." he paused hesitantly, "I'm not sure where it came from... But after witnessing firsthand what it could do, I couldn't think of anything more fitting; and it kind of stuck."

My _tӫtka_ surprised me. He spoke quietly, but his voice was shaking with what sounded like anger, "It's a monster all right," he growled, tail swishing, "From what I've seen of it – and what it's done to the people I love – everything about it is monstrous."

"But what exactly _is _it?" I asked, "It can't just be a voice; that makes no sense."

Dad was silent for a moment, "I don't know." he said through clenched teeth, "Fourteen years, and I still have no idea what it is... Or what it wants."

"What does it... do?" I had only heard a few dozen disconnected words from this alleged monster, after all; I was much less familiar with the surreal concept than he was.

"Physically? Nothing, unless you let it." Dad muttered bitterly, "Mentally...?" his breath huffed out in what could have been a sigh or a grim laugh, "...It's a real bitch on the mind."

I waited for him to elaborate, but he said nothing else.

"...And?" I pressed.

_Tӫtka _shot me a look that seemed to say '_Be patient with him,'_ before his gaze moved worriedly to rest on my dad again. Dad's eyes were closed frustratedly, and he was breathing as if by conscious, deliberate effort. After a moment he nodded shallowly; and I was sure he had been listening to whatever _Tӫtka _had said to him in his mind.

His eyes opened slowly and he looked at me sadly, "I hate to see you getting stuck in the same mess I got stuck in..." he said after a moment, "And whatever happens, I don't want it to hurt you... or anyone else."

My tail curled around my leg nervously, "How do you control it?" I asked.

"You don't." Dad said bluntly, almost harshly, "You don't control it. You can ignore it, but only to a certain extent... You can drown it out, but the same restrictions apply. You can't banish it and you can't outright refuse anything it commands of you..." The slightly harried, haunted look that came into his eyes told me he spoke from experience.

"But..." he looked at me determinedly, "If you try hard enough, you can outwit it."

"How?"

His gaze shifted a little, "It's dangerous to try unless you know you can win... But there are ways to cheat it or thwart it indirectly."

"Like what?" I prodded impatiently.

He sighed, "Three things. Leniency, lying, and love."

I blinked. It sounded like something a teacher would tell a student to help them study for a test...

After a second, during which _Tӫtka_ gave him an exasperated look that said '…._really?' _and he ducked his head away to conceal the responding flush, he clarified unsteadily.

"Leniency is tolerating what the monster asks... if it doesn't hurt anyone but you, sometimes you have to take a little pain to keep others safe."

"What if it asks something that doesn't hurt anyone at all?"I asked.

He shook his head, "I doubt it ever will. The monster is a glutton for pain; if its intent is to harm no one, it'll usually just keep quiet."

I thought about what he'd said before, "You mentioned lying..." I inquired, "You can lie to it?"

"Sort of," Dad shifted uncomfortably in his chair, "Sometimes, if you lie to other people, it will shut the monster up briefly. Personally I think it just likes dishonesty..." I was about to point something out, but he cut me off with a disciplinary glare, "That does _not_ mean I'm allowing you to lie to everyone for no reason, Tesserot. But if telling an untruth will spare someone else harm, make sure it's a convincing one."

"What about sparing yourself harm...?" I asked tentatively.

"You can't lie to yourself." _Tӫtka_ cut in vehemently.

"Well, it won't do you any good if you try, anyway," Dad amended for him, "That's just deluding yourself."

"So basically... you're suggesting the only way to control the monster is to become a dishonest masochist?" I snapped.

Dad winced, and I wondered if I'd hit the nail on the head by accident.

"No." He said after a moment, "I haven't gotten to the third one yet."

"Love?" I snorted, "Pretty cliché, don't you think?"

Both of my parents gave me the exact same piercing look, and I regretted the remark.

"This last thing is actually the strongest and most reliable way to quiet the monster," Dad said fervently, wrapping the tip of his tail around my _tӫtka's_ wrist, "If you feel it creeping up on you, standing near someone you love - or even just _thinking_ about them - will keep it at bay almost invariably, if only for the moment you need to regain control. I would call it an antidote if it were permanent, but even this doesn't last that long...unless you're very fortunate."

"Fortunate how?" I asked, confused.

"For ten years," Dad said, "The monster was completely silent. In all that time, I was rarely more than four feet away from your mother, and when I was, the mental link went into overdrive. As soon as I started distancing myself though, it crept up on me again... almost without my noticing it."

I rolled my eyes impatiently, "Why don't you just handcuff yourself to the person you love then?" I muttered, "Keep a cure with you at all times?"

A growl sounded from _Tӫtka's_ throat, "If you were to do that, it wouldn't count as feeling love; it's too selfish. Forcing them to stay by your side even if they don't want to? That's not a cure, that's a portable prisoner."

I fell silent, startled by the iciness, very near disgust, in his tone.

There was a long moment of complete silence. I heard the door shut upstairs; Veito must have gotten up. Apparently my parents noticed too.

"Tess, we only don't want you to get hurt by this," Dad said slowly, "If you ever feel like it's too strong, or no one understands, or you can't be near someone you choose to love... remember that your Mom and I love you no matter what happens. You can always use us as a temporary cure."

I thought a moment, "Do I have to keep it a secret?" I asked, "I mean... is there a rule, or...?"

Dad looked at me for a few seconds, as if contemplating saying yes and leaving it at that.

"It's your mind, and your monster," he said after a moment, "It's not as important who you decide to trust with it... as who you decide to trust _it_ with."

TBC

_((That whole chapter was one big long explanation of the monster. Some of it was awkward, some of it was unclear... I think I like some of the dialogue though._

_At the approval of certain readers, I'm contemplating writing a third installment for this story once it's finished. Summer is starting, after all, and I'll need something overly-complicated and angsty to occupy me, right? I dunno, it's a little controversial right now._

_Thanks for reading and reviewing. And thanks for sticking with me so long, this story is turning out longer than I thought it would be._

_Love you guys, and I appreciate the nice reviews,_

_-Shinsun))_


	27. Chapter 27

Going Gold

Chapter 27

**Vegeta**

I awoke the next day, surrounded by the warmth and security of my mate beside me. His tail was twined with mine and his breathing was slow and deep with sleep. I purred to myself and curled up closer to him.

It seemed things had calmed down since the day before; and there seemed to be some form of healing between Kakarot and Tess. They no longer glared at each other, and they could be in the same room without raised hackles or retorts. But it was more than just tolerance; they actually talked like a father and son should. I wasn't sure if that acceptance would last – it was hard to predict anything between two domineering male Saiyans – but I was glad for the relief from all the chaos. A little peace would do us all some good.

Kakarot stirred, and I turned over to look at him. I was surprised to see his eyes bright, tear tracks still glistening and fresh on his cheeks.

I was hesitant, unsure what had happened, "Kakarot, you're crying..."

"I know."

"Did you have a nightmare?" I asked, confused.

He shook his head, "No, no, it was a good dream." he murmured, "A _really_ good dream."

I was surprised, and I blinked at him questioningly, asking without words if he would elaborate.

He looked at the ceiling, wiping the moisture from his eyes, "We... we were all together, all our family – even Gohan; I could feel he was there, in spirit. There was just... this sense of wholeness, happiness... Tesserot and Veito were smiling, they were safe and content... And Kísta and Pan were there too...they were all grown up. And Goten and Trunks had found their own paths – I remember them talking about their new families..."

He paused a moment, looking at me with love glinting in his eyes, "You were there of course, but... you were truly happy," one of his hands passed from my waist to my shoulder slowly, "And all your scars had disappeared... There was something else too." Something akin to sadness or longing came into his gaze, "We were all free. The monster was gone, not even a memory... and Veito didn't have his attacks or anything..."

He trailed off, and fell silent.

"It was everything you wanted our life to be," I said after a moment, "But nothing's perfect, Kakarot. You have to take some of the bad with the good."

"I know," he sighed, "But that's hard sometimes. You all deserve more, and if I could give it, I would."

I noticed then that he hadn't mentioned himself at all in this dream of his. His own singular freedom and happiness... It occurred to me that it didn't matter to him; he was happy as long as his family was happy. And he wanted to make everything better for the children he raised, to make everything easier for them.

It was extremely selfless, and I felt pride in my mate rise in my chest. With the monster's insistence, he had become much more selfish than he used to be; but this instance of caring, putting his family entirely before himself, showed where his heart really lay.

I leaned over and kissed him gently, "It's alright, Kakarot. You've done a lot for all of us, and I wouldn't change anything that's happened for the world."

X

It was warm later that day, with the crisp, lingering dampness that came with early spring, and Kakarot suggested we take advantage of the thaw and spend some time outside. We took the kids to the lake, though it was too early in the season to fish or anything. At first they were active, Tess and Veito sparring while Kísta watched, tossing stones in the water just to see them splash; but after a while the boys just walked along the shore, conversing with each other, and Kísta curled up and took a nap in her father's lap.

About an hour passed peacefully, and Kakarot seemed to be contemplating something. I knew what he was thinking, but I said nothing, waiting for him to act on it first.

"Hey, Tess!" he raised his voice to his son, who looked up from talking with his brother, "Come over here please."

The boys exchanged a glance, and Tess shrugged and walked over, his tail loosely swinging, but perplexed.

"What is it?" he asked, sitting down next to his dad and me in the grass.

Kakarot hesitated, and then held something out to him. I couldn't see from where I was sitting, but I knew what it was.

"Happy birthday," Kakarot said softly.

Tess's face lit up, and he took the gold credit card his father had given him, "You remembered?"

"When have I ever forgot?" Kakarot blinked.

"I just thought..." Tess stammered, "With everything that's been going on, that -"

Kakarot shook his head once, "We wouldn't forget your birthday, Tesserot." there was a pause, then his tail flicked, "That part's from your mother."

Wrapped around the card was a thick silver chain with a pendant of the Saiyan royal crest hanging from it.

"A young prince should wear his symbol proudly," I said levelly. With a smirk I added, "You're fourteen now, you're old enough to brag about your title."

My gift was one of symbolism, and Kakarot's was of privilege; but both meant responsibility. Upholding a rank, even if it didn't really mean anything anymore – except to those of us who remembered the Saiyan race and embodied it; and being entrusted with his own money and the means to use it whenever he wanted to. ...I was pretty sure Bulma had helped with Kakarot's, and while it might have seemed shallow to give a teenager money for their birthday; that wasn't what Kakarot was giving his son. He was giving him trust.

Tess put the necklace on over his head, letting the royal crest lay right over his heart. He slipped the golden card in his back pocket and hugged his dad, then me.

"Thanks," he smiled.

"You've earned it," Kakarot replied, "And you've made us proud, son."

Tess nodded, and then raced over to where he'd left his brother, likely to show him his new treasure.

'_You're sure it was a good idea entrusting him with his own money?'_ I asked, '_He's just a boy.'_

Kakarot's tail curled around mine and he gazed at his sons as they talked and shoved each other teasingly, '_He'll be a man before he knows it.'_

He was quiet for a while, and then he smirked, "I can't wait until he sees how much is on that thing."

I blinked, "How much?"

"I didn't ask for an exact figure..." he said slowly, "But there were more than two zeros."

I rolled my eyes, '_You're going to spoil him rotten.'_

_'Not me,'_ he laughed, '_More than half of it's Bulma's money.'_

'_But you gave it to him.'_

He shrugged a little, leaning against the tree behind us, "I trust him."

I sighed resignedly, "I trust him too, it's Bulma I don't trust."

I was half-teasing, but seriously; what was a kid going to do with over a thousand dollars and no restrictions?

XXX

**Tesserot**

I had almost forgotten today was my fourteenth birthday. It wasn't as if anyone had gone out of their way to remind me, and I'd been kept busy with the monotony of school and the conflicted thoughts about this monster Dad had told me about and what it meant. I was a little surprised, then, that both of my parents had remembered it.

It was rare that there was ever a real celebration in the house, or something to celebrate to begin with. But when we came back from the lake there were red and gold streamers draped along the ceiling and the heavenly smell of cake in the air. I wondered how it had been pulled off, and then I glimpsed Goten and Trunks icing said cake in the kitchen.

_So going to the lake for the day was a diversion..._ I thought, with a grudging admiration for my dad's planning. I had a feeling from his pleased grin that he was behind the whole thing. How he had gotten Goten and Trunks to focus and actually accomplish something was beyond me.

It took me a minute to notice that there was more company than the two demis. Pan and her mom were here – I noticed that implied the absence of Gohan, but I shoved the thought down, not wanting to damper the mood, especially since it was all for me. Bulma and her parents were also present, along with her boyfriend Yamcha lingering by her side.

The scarred fighter was muttering something, but my sensitive hearing only caught the end of his statement, "...spent more on a kid who's not even related to you than you did on our anniversary."

Bulma flipped a lock of blue hair out of her face carelessly, "I took you to Fiji, are you complaining? Besides, Tess is related to me... if not by blood then by circumstance. He's family."

I turned away from the conversation – more to hide the embarrassed blush I could feel crawling up my face than anything else.

I wore the crest Mom had given me proudly displayed on my chest, swearing to never take it off if I could help it. I received other gifts throughout the day, but that was the most significant one... except for Dad's, but his was technically invisible. Trust wasn't something you could wear around your neck and show people, but I could feel it just the same, and it meant a lot.

Food was eaten, conversations were had, and cake was cut; and as the day drew to a close, people gradually began to leave. Somehow I felt a little relieved, being around so much talking and activity tended to wear me out. Apparently the feeling was mutual with my close family. Saiyans weren't always completely comfortable among a party of humans, I suppose; and while their company was perfectly welcome and invited, it did get stressful after a while.

Videl took Pan home first, lingering to talk with my dad in undertone. I could guess what they were talking about, because in the midst of the celebration, there was a brief flash of still-raw grief from both of them. Gohan.

Bulma and Yamcha left next, the woman promising to visit again soon; and her parents trailed behind casually. I almost wondered why they were even here.

Trunks and Goten stayed the longest, and I suppose they were entitled to; this used to be their home too. Goten sat with Kísta, telling Veito about an embarrassing date he'd been on that had gone wrong. I could sense that Veito wasn't particularly interested in what his older brother was saying, but he nodded and listened politely. Passive Veito, I had to give him credit for that.

Eventually, though, both demis exchanged goodbyes with each of their family members, wishing me well in particular, and then taking to the night sky for their apartment in the city.

And then it was quieter. Kísta fell asleep quickly from all the excitement, and then Veito and I retreated up the stairs, while our parents talked in the living room.

Veito sat next to me on my bed, looking in fascination at the intricate design of the pendant around my neck and asking what I was going to do now that I had my own money to spend. After a while, we kind of ran out of things to say.

"It's not fair," I said after a moment.

Veito blinked, "What's not fair?"

My tail slashed, "Nobody remembered _your_ birthday; everyone was sick and then there was the whole incident with the gravity room and Gohan d -" I cut myself off. That subject just kept coming up today didn't it? I supposed it was the two-sided coin principle of the situation. Celebrate a progressing life, remember a life lost.

"It doesn't matter," Veito said, "I was more worried about you guys than any of that; and they had reason to forget."

I decided not to argue, though I probably could have.

"Don't worry about me, Tess, I'm fine." he said after a moment, "Today is about you, remember?"

"I don't feel any older," I muttered, turning the silver crest between my fingers absently.

"Nobody ever feels any older on their birthday," Veito laughed quietly.

I sighed, "I guess not."

There was another stretch of silence, and I wondered if Veito would just call it a night and crawl into his own bed. His tail was ticking against the side of the bed slowly, and his gaze was down, deep in thought. I smiled to notice he bit his lip when he was thinking, it made the intense expression almost cute.

"Tess," he said after a moment.

"Hmm?" I asked.

He hesitated, "Everyone got you something for your birthday except me..."

"That's oka -" I began, but he cut me off, leaning across the space between us and kissing me.

On the lips.

Shock and confusion warred it out, and in the wild moment that my mind flailed about; it didn't occur to me to actually refuse. In some strange, distant way... it seemed right.

My brother kissed me for a few seconds, and then drew away. "Happy birthday, Tess."

TBC

_((Do not. Judge. Me._

_Sorry for not writing anything in a while, my inspiration has been kind of stuck (I know I keep saying that, but it's true). And I know I wasn't keen on writing incest for this at first, but enough people seemed approving, or semi-approving, so I decided to go for it._

_Thank you for reading and reviewing... and... I'm going sit in a corner and think about what I've done._

_-Shinsun))_


	28. Chapter 28

Going Gold

Chapter 28

**Tesserot**

I was silent, dumbstruck, for a long time, just looking at Veito, my mouth slightly ajar with surprise and confusion.

"What...?" I began once I finally regained my voice, "Why did...?"

He shifted uncomfortably and looked away from me, and I could see the embarrassed flush across his cheeks, "Sorry... I didn't mean..."

"Y-you kissed me," I stammered, "Why?"

I still wasn't sure how I felt about that. Something in me was oddly pleased, satisfied; the primal feelings in my chest that I associated with the monster and my Saiyan side were purring with approval... But everything else was confused, conflicted... people weren't supposed to kiss their own brothers, right? Not like that... It went against everything I'd been taught about society.

_Yeah, everything you've been taught by _humans _in that school of theirs, _there was definitely a tinge of the monster in those words that entered my mind, _And how human are you exactly?_

Veito blinked at me once, his expression mostly blank, if a little apprehensive; he was as confused as I was.

"I don't... I don't know," he said after a moment, his tail swishing slowly, "Something said it was the right thing to do... and I was just looking at you with that necklace, and you looked so grown up... You just smelled so good and you were warm..." he trailed off, looking a little flustered.

I studied his face for a long time, indecisive. His cool, spiced scent drifted into my nose, now slightly overlapped with my own scent... and strangely that idea seemed to stroke something in me the right way.

"Are you mad at me?" Veito asked quietly, looking up through his bangs to meet my eye.

"...No..." I answered hesitantly.

He exhaled with relief, his tail relaxing from its previous nervous bristling.

"We can pretend it didn't happen if you want," he went on hastily, color returning to the strong, regal cheekbones he'd inherited from our mother.

I thought about it. Some part of me – I didn't know how big that part was yet – had enjoyed the kiss Veito gave me... but I wasn't sure what would come of it now. If we both dropped it and pretended it never happened at all, we'd both still have the memory of it... but if we acknowledged it and... maybe allowed it to happen again...

It might have been my imagination, but I could have sworn my pulse increased its pace, and I felt heat flood over my skin.

_See? Just the thought of kissing him again makes you short of breath,_ the monster purred, _Why deny yourself what harms nobody and pleases you both?_

"No," I repeated, lifting Veito's chin in my hand gently, "It's okay." Following the impulse and a nudge of the whispering monster, I tentatively connected our lips again, this time taking the time to study how it felt. Soft, warm lips yielding to my own, a taste sweet and familiar reaching me as a hesitant tongue ventured to sample them. I could feel Veito gasp a breath as he allowed me access, and without thinking, I sank my tongue into his mouth, exploring cautiously and tasting the warm depths. I heard and felt a tremulous purr coming from my younger brother's chest, interrupted by a soft moan as I stroked my daring tongue against his.

My stomach felt tight; I felt something stir in my lower region, and disconnected the kiss quickly in alarm. I was surprised to find that I was panting for breath; as was Veito, his cheeks were flushed, his scent utterly swamped with mine. The black fur on his tail was fluffed out, and it took me a moment to realize mine was the same way, and it refused to lie flat. He was still purring shakily, a sound that brought an answering rumble from my own chest.

_Gods..._ I thought distantly, trying to get control of myself, _that was... _

"Amazing," Veito murmured softly, as if reading my thoughts.

I tried to get the idea that not two seconds ago I had been making out with my brother to properly form in my mind. It still sounded strange.

_And why does the very thought make me want more...?_ I thought uncertainly.

Veito looked at me for a long while, his breathing gradually returning to normal, though my scent lingered on him... I wanted to keep it that way, for some reason.

"I guess we should go to sleep," he said eventually, glancing at the pitch black sky outside the window. It was late... But I didn't know how I was going to be able to sleep when I felt this electrified.

"Can I stay here tonight?" Veito asked, laying a hand beside him on my bed.

Something thrilled down my spine, coming to rest as a warm feeling in my stomach. I'd never felt anything like it...

"Sure," I breathed, unable to think of a reason to refuse.

He smiled fleetingly and crawled under the blankets, snuggling up against my side as I joined him.

_I have no idea what I'm getting myself into,_ I thought ruefully as I flicked off the lightswitch and curled up next to my brother.

X

Veito said we shouldn't tell anyone. I don't know if it was fear of being judged or what, but he said we shouldn't even tell Mom and Dad. I wasn't so sure; neither of us had any experience in this regard, it might be good to have some back-up knowledge before we decided anything.

My brother had kissed me, and then let me kiss him... I wasn't sure what that made us exactly, or what we were supposed to do about it... I mean, I was a typical – if extraterrestrial - teenage male who went to public school, I wasn't clueless about what they talked about in Sex Ed, and I'd seen a lot of people kiss in the hallways between classes, but... what happens if you feel that way for your sibling? They never covered that particular topic.

The idea of asking my parents about kissing or attraction was an uncomfortable enough prospect... but I wouldn't even know where to begin asking about this.

I didn't even really know how I _felt_ to begin with. I had even less of an idea how Veito might feel. He'd started it, after all... but he seemed as uncertain as I was, if not more.

A few days passed this way, wondering, questioning; and for that brief time Veito and I avoided each other for a while, trying to sort out what we were going to do now. Was it even that big a deal? So we'd kissed once or twice, who cared?

But... it was the nagging that I couldn't quite shake telling me I wanted to do it again that bothered me. I knew I had a tendency to be possessive of things – since I was a small child and I refused to share my toys or my food – but what if I got possessive of a _person?_

The monster was another factor. It was still new, and foreign to me, but I knew it was pleased whenever I started thinking about Veito, and when I had kissed him it had roared its approval. But... Dad had said not to trust the monster... He had not, however, mentioned what I should do if the monster and I both wanted the same thing.

I was at the dinner table with my family, mulling over the same line of thought over and over as I chewed without tasting, just giving my mouth something to do while I thought. Veito was next to me, but he seemed distracted too, actually playing with his food; something I'd not known him to do. Across the table, Kísta was putting clumsy spoonfuls of mashed potatoes in her mouth; she hadn't quite gotten the hang of the skill yet.

"Something wrong, Tess?" my dad asked eventually, looking at me with concern. He seemed particularly sensitive to my mood these days, and I had to wonder why. Why did he pay attention to me so closely?

"Nothing," I said flatly, studying the edge of my chopsticks to avoid his inquisitive gaze.

There was a stretch of silence, and I felt Veito watching me, asking me something without words. I glanced at him and he raised an eyebrow.

When everyone started cleaning up, I lingered. I hadn't eaten as much as I normally would have, and the fact that there was still food left untouched on my plate was evidence of that. Veito, on the other hand, seemed in a rush to get away from the table, and he left rather quickly. _Tӫtka _took Kísta for her bath, flicking Dad on the shoulder with his tail in passing.

Which left my father and me alone at the table. He didn't ask anything as I'd expected him to, he just waited, leaning an arm against the table without glancing at me. It was obvious he wanted an explanation or something, though. Funny, I kind of wanted the same thing from him.

I hesitated though, remembering what Veito had said.

"Dad..." I began uneasily.

"Yeah?" he asked, looking at me expectantly.

"When did you... realize that you first liked Mom?"

He blinked once in surprise, "As more than a friend, you mean?"

I nodded, a little embarrassed.

He looked conflicted, as if the truth was a lot more complicated than he wanted to say. It probably was.

"That's kind of a long story," he muttered, dropping his gaze.

I was silent, wondering if he'd continue or just leave it at that. _I could just get up and leave..._

"Circumstance brought us together more than choice," Dad said eventually, scratching at the wood of the table top with one fingernail absently, "In all honesty I was forced to be with him before love came into the equation."

"You knew... you knew you were..." I floundered for my tact, it seemed an extremely awkward thing to ask, "...attracted to him though, right?"

I wasn't surprised to see color rise to his face briefly, "Yes." he said quietly, the tip of his tail flicking beside his chair, "Yes, certain events before we were ever together lead me to believe so."

_Well that was evasive,_ _even for Dad._ I thought grimly.

"And I kind of... had an obligation to stay with him, because..." Dad stammered, seeming about to say something else before he was interrupted.

"Because I was pregnant with Tess, Kakarot, might as well just say it." _Tӫtka_ said briskly, striding into the room with an air of amusement.

"Vegeta!" Dad objected, "You can't just _say _that to -"

"Why not? Tess is old enough to know how things are."

"I know how it works," I mumbled, not meeting either of their eyes and aware that I was blushing furiously.

"But you happen to be Saiyan, Tesserot," my mother interrupted, sitting down on my other side, "And things work a little differently for us."

I blinked, "How so?"

"Well for one, Saiyans select our chosen partners differently," he said steadily, "Where humans worry about physical appearance, personality, gender, and all that other nonsense, Saiyans are more drawn to strength first. Everything else comes after that. That, Tesserot, makes your range of choice of a mate on this planet rather narrow. It was the same for your father and me, except at first, neither of us were allowed to make that choice."

"Why?" I asked.

"I'm sure you know Kakarot's ex-wife ChiChi, and you know the woman Bulma and I used to be together in a similar way. While both were human women, and nowhere near satisfactory to our standards of strength, note that both are hot-tempered, smart, and demanding; and can hold their own in a fight or an argument. Those are Saiyan traits, which made them acceptable – but not ideal – partners for us."

I said nothing, processing this. What did it have to do with my own situation, though?

"A true mate, though, is very different." Dad added, "With human partnerships there are divorces or other ways of splitting the relationship. Humans can be fickle creatures, and a lot of their quote-unquote 'bonds' are made rashly, or with good intentions that just don't work out."

My mom nodded, "A mate is not a bond for life." he said, "It's a bond _beyond_ death. Nothing can destroy a consensual mating bond once it's solidified, and those who try to break that kind of bond do not survive. There was a time, before you were born, when I had been marked, but the bond was not complete, and that kind of one-sided mating was fairly easy – if dangerous – to break. Now it is different. If Kakarot were to die, I would die with him, and vice versa. One cannot live without the other."

Again, none of this seemed to have anything to do with what I meant to ask... but it was useful information. I had always been a little curious about the enigma of mating, and I had wondered how it worked or why it was so wonderful. Even now I wondered that; tying oneself to a person to the point of being unable to live without them seemed pretty extreme. And I wondered what benefits there were to that kind of permanent bond.

"When two Saiyans mate, it is an enormous commitment," Mom continued, folding his hands on the table, "It can be instigated when we are at our most primal, but it should not be done unless one _absolutely_ means to stay with their chosen for life and beyond, to be completely responsible for them, to protect them, and be willing to lay their soul bare to them." He lifted a hand and lowered the collar of his shirt, exposing the dark bite mark on his left shoulder. I'd seen it before, but it was the first time I had seen it this up close and had been allowed to stare. I could see in the rings of teeth marks how he had been bitten over and over, each time deeper, driving further into muscle and nerve to reinforce the bond between him and my dad. "With an exchange of blood, the bond locks in place, and the two become mates; physically, mentally, and spiritually linked forever."

I was quiet for a moment, "What's it like?"

"It's the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced," my _tӫtka_ murmured, "And also the most dangerous. His pain is mine, his emotions are mine, and likewise mine are his; everything is shared. But if I were to die... before Kakarot would join me, there is a high, almost certain chance he would destroy the world in his anguish. And that goes both ways."

"It's a risk we've both taken into account," Dad said soberly, "And will do anything possible to prevent. But nature is something we can't always fight, and with the amount of strength we both possess, I'd wager the Earth thanks its lucky stars that it has thus far continued to survive when things go wrong. One accident is all it would take to tip everything over, though."

"Why go through with something so risky, then?" I asked, confused, "Wouldn't it be safer not to mate and to just... be together?"

My parents looked at each other, with something like dry amusement. It was the kind of superior '_he's just a kid, what does he know?'_ look that I'd come to detest over the years. That was one of the first times I'd seen it from my parents though.

Dad smiled at me, "It's the most complete feeling in the world. It's your soulmate. You're never alone, you always have your mate by your side. No matter where you are, no matter how many miles may separate you from them at any time, your mate is always there. You always know you're accepted and loved by the one person who understands you completely. It's no wonder to me that one partner can't live without the other. I wouldn't know how to live without that connection and presence."

I looked at my parents then. Just looked at them and saw how content they were to be with each other, no matter what difficulties there were along the road, they always had each other. I could see what they meant, saying it was a beautiful thing. I still hadn't had my real questions answered, but I was a lot less uncertain now. And if what my _tӫtka_ said was true about Saiyans choosing strong partners... surely I could kiss my brother without wondering if there was something wrong with me.

TBC

_((Well, this story's almost done. There will be a three-quel in time, but I'm thinking one or two more chapters. This story, Gloves, and Peripheral Reality are all drawing to a close, but that means my other stories will get more attention._

_Thanks for reading and reviewing, and for sticking with this ridiculously long love story. I'd call it an epic if there was anything really epic about it._

_-Shinsun))_


	29. Chapter 29

Going Gold

Chapter 29

**Vegeta**

I was still panting, lying slightly on top of my larger mate; both of us sweating and breathing hard after a dual, intensive release. My skin still felt hot from being in heat, but it was cooling as I sweated out the compulsive hormones and relaxed with each second. Kakarot's eyes were closed peacefully, and he was gently stroking a hand along my shoulders as his pulse slowed down beneath my fingers.

A few months had passed since Tesserot's birthday, and things seemed to have calmed down for the most part. After all the drama of the previous months, that was a welcome break for everyone. A few days ago, Tess had been teaching Kísta how to fly, with a little help from his father to be sure the instruction was safe for both of them. Letting his son take over important things that would stay with Kísta for life was just another show of how Kakarot trusted Tess. And I was glad to see it.

"...Vegeta?" Kakarot said softly, his breathing still a little rough as he looked up at me with sated eyes.

I gave a questioning purr and threaded my fingers lightly through his dark hair.

His tail curled around my wrist as he seemed to consider what he was going to say, "You know Tess and Veito are... _involved_, right?"

I blinked, "What? What do you mean?"

"You didn't know that they're together?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"N-no, you don't mean they're... having sex?"

He shook his head quickly, "Not that I'm aware of, I'm pretty confident I'd be able to tell if they were."

I let out a relieved sigh, but I was still confused, "But how do you know that -?"

"I can smell it," he explained, "Lately Tesserot's scent is all over Veito, there's obviously something going on between them, and I'd wager that Tess thinks -whether consciously or otherwise – that Veito belongs to him."

_Must be a dominant male thing,_ I thought ambivalently, _Why does _he_ get the heightened senses and all I get are insane hormones?_

I pushed the momentary flash or jealousy from my mind; Kakarot payed for those small benefits with the monster constantly riding on his mind. I had no right to envy him.

Then something hit me, "But... they can't be – they're brothers, they can't be mates!"

Kakarot laughed, "Bullshit. You know better than anyone that Saiyan customs are very different from human ones."

"And you're the expert on this because...?"

He extricated himself from me gently and sat up, "Because I pay attention. Instinct is telling Tess he wants Veito, who are we to keep them apart?"

"We're they're parents and they – Kakarot, that's incest, why would -?"

He shook his head slowly with a sigh, "You're the one who's always telling me to stop thinking like a human. You've let Earth rub off on you, Vegeta, just think for a minute. Remember what it was like before we mated? No force in the universe could have kept us apart, even then, and though I tried to resist that, in the end it was futile."  
"That's different," I muttered, "Back then I was pregnant that's the only reason -"

"Is it really?" he interrupted, "What about before then? Before either of us knew about that, or before we even... There's always been something drawing us together; and that's fate, I think."

"But what about Tess and Veito? You've already said there's a possibility that Veito can conceive like I can..."

He shrugged, "If it's meant to happen it will."

"But -" I began, I couldn't even begin to imagine what complicated relationships that would cause. If Tess and Veito had a child... It would be both their son _and_ their nephew? And there was something else too, "But what about Veito's genetic disorder? If he has an attack while he's -" I cut myself off, "And besides that, when two people of close relations produce offspring, it passes on all kinds of genetic mutations, Kakarot, why do you think humans are so against it?"

He looked thoughtful, "That's true... We might have to have a talk with the two of them anyway. Make sure they know what's safe and what could happen."

I snorted, "What, throw some condoms at them and hope for the best?"

My mate burst out laughing, "While that's an entertaining mental image, no. Tess has already had the whole mating thing explained to him; if we can just make sure they know what to expect and how to protect themselves from it, we could prevent them from making the same mistakes we did."

Anger flared unexpectedly, "None of this is a _mistake,_ Kakarot!"

His tail gave a placating swish, "I know, _shi-kḁdria,_ I know. And you know I don't regret any of it. But both of us suffered a lot in the beginning and that could have been prevented. I don't want either of our sons to do anything that will cause them to suffer like that."

I sighed resignedly, "Looks like we're in for another mess before too long."

Kakarot purred soothingly and kissed my forehead, "It'll work out in the end, it always does."

X

After that I kept a close eye on Tess and Veito. They did seem to be spending a lot of time alone together, and while I didn't want to spy on them, some nagging worry made me wish I knew what they were doing and thinking. ….Maybe that was how all parents felt once their children started dating and things. But most parents' children weren't dating their _sibling._

_My sons are dating... that is quite possibly the weirdest thing I've forced myself to think in a while._

It was a few days later that something occurred to me. The Saiyan race was bigger now than it had been since my home planet had been destroyed decades ago... and if my sons ended up together, it might get even bigger. That is assuming it wasn't drastically diminished, if something happened to either of them... It seemed to be more risk than it was worth, but... I wanted my children to be happy, and if being with each other like that made them happy, I would be hard-pressed to force them apart.

Later that week Kakarot and I were sparring; the weather was warmer than it had been since winter released its grip, and the air was rich with the scent of the impending spring. It was the perfect atmosphere for senseless destruction to unfold, and the newly-thawed ground was buckled, singed, and cleaved with deep cracks by the time, hours later, that we took a breather. I wiped sweat from my neck and looked at my mate; it was at times like this – when we were just alone with each other - that he seemed the happiest, his eyes the clearest, and I knew the monster was leaving him alone. It was enough to make me want to stay by his side constantly, and never be more than a foot away, just to give him that relief. And I had to admit that with his shirt torn to shreds and a sheen of sweat glittering over his skin, his hair tangled with the wind and his tail flying high with confidence, he looked magnificent. A powerful Saiyan warrior in the flesh, and he was all mine. Breathless from exertion, I leaned close to him, resting a hand on his heaving chest, and he dipped his head down; our lips an inch apart...

The moment shattered when I felt the frantic ki of little Kísta approaching quickly, and Kakarot looked up. I turned to see her flying towards us – having perfected the new skill – looking panicked.

"Daddy! Mommy!" she called out to us.

I was about to reprimand her – whether for interrupting or for calling me by the human word I detested, I wasn't sure - but then I saw the look on her face. Abject terror.

"What happened?" Kakarot beat me to asking, stepping away from me and towards his daughter. I regretted the loss of his steady body heat when a lingering chill of the early season bit at my sweat-soaked skin.

"Veito... he..." the little girl panted, out of breath from her flight.

"Where is he?" I demanded, fear setting in, reflecting hers.

"He was... in the kitchen when... he just fell down... I tried to get him up but -"

_He's having an attack -!_

I shot an urgent glance at my mate and he nodded rigidly.

"Big brother's with him...he sent me to find you..." Kísta finished. She seemed to see that we were about to leave, and she held her little arms over her head in the universal toddler's gesture of '_carry me?'_

I relented and picked her up, holding her against my chest and taking hold of Kakarot's wrist as he teleported.

XXX

**Tesserot**

I hadn't been there when Veito collapsed. It was only the huge drop in his ki and the sound of something glass shattering that brought me running, to find my brother facedown on the kitchen floor, unconscious with the remnants of some glass object strewn around him; with blood running sluggishly from his forehead and lower lip. He lay still except for the shivering wracking his shoulders and the occassional, jerking twitch. I panicked; I knew he was in the grip of an attack but I had never seen it this bad... and I told Kísta to go and find Mom and Dad. Once she had gone, I knelt at Veito's side, wondering haphazardly if there was anything I could do.

His forehead felt feverish and his breathing was shallow and uneven, and no matter how I tried to bring him back he didn't respond. If I couldn't feel his unsteady pulse ticking against my fingertips when I touched them to his neck, I would have considered he might be dead.

I can't justify through words the relief I felt when my parents appeared next to me, Kísta in my _tӫtka's _arms, glancing at me for approval in having completed her task.

"Thank the gods," I whispered, getting to my feet, shards of glass crunching under my shoes.

"What happened?" Dad asked me, surprisingly calmly, but with an urgent tone beneath the words; his gaze scanning over his youngest son quickly as he strode over to me.

"I d – I don't know," I stammered, "I heard something break and felt his ki go strange like it... like it always does when this happens."

Something like sympathy came into his gaze; a kind of '_it's not your fault'_ expression; and he crouched at his son's side, feeling his forehead much the same as I had done, the saccade of his eyes moving rapidly from Veito's collapsed form to the surrounding area.

"Normally he would have just been paralyzed, but conscious... this is bad..." he muttered. At first I thought he was talking to himself, but then I saw _Tӫtka _nod once from behind me, still holding Kísta.

Dad shook his head frustratedly, "All I can think is that it got him here, and he stumbled and hit his head on something... knocking him out..."

"The floor?" I suggested.

"No, before that..." he stood slowly, running a hand over the edge of the low granite counter; his fingers came away smudged with blood, "...Yeah," he said, wincing with pity for his son, "He hit the counter and collapsed, and he was either holding something glass – looks like a bowl or a vase – or knocked it over when he fell..."

"Alright so we know _how_ it happened," _Tӫtka _snapped from kneeling beside Veito, eyebrows drawn together with worry, "But there's still... Fuck – there's still nothing we can do..."

I was aware that my mother had a rather foul mouth, my father was no better, but they rarely swore in front of us unless there was serious trouble.

"Not true," Dad said steadily, "We can be here for him, and give him our energy. And when he does come back around we can comfort him." ...I could have sworn he looked specifically at me when he said this last part, "There is always _something_ we can do."

So... we all stayed near Veito, channeling energy into him in an attempt to help him; even Kísta placed her tiny hands on his shoulder and screwed up her face with concentration, trying to give her brother ki.

After a long, tense count of minutes, the sharp, pained line between Veito's eyebrows softened, and his body relaxed. His ki did not rise, however, and his eyes didn't open.

I started to panic again, but my dad held out a hand to steady me, "It's alright, he's passed out completely but the attack let him go. He'll be fine, he's just exhausted."

"He's still bleeding," _Tӫtka_ said quietly, "We should do something about that first."

Dad nodded, rising to his feet once again. "We don't have any senzu, and it's not a serious wound anyway...he should be fine with a band-aid and some antiseptic."

Once the cut on Veito's forehead had been cleaned and bandaged, _Tӫtka_ took him upstairs and gently laid him in his bed. I stayed with Dad and helped him clear up the broken glass and blood from the floor.

He spoke to me after a while, dustpan still in hand, "Your mother and I know,"

"Know...?" I asked, confused.

"About you and Veito... that you're together."

I almost poked my eye out with the end of the broom, "What?"

"It's okay. We're not mad at you." he consoled, but I didn't need to hear it.

"We're not..._together;_ I mean, we've kissed a couple times and we spend some time together but -" I couldn't believe I was saying any of this, I hadn't expected to for a long time, if at all.

"Tess, it's fine." Dad said softly, placing a hand on my shoulder, "If you're happy, I'm happy."

"But -"

"I've seen the way you look at him," he interrupted gently, "It's the same way your mother used to look at me. If you're not 'together' now, my guess is you will be... when the time is right."

"And you... you're really both okay with it?"

He smiled, "Of course. I'll always support you one hundred percent, and your mom does too... Just know both of us are always here if you ever need to talk."

I hesitated, and then dropped the broom and reached out to hug my father.

"...Thank you."

TBC

_((I think... this is the last chapter. There will be an epilogue, and eventually a third installment, but this is where it ends, I guess._

_Thanks for sticking with me and this story, and for the nice reviews that keep me putting fingers to the keyboard. I appreciate it and I love all of you._

_-Shinsun))_


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